Seeking Him

Stephen Ministry

In 2004, we began Stephen Ministry at our church.  We have trained 3 classes of Stephen Ministers and we are hoping to offer our 4th training class this fall.  In order to get the word out about what a blessing it is to be a Stephen Minister, we are having an interest meeting this Sunday at 11:15 at our church.  Someone recently sent this link to me and I had the opportunity to watch it today.  What a wonderful tool to let people know about this incredible ministry!  Enjoy!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." ~Saint Teresa of Avila

I posted the quote above as my Facebook status one day last week and was interested to see how many people responded positively to it.  Since then, I have been thinking about what it means to be Christ's hands and feet on earth.  Clearly, this idea resonates with people, but how do we go about doing it?

It seems to me that we might begin to "be" Christ's hands and feet by considering how Jesus used his hands and feet while He was walking among us.  Jesus, God Incarnate, lived on earth in human form and, before He returned to the Father, promised that we who had faith in Him would do "greater things than these." (John 14:12) Through the writers of scripture, we have a record of the way Jesus lived out His earthly existence and these stories offer us clues on how we might continue His work.  

First, Jesus knew that He had to spend time with the Father in order to know where to go and what to do next. Throughout the gospels, we hear that Jesus often "withdrew to a solitary place" in order to hear from His Heavenly Father.  Jesus says this in John 5:19 (the Message):

I'm telling you this straight.  The Son can't independently do a thing, only what He sees the Father doing.  What the Father does, the Son does.  The Father loves the Son and includes Him in everything He is doing.  

If Jesus needed down time with His Father, how much more must that apply to us?  I have found that even my most well-intentioned attempts to do God's will are useless unless I regularly "withdraw to a solitary place" to listen to my Father. Through time in His word, sharing my heart in prayer AND being still enough to listen, I begin to see the path God has for me to get involved in what He is doing in my little part of His world.  Without that time, I find that I am often tilting at windmills.

Secondly, Jesus was willing to be interrupted as He went about the work the Father had given Him to do.  Most of the accounts that we have of Jesus interacting with people and performing miracles begin with a phrase like "as Jesus went on from there."  He was often traveling to another destination when someone approached Him in need of healing.  While His disciples often tried to discourage or deter these seekers, Jesus always had time for the people who crossed His path.  Jesus was all about relationship.  In these instances, He made the choice to stop and offer healing and care to the persons involved.  Because He was not overly tied to His agenda of the moment, He could attend to the higher purposes for which He was sent.  In our own lives, we similarly have the choice to view the unexpected, the unplanned and the inconvenient interruptions we encounter as precious opportunities for ministry....divine appointments to realize our own role in bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven.  

Third, Jesus was willing to get His hands dirty.  One of my favorite stories about Jesus was the time He chose to wash the feet of His disciples in order to teach them about being a servant.  In their culture, washing dirty feet was the lowliest of jobs, yet Jesus got on His knees and tenderly washed and dried the dust-covered feet of those He loved most and then entreated them to do the same in His name.  In fact, He said clearly in John 13:15  "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."  As I seek to find the "important" work that I can do in God's Kingdom, I sometimes overlook the opportunities for smaller acts of service...acts that become holy when done from a place of love and grace and gratitude.  Life is messy.  People are complicated.  Getting our hands dirty; literally or figuratively, requires a willingness to get involved in the middle of the mess and complications.  Yet, that is exactly what Jesus has called us to do.  I have written on this before and I quoted this song from Michael Card in its entirety.  Here is my favorite part:

And the space between ourselves sometimes
is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
we take up the basin and the towel.

Finally, if we are to truly become Jesus' hands and feet, we must share His love for "the least of these."  This is the hard part of the gospel message for us sometimes.  Jesus was revolutionary in His approach to the downtrodden and forgotten in His society.  He touched lepers, He welcomed women and children, He dined with criminals, He championed the poor, He defended the powerless.  Jesus spent His time on earth with the hated and the outcasts and claimed that He had come to "preach good news to the poor."  There are a number of examples of this in scripture.  Here are just a few:

• He tells of a rich man and a poor one, and how the poor man goes to heaven and the rich man doesn’t.(Luke 16:19-31)  
• He tells of others who’ll be surprised they didn’t get into paradise because they didn’t take care of Him when He was hungry or in prison. They object that they never saw Him that way; He replies that whenever they neglected the hungry or imprisoned or unclothed, they neglected Him (Matthew 25.)  
• He says it’s harder for a rich person to enter heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle. He tells a rich man only one thing is between him and the Kingdom: he needs to sell what he has and give it to the poor (Mark 10:17-31.)
  

While Jesus came to reconcile us ALL to the Father, He is clear that He expects us to take care of one another and to begin with "the least of these."  God does not call all of us to sell everything we have and give it all to the poor, but He does call us to get involved and allow Him to show us how.  If I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I have to open my eyes to the suffering in the world and allow my heart to be broken by those things that break the heart of the Father.  Because there is so much brokenness in our world, I can become overwhelmed by the need and throw my hands up in despair.  I recently read a book that addressed these issues in a profound way and gave me hope for the Church.  Please read it, if this topic tugs at your heart.  It is called The Hole in Our Gospel. Bottom line: we each can make a difference and it matters that we try...God is at work in the world and we can be part of it.  We can be the hands and feet of Jesus in our part of the world...what a privilege!

Living Life Online- Facebook, Blogging, IPhones, Etc.

If you are over 40, you perhaps share my amazement at how the world has changed in our lifetime.  I recently blogged about my journey parenting teenagers, but neglected to mention the additional challenges created by the fact that my kids can be connected to their peers 24/7 due to their access to cell phones and Facebook.  Living life online is the only way my kids know how to be teenagers.  It is a challenge that our parents did not face when we were making our journeys through adolescence, so we have no model to follow on this front.  As I find with much of this parenting thing, we are making it up as we go along...even more so, in terms of guiding our children and their use of social media and technology.  Perhaps a good addition to my list in that previous blog entry: remember that we as parents have to teach our kids that computers and cell phones are not a right, but a privilege...a privilege that can be lost, if not handled responsibly.

But I digress...I am not interested in talking today about my kid's use of technology, but my own.  Although I ostensibly originally got on Facebook to spy on my teenagers, I have found myself to be every bit as enamored by it as they are.  In fact, I love ALL of this stuff!  I was thrilled by my first car phone in the early 90s...remember, they were actually installed in your car?  You couldn't carry it around with you!  No phone in the grocery store; how did we survive?  And I remember when my girlfriend in Michigan showed me this cool Internet thing when I was there visiting her in the mid 90's. Funny how antiquated that first computer we had then would be now that we are a house of multiple computers.  The phones got smaller, the hard drives got bigger, the internet access got faster and now I can access my email and Facebook from my phone from anywhere in the world!  And don't even get me started on how much I love my IPhone...it is ridiculous!  Frankly, it still seems like some kind of magic to me that I can be on my wireless home phone with my sister in North Carolina and email her a picture, either with my cell phone or my computer, while I am still talking to her and she can instantly see what I am referencing.  Crazy!

I began blogging in September of 2005 after being introduced to the blogging world by my friend Neil (whose blog I still enjoy.)  Initially, I blogged A LOT and found that it opened up a whole new world for me.  I loved the creativity of writing and I have been blessed by the opportunity to share my faith journey with the folks who stopped by to read what I had to say.  When I added Facebook to the mix a couple of years ago, I found that I backed off blogging a bit to play with this "new toy."  In the last couple of months, I have begun to connect my Facebook community and my blog readers with some extremely cool technology that my blogging host Typepad has recently offered. 

Please join me on a tour of the new features that we now offer here at Seeking Him  :-)

• My blog is set up to automatically post my entries on Facebook.  My friends on Facebook can then click on the link and be taken directly to my blog.
• Once here, my readers have the opportunity to "Like" my blog by clicking on the Facebook "like" button on the left side of the page.  Besides making me feel validated (as in you aren't really liked until you are "Liked" on Facebook :-)) I think that it somehow gives the "fans" of my blog some additional notification when I post a new entry.  For those of you who have "liked" my blog, thank you so much! 
• There is also a Facebook "like" button under each particular blog entry.  This gives readers the opportunity to express their enjoyment of a particular entry and thereby "recommend" it to their Facebook friends by it showing up on their Facebook page as something they "liked."  Everyone still with me?  
• This is my favorite one!!  Under each post, there is a feature called "LinkWithin" that recommends three other posts I have written in the past.  Through some kind of internet magic, this application scans the entry for key words and topics, then recommends three "you might also like."  I have really enjoyed this one, as it has reminded me of things I have written in the past and showed me how God was working in my life at that point in my journey.
• Also under each entry, there is a "Favorites" button.  Although I love the idea that readers could mark some of their favorite entries, I don't actually know what happens when you click that link.  If you read something you particularly like, would you click on that button for me and let me know what happens?  :-)
• There is also a "Reblog" button.  I think this allows you to copy my entry and share it on your own blog....again, you can see that I didn't exactly read the fine print when I added this feature.
• Lastly, the banner across the top is another new feature that I love.  That is a picture of flowers from my very own garden!  I love that I can personalize my blog by using my own pictures, so stay tuned for seasonal changes!  

So there you have it!!  Before I added anymore bells and whistles, I thought I would update everyone on some of the cool stuff that is already there.  I'm sure Typepad will come up with more fun toys to add to my blog and I will have to add them as well.  Did I mention that I can also access my blog from my phone?  So far, I have never posted a blog entry from my phone, but the fact that I could if I wanted to makes me giggle. So fun!

Feed My Sheep

While we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago, I read a fabulous book.  While any book is fairly fabulous when read by the ocean :-), this one really captured my attention and has continued to simmer beneath the surface for me.  The book is called Take this Bread: A Radical Conversion and it was written by author Sara Miles.  

Having grown up in the church, I am increasingly interested in what draws people to the Christian walk later in their lives...what about Jesus is compelling for them?  How does "the church" help in that process of drawing someone to Jesus and how, as it so often does, does the church get in the way?   Sara was a completely secular person who wandered into a church at the age of 46, took communion and fell in love with Jesus.  Her life up to that point, while fascinating and full of adventure (war coorespondent/ freedom fighter/ chef,) did not in any way seem to be that of a person who would be drawn to the traditional church.  Yet, her journey to a life-transforming, world-changing walk with Jesus happened...in spite of her own biases against the church and, frankly, the church's biases against her.  I was taken with her sense of humor, her humility and her tremendous insights into what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ in a broken world.  Most of all, I was moved by her passion for the Lord and her compassion for His children.

Sara's faith journey eventually leads her to open up a food pantry for the "least of these" in an impoverished, multi-cultural neighborhood in San Francisco.  What she learned about herself, her God and her fellow human beings resonated with me on many levels; both in terms of my own love for and frustrations with the church and, more recently, with my life changing experiences at the Lamb Center.  Here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

"Caught up in the moment, every moment, I didn't know that those war years would be formative Christian experiences.  They would introduce me not only to big Christian themes--love, death, fear, and sacrifice among them--but to hard lessons about what it means to be a Christian.  Long before I went to church or ran a food pantry, wars would reveal my weaknesses and mistakes---sins, to use a word that never occurred to me then---and make me find a way to continue working, past shame.  They showed me how helpless I was to save anyone, or to fix suffering, and how it mattered anyway for me to be there with people.  I'd have to learn to receive when I was proud and give when I was burned-out and poke around in strange places without knowing what I was going to uncover."

"...I didn't 'deserve' communion myself now.  I wasn't getting it because I was good.  I wasn't getting it because I was special.  I certainly didn't get to pick who else was good enough, holy enough, deserving enough, to receive it.  It wasn't a private meal.  The bread on that Table had to be shared with everyone in order for me to really taste it....I was not going to get to sit by myself and think loftily about how much Jesus loved me in particular.  I was not going to get to have dinner, eternally, with people just like me. I was going to get communion, whether I wanted it or not, with people I didn't necessarily like.  People I didn't choose...but, the people who God chose for me.      I ate the bread.    Conversion isn't, after all, a moment: It's a process, and it keeps happening, with cycles of acceptance and resistance, epiphany and doubt."

"You can't be a Christian by yourself was a lesson I though I'd grasped...but the conceit of individual salvation remained a powerfully tempting one.  Offering groceries to all comers around the altar, I would discover how painfully like church the food pantry really was: how it asked me to leave the certainties of past behind, tangled me up with people I didn't particularly want to know, and frightened me with its demand for more that I was ready to give."

"I think we are called to something harder than being conventional 'Good Samaritans.'  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, being rescued by strangers and foreigners, by the wrong people.  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, as beaten, hungry, hurting, lost at the side of the road.  Called to touch the parts of ourselves that are strange and damaged and needy.  Called to receive love from people we don't know and have no reason to trust.  And only then, in turn, being called to the second part: to go and do the same thing---knowing it will change us in ways we didn't plan and may not like."

"All of it pointed to a force stronger than the anxious formulas of religion: a radically inclusive love that accompanied people in the most ordinary of actions--eating, drinking, walking--and stayed with them through fear, even past death.  That love meant giving yourself away, embracing outsiders as family, emptying yourself to feed and live for others.  The stories illuminated the holiness located in mortal human bodies, and the promise that people could see God by cherishing all those different bodies the way God did.  They spoke of a communion so much vaster than any church could contain: one I had sensed all my life could be expressed in the sharing of food, particularly with strangers. 

I couldn't stop think about another story: Jesus instructed his beloved, fallible disciple Peter exactly how to love Him: 'Feed my sheep.'  Jesus asked, 'Do you love me?'  Peter fussed: 'Of course I love you.'  'Feed my sheep'  Peter fussed some more.  'Do you love me?' asked Jesus again.  'Then feed my sheep.'

It seemed pretty clear.  If I wanted to see God, I could feed people."

Healing Wounds

One of the profound mysteries of our Christian faith is celebrated today on the day we call Good Friday.  I read this scripture this morning and then looked it up in The Message translation:

1 Peter 2:21-25 (The Message)

 ^21-25This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.

   He never did one thing wrong,
   Not once said anything amiss.
They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.

By His wounds, we are healed.  I love how The Message says "He used His servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way."  As I mentioned in my last post, the example Jesus sets for us in being a servant is really resonating with me right now.  I love that Jesus has set us free to be servants and that our wounds, our brokenness, our frailty can be used to bring healing to others.  Nothing is wasted in God's Divine Economy (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)  By His wounds, we have been healed.  His wounds become my healing...set free to love, I can be used for the healing of another.  The Kingdom of God on earth, Amen.

It is a Good Friday. 

Yuck Wars

M.O.P was last night.  For the uninitiated, MOP stand for Massive Outdoor Party.  This involved mud pits, contests to see who could hold Alka-Seltzer in their mouth the longest, and the largest Food Fight I have ever seen.  I have never done one of these slide shows before, but let's give it a try.

Can someone tell me why youth ministry is so messy?!?  :-)

Everybody Cut Footloose

This is Footloose week at our house.  You may remember that back in August I mentioned that my daughters and I were auditioning for our church's production of a musical rendition of the 1984 movie Footloose.  My older daughter and I were both invited to be part of the cast and we have been working on the production since September.  All of those hours of rehearsal come to fruition this weekend; 6 shows in 4 days!  We opened last night and it was a fabulous evening for all.  Everyone who attended really seemed to appreciate our performance and we all had a blast finally getting to share our work with an audience.

The majority of this cast of 60+ are high school age teens.  There are a few middle school kids, like my daughter, in small ensemble roles and then we old folks round out the group.  Footloose is about a restless city boy, Ren McCormack, who moves to a small town and rebels when he hears that dancing is against the law.  I portray Ethel, Ren's mom.  Footloose is about the danger of closing our hearts and minds and, ultimately, about the redemptive power of love and forgiveness.  It is a huge show, filled with songs familiar to many of us and incredible dance numbers.  Lucky for me and the audience, I am NOT one of the ones doing the dancing!!

As I said when we did Godspell last year, working on a production of this magnitude with all these young people involves much joy and laughter.  The enthusiasm and energy of this group is contagious and I love being with all of them.  While the experience of Footloose has been very different from Godspell in many ways, Footloose has had its own gifts.  I will be sad when it is over on Sunday.

Yesterday, I sent out an email to the cast to tell them about a wonderful God moment that I had experienced in bible study on Wednesday morning.  One of the main topics in our video presentation at bible study was dancing!  Of all the weeks to talk about what scripture says about dancing, how perfect that it was the week of Footloose.  In the video, Beth Moore suggested that God created all of us to have a natural urge to dance and sing as an outlet for our praise and gratitude to Him....an in-born instinct to worship...to express our joy and connection to our Creator.  In the story of Footloose, Ren reminds the town council that scripture is full of references to dancing with joy and praise.  As I sat there at bible study, I thought about the joy of dancing and singing that all of the kids in this cast express on stage and I wondered how many of them truly understand that God wired them that way as a way for them to express their love to Him and to each other.  I also wondered if I had done my part in relating that message of God's love to them. 

Our director and our choreographer have both reminded us several times that this process is all about giving....giving unselfishly to one another on stage....giving of ourselves to the audience during the show.  Being transported out of your own worries and concerns while seated in a dark theater is one of the gifts of the show.  The ways that we can all relate to the common struggles of the characters portrayed is another of the gifts.  And, of course, laughter and tears...the times when we are impacted at the level of our heart...are the greatest of the healing gifts of theater.  What can happen when the lights go down in the theater is truly magical.  I have experienced it everytime I am in the audience, and even more so when I have the privilege of being on the stage.

I'm sure I will have more thoughts next week, assuming I survive 6 shows in 4 days!  It is a busy week and I am having the time of my life. Pray for us, and if you are in Northern Virginia, come see our show!

Thoughts on Church Today

Just got home from church and have several things floating around in my brain.  Thought I would process them out loud with you here.

First Thoughts

Wonderful sermon by Pastor Neil this morning...really got me thinking.  If you read my blog, you probably read Neil's as well...if you don't, go check it out here.  Anyway, the sermon series right now is about worship and Neil was talking this morning about developing a life of worship.  He is a runner and used the analogy of training for a 10 mile run to remind us that we don't develop a lifestyle of worship by just trying really hard...we have to train over a period of time.  He talked about what is involved in the Basic Training of establishing a lifestyle of worship...something I certainly aspire to do, like many of you.  Here are the 4 things he mentioned:

• Begin and end each day with prayer
• Read the bible every day
• Pray for other people and the situations in your world
• Spend time with other believers

He spent some time elaborating on each of these points.  For instance, he suggested that we begin each day by reaffirming our decision to offer ourselves as a "living sacrifice" to God...a 30 second prayer of dedication and surrender.  The end of the day prayer was intended to give us the opportunity to look back over our day and confess the areas where we missed the mark, thank God for the places we saw Him at work, and ask for guidance for the next day.  He suggested even 5 minutes every day spent reading God's Word would be a great place to begin our training.  He went on to remind us of the importance of praying for others and developing relationships with fellow believers who could encourage us in our journey.

So, what's the big deal?  Certainly not stuff we haven't heard plenty of times before, right?  I guess that is the point.  I think sometimes we make it so much more complicated than it needs to be.  Especially if you have been hanging around "spiritual" people very long.  We use big stain-glassed words and complicated disciplines, perhaps to make ourselves feel more spiritual.  As Neil said when we talked about it after the service, if we make it more complicated, it gives us an excuse to just not do it.  If I feel that I need to spend hours every day in prayer and intensive bible study, it is easy to make the case that I don't have the time.  So, I do nothing and lament that I don't have the relationship with God that I desire....that I don't have a consistent prayer life...that I don't know God's will for my life.

In the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, you often hear the acronym K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid.  Perhaps that is what Jesus was talking about when He told us to have "child-like" faith.  I know, for myself, that I often get frustrated by my inability to maintain the disciplines that I know draw me closer to God.  Perhaps, when I am noticing that struggle, it would be a good time to get back to basics....the Basic Training that Neil talked about today.  Instead of reading Christian self-help books or picking up an additional bible study, maybe checking out where I am on the 4 things listed above would be more helpful.  Some of them are consistently part of my days, some I do more sporadically.  Back to Basics...just like with exercise.   

Second Thoughts

The second part of my time at church this morning was spent attending the adult Sunday School class that our senior pastor, Rob, has been leading.  It has been a 4 week process where we have explored some of the denominational issues with which the PCUSA has been struggling.  Today's class was the opportunity for he and some of our elders to share with us where God has led them in terms of the response from our church.  As they shared, they recounted the process by which they felt the Holy Spirit lead them in the opposite direction from where they had been headed initially.  I have been following this process all along, had been praying about this all along, and was relieved to hear that God had indeed led them in the direction I hoped they would go....namely, to not leave the denomination.

At the end of our time together, they invited questions and comments.  I raised my hand during the end of that time and offered praises to God for His leading and affirmed the members of Session for their obedience in seeking and listening for God's will and for the time and energy that they had each spent in this process.  Several people came up to me afterwards to thank me for offering those words of encouragement.

However, on the way home, God lovingly convicted me.  Essentially, in my spirit, He said to me "Would you have been so willing to offer Me praise if I had led them in the opposite direction?  Would you have trusted that it was My will, if they had come to a conclusion that was different than your will?" 

I wonder how often I reserve my praise for God to the times when His will agrees with my will?  When it sounds good to me...a logical direction based on my personal desires?  What about the times when His will seems to be diametrically opposed to what I think that I want?  To what I think is best or right?  Can I trust Him in those times as well?  Perhaps more importantly, do I praise Him in those times?

Hmmm...all kinds of good food for thought!  I'm glad I showed up for church this morning!

Mini Missionaries

The kids on this mission trip were middle school students, ranging in age from 11- 14 (rising 6th- rising 9th graders.)  A couple of them may have even been 10, if they had a late summer birthday.  We had 27 kids and 12 adults. 

I have to admit that, prior to our leaving, I was a bit concerned about kids this young being involved with a week long mission project.  Last year, the middle school students went to the same place, but only for a couple of days.  My youngest was one of the younger kids and I wasn't sure if she could handle this kind of work for this many days.  She, and all of the other kids, proved me wrong.

We were divided into 4 work groups.  Three of the groups started the week over at a trailer park that had been damaged by a flood this past April.  These kids laid under trailers pulling nasty, rotting insulation out and replacing it with new insulation.  In addition to the bad insulation, they encountered a variety of bugs, slugs and spiders.  Because dealing with the insulation can make you very itchy, the folks working with it had to wear long sleeve shirts, pants and protective gear on their faces.  Everyday we were there, it was over 90 degrees and high humidity.  Two of the groups, including the ones that my two girls were on, spent the whole week under trailers.  And not one kid ever complained!

When you talked to the kids who spent their days at the trailer parks, they didn't talk about being hot....they didn't talk about lying in filth underneath a trailer.  They talked about the people they met there.  They talked about Amber, the little 6 year old girl they befriended.  They talked about Dale, the older gentleman who was disabled that they befriended.  They talked about Rick and Linda.  They talked about how proud they were that they overcame their fear of spiders, or their fear of closed in spaces, to crawl under that trailer to help the people who lived there.  They came home dirty, sweaty and proud of the work they had done that day.

In the culture that we live in here in Northern Virginia, I think it is pretty awesome that we found 27 young teenagers who were willing to give a week of their summer to do this kind of work.  These kids exceeded my expectations of them.  When given the opportunity to sacrificially serve, they rose to the occasion.  I was touched by their willingness to work hard, but even more so by their willingness to connect with the local people whom we endeavored to serve. 

Everytime I felt overwhelmed by the heat...everytime I inwardly whined about the lack of air conditioning, I just looked around me at the kids with whom I was privileged to serve.  They are my heroes...I hope I grow up to be just like them.

Post- Godspell Blues

We did it!!!  Three awesome shows!  Everybody stepped up and made it happen...the cast, the band, the crew, all the volunteers that fed us and took tickets and cheered us on.  It was an absolutely incredible experience; I will never forget this weekend.

I tried to write something on Sunday evening, but I was too physically exhausted after a week of living on adrenaline.  Yesterday was a day of wonderful emails from cast members to one another expressing their affection and their sadness that this part of our journey is complete.  It seems that I am not the only person that has found this to be one of the highlights of my life.

For the past 48 hours, I find myself clutching my Godspell treasure box close.  In quiet moments, I take out a memory...a moment...a scene or a song...and turn it slowly around in my heart and mind to savor it again.  A moment in the green room before the last show watching Duke and Nick C. plot to add a little something "extra" to the show to surprise us :-)...a moment when 4 or 5 of us prayed around Garrett because his voice was scratchy and sore...a moment when I watched my precious first-born from across the stage having the time of her life.  I cherish these moments with my friends...my Godspell family. 

I also hold close to my heart the three times that I got to sing my song in the shows.  The peace I had because I knew I was prepared....the comfort of knowing that "my girls" were praying for me while I sang, just as I had prayed for them when it was their turn to sing.  The moment that I gave my song to God as an offering, then just let it rip...the exhiliration of knowing that it was good and that God was being glorified through the words that I was singing.  The sheer joy of making music and sharing it with an audience...it is a high that is hard for me to describe.  It was as if God gave me a present and then I had the privilege of offering it back to Him for Him to use to touch all of our hearts.  As the quote from the movie Chariots of Fire says, when I sang, I felt "God's pleasure" and knew that I was right in the center of His Will.

Each night had its particular joys and wonderful memories.  There were dear ones in attendance at all 3 shows...packed house on Friday night, completely sold out on Saturday and Sunday!!  Every musical number intensified the energy and the emotion of the message...all the parables and skits bound the audience to us in laughter.  The more they laughed, the more fun we had and the sillier/ better we got.  The Prodigal Son part of the first act just got better and better with each show; Duke, Kevin, Trevor, Nick, Heidi and my Alex were having a blast and the rest of us enjoyed it as much as the audience.  The entire second act just got better and better each night; Sara's teasing of the guys (and the audience!) in "Turn Back, Oh Man," Garrett's passion in "Alas for You, " the energy of the whole cast in "We Beseech Thee," the tender beauty and heartbreak in both of the ladies' trios.  Everything built to a crescendo in the cruxificion scene...the emotion was real and raw, especially on Sunday.  We remembered why we keep telling this story...and why we will celebrate Easter once again next week.

The final memory of the weekend stars Kevin.  At our cast party on Sunday evening, Kevin performed a one man show of Godspell...playing all of our parts.  We laughed so hard that I thought I was going to pull something....seeing as how I was already exhausted and sore, I am not entirely sure it was healthy :-)!!  He is brilliant and will probably be famous someday. I enjoyed watching him, but even more, I enjoyed watching the person who he was "playing" as he re-played our individual parts.  The look on their faces...the delight of watching their contribution played back in such a light-hearted way...was priceless.  Kevin would deliver their line or their expression almost as an impression of them and the look on their face showed their pride in what they had created...it was their gift and, in our hearts, would always belong to that individual. 

I could write forever on this topic, but I will stop for now.  There are some members of our cast planning to go to another production of Godspell in D.C. this weekend, but I'm not ready yet.  Right now, I want to cherish the way we did it, the way we sang it, the way we killed the Fatted Calf three times....heee heee!  I will be ready to enjoy the music again in late April when three of our cast members perform in Godspell Jr. at one of our local middle schools....go Kevin, Trevor and Nick!!!!

For any of you cast members reading this, what are we going to do this weekend???????????

Saving Grace

I've found myself in tears at least 3 times today and it is only 2:00 in the afternoon.  Once I cried when I read an email from one of my fellow cast members this morning.  I found myself crying again when I was listening to praise music while working out mid-day.  Then I cried numerous times reading Anne Lamott's new book.  I'm not sure whether it's hormones or the intensity of the emotions surrounding this weekend of Godspell, but my spirit feels raw...like the new skin underneath when the scab has come off...it doesn't hurt, but it needs time to toughen up to live out in the real world.  None of the tears were about sadness.  Each time...if there is a common thread...the tears were about people being saved by grace.  Saved from alienation, saved from self-obsession, saved from loneliness, addiction and despair.  Grace that softens the edges of our spirits and allows us to open up to other human beings and to God.  Grace that says you are OK just like you are.  Grace that says that you are loved deeply and forever and for no reason except that you are you....with no requirement except that you accept that Grace.  Saving Grace....life-affirming Grace.  Today it overwhelmed me and made me cry.

There is a song in the show...the first song that Jesus sings and that we join him in singing.  It is a plea for God to save us....God Save the People.  A prayer we pray when we see the images from Iraq or Darfur or Southeast D.C....a prayer I pray every time I hear George Bush speak (OK, sorry, I've been reading Anne Lamott all afternoon and I'm feeling fiesty :-)  It really helped me when our director reminded us that, although we are celebrating and dancing during this upbeat song, we are also pleading, begging, searching for answers...for saving...for grace perhaps.  The disciples we play were, as we are, people in need of saving.  Here are the words...read them as a prayer:

When wilt thou save the people?
Oh God of mercy, when?
Not kings and lords, but nations,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
Flow'rs of thy heart, o God, are they;
Let them not pass, like weeds, away,
Their heritage a sunless day.
God save the people.

Shall crime bring crime forever,
Strength aiding still the strong?
Is it thy will, o Father,
That men shall toil for wrong?
"No", say thy mountains;
"No", say thy skies;
Man's clouded sun shall brightly rise,
And songs be heard instead of sighs.
God save the people.

When wilt thou save the people?
Oh God of mercy when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
God save the people, for thine they are,
Thy children as thy angels fair.
God save the people from despair.
God save the people.
Oh God save the people!
God save the people!
Oh God save the people!
God save the people.
Oh God save the people!
God save the people!
Oh God save the people!

When wilt thou save the people?
O God of mercy when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
God save the people, save us,
For thine they are, for thine they are.
Thy children as thy angels fair:
O, God save the people,
Save the people,
God save the people,
From despair.
God save the people!

God save the people,
O, God save the people,
God save the people,
O, God save the people,
God save the people,
God save the people,
God save the people.

(By the way, my younger daughter took over 200 pictures of our rehearsal last night.  I will post a bunch of Godspell pictures tomorrow or later today!  The one above is from last night...us reaching out to touch Jesus.)

The Gifts of Godspell

I was standing in the church parking lot after bible study this morning with two of my favorite people, my friend Julie and our senior pastor Rob.  Julie and I were sharing with Rob how much fun we are having being part of the cast of Godspell.  He asked us the question "what do you think has made it so special?"

What has made this experience so special?  As I said in my last blog entry about Godspell, the people are the primary answer to the question, for instance, the deepening of friendships with dear ones like Julie.  However, as I reflect on that question, there are even more blessings than that.  One of the things Julie and I identified as bringing us both a great deal of joy is the playfulness of the whole production.  Jesus' "disciples" in the story are meant to be very childlike and innocent.  There is a great deal of silliness in the process of acting out the parables found in Matthew.  Julie and I are on the "older" end of the cast and we agreed that it was very refreshing to get the opportunity to just play.  In the course of the show, I shriek as I am locked in jail, I gasp for air as a plant without enough moisture, I wail like a devil, I baa like a sheep, and crawl around on the floor for a variety of reasons too numerous to mention.  Suffice it to say that I rarely shriek, gasp, wail, baa or crawl around in "real" life.  I also, throughout the play, dance with joy a great deal.  We all do...I do it much more poorly than most.  However, in the context of the play, I feel free to dance with abandon.  Ooooh, that might be it....playing, being silly, singing loudly, dancing poorly....all with abandon.  Not much place in my proper adult world to do very many things with abandon!  I think that must be a big part of the joy of Godspell for me.

Speaking of things done with abandon, the joy of Godspell is also very much tied up with the joy of laughter.  We laugh HARD during our Godspell rehearsals.  We laugh often...almost constantly.  Some of the funniest people that I know are in this cast....Duke, Justin, Sarah, Ellen, Kevin, just to name a few.  Actually, everyone in the cast is hilarious.  Again, where in life do you get the opportunity to laugh for a common purpose...for a "good" cause, if you will.  Laughing regularly is something I am blessed to have in my life outside of Godspell, but the energy and silliness of this setting make it extra special. 

The other thing that has been extraordinary about this experience is watching God use it all for His glory.  We haven't even done the performances for an audience yet, but God has already been showing off!  My favorite gift we have gotten from God in this process has been my new friend, Anne.  Anne came to us as a gift from Sarah initially, but God had bigger plans.  Anne has real-life Broadway and off-Broadway experience, so she actually knows what she is doing much more than many of us do.  Yet, not once has she been the least bit "Diva-ish."  In fact, she is one of the most generous spirited people that I have ever had the pleasure to know.  She is creative, funny, loving, talented and giving.  She and her equally lovely daughter Heidi have contributed costumes, props, puppets and endless ideas and energy.  Best of all, Anne is now going through the New Members class at our church, so we get to "keep" her after the production is over!  I love that God gave us a new member of our family who came to us through a different door than usual. A gift that keeps on giving...I look forward to God growing my new friendship with Anne over the coming weeks and months. This is only one example of how God has expressed His generosity to us through Godspell.

Speaking of God's good gifts, here are the words to the song I have the privilege of singing in our production.  It is a breathtakingly beautiful song...so beautiful that I only have to show up and open my mouth for God to use it to bless those who are listening.  It is very easy to sing these words straight from my heart:

ALL GOOD GIFTS

We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..

But it is fed and watered by God's almighty hand..

He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain...

The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain...

Chorus:

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above

Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love...

We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,

The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,

No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts

But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!

Chorus:

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above..

Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love..

I really wanna thank you Lord!

I wanna thank you, Lord, thank you for all of your love.

Day by Day

This is Godspell week for my daughter and me.  Opening night is Friday and we are completely immersed, buried, obsessed with it.  I can't remember any activity with which I have been involved that has brought me more joy than this production.  I plan to write about Godspell this week here on my blog...mostly as a way to document and remember this experience.  I am already feeling sad that it will be all over on Sunday, but I am trying to delay that grieving and focus instead on savoring the moments that we have left to experience.

As is the case with most of my favorite things in life, the joy of Godspell is all about the people.  Our cast has become like a big family.  I don't have enough theatre experience to know if that is always the case when you work this many hours together on a production, or if this closeness is something special.  The fact that our cast ranges in age from 10 to 50 probably enhances that feeling.  This experience is also unique for me in that my 13 year old daughter and I are doing it together.  After 10 or so years of cheering her on during dance recitals, music performances and sporting events, I am actually having the opportunity to enter the experience with her and be on her "team."  It is something I will treasure forever.  We have to be careful when we are at home with her dad and sister not to speak a special Godspell "language" that only we can understand...talking incessantly of this funny thing from rehearsal or what we thought of that particular scene.  Someday, I hope I will have the chance to experience something similar with my younger daughter.

The older teenagers that I have gotten to know during these months of rehearsal have calmed any fears that I might have had about the upcoming adolescent years with my girls.  They are all precious... smart, funny, polite, committed, responsible...each of them a pleasure to know.  The two young men that play the main roles, Jesus and Judas, are two of the nicest kids I have ever met.  Boys of 16-17 are often not seen in the best light...Garrett and Nick renew my faith.  They are both incredibly gifted actors and musicians, but more importantly, they are kind, giving, responsible young men.  It has been my absolute pleasure to watch them make these roles their own. 

Most of these young people had way more theatre experience that I did going into this production and I have learned so much from watching them.  Our director, Zoe, is their drama teacher at the high school and she is my absolute hero.  She probably spends more time with these kids than they spend with their parents and she doesn't take that responsiblity lightly.  Watching her work with them, work with all of us, has been one of the great joys of this process.  Clearly, she is interested in the final product that we are trying to create, but even more clear is her committment to each of those kids as growing human beings.  Harnessing the energy of a bunch of theatrical kids, teens and adults takes a very special person and we are blessed to have found that person in Zoe.

I wish I could say a little something about each member of the cast and I wish I could tell you why every song from the show is special....we'll see how much time and energy I have this week for writing!  For today, a good place to end is with the lyrics to the song Day by Day.  Being that I am a big fan of bumper sticker theology, you can't get much simpler and clearer about our walk with Jesus than this song that is sung early in the show.  In our production, it is sung by a lovely young lady named Sammy.  I have had the privilege of watching Sammy grow up in our church....she was probably around 9 or 10 when I first met her.  She is 16 or so now and she is every parent's dream for their daughter.  Beautiful, but not in an affected, overly self-conscious way....smart and comfortable with adults, but always with respect....stong and sure in her faith, but in a way that draws the other teens in, not alienating them with self-righteousness or religiousity.  I believe it is because of Sammy that the "non-church" kids in our cast felt comfortable joining a church production.  She is a natural leader that even we adults felt comfortable following.  Sammy was the perfect choice to sing this song because she exudes the combination of innocence and maturity that this song seeks to communicate.  

Day by day
Day by day
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day

You can't get much simpler and clearer than that.  With each new day, open my eyes to Your glory, open my heart to love You more, show me the path to follow You...Lord, hear our prayer!

New Wineskins?

As many of you, my dear readers, are well aware, the Presbyterian Church USA has been the center of a good deal of controversy in recent years.  Many faithful Presbyterians have been devastated by decisions made by the General Assembly regarding ordination standards, doctrinal statements and departure from what they believe to be the basic tenets of the Reformed faith.  Many PCUSA churches have been struggling with how to respond to these changes.  Out of this discontent, an organization of almost 200 Presbyterian churches has joined together to create the New Wineskins Association of Churches (NWAC.)  I just learned about this organization yesterday and have spent several hours reading about them today.  I won't go into all the details, but here are several resources if you want to read more: New Wineskins website, Presbyweb.com and The Presbyterian Outlook.

The NWAC had a two-day conference this past week where they outlined a strategy for these like-minded churches to leave the PCUSA.  Again, check the above referenced sites for details if this is even remotely interesting to you.  The short version is that the strategy they propose would involve an alignment/ partnership with another Presbyterian denomination called the Evangelical Presbyterian Church (EPC.)  The EPC is a small group of approximately 180 churches who became a denomination in 1981.  The NWAC plan is to form a transitional non-geographical New Wineskins Presbytery within the EPC for a period of 5 years (frankly, I'm not clear on what happens at the end of the 5 years.) Again, if you are interested in more details, you can read the whole thing here (click on Strategy Team Report.)

Enough history...here's my issue (you knew that I had to have an issue, didn't you?)  Based on everything that I read today, including the New Wineskins Strategy Team Report, the EPC has some "issues" around the ordination of women as deacons, elders and ministers.  To be more specific, they believe it is up to each church to determine whether to ordain women as officers and up to each presbytery to determine whether to ordain women as Ministers of Word and Sacrament.  They call this type of ordination standard "Local Option."  Again, based on the reading I have done so far, it seems that most EPC churches do NOT believe it is biblical to ordain women as officers and ministers and therefore choose the option to not do so.  They believe that the ordination of women is a non-essential issue and therefore, we can just agree to disagree and still love one another and serve God together.

Here's the part that confuses me; the same people who were VERY upset by the "local option" for the ordination of homosexuals now seem to be OK with this same ordination standard for women.  "Agreeing to disagree" in terms of homosexual ordination was seen as tantamount to endorsing homosexual ordination.   In fact, this was one of the biggest issues for many who now seek to leave the PCUSA. As a layperson, I was under the impression that "local option" was a bad word....that local option meant we were copping out and couldn't decide what we believed...that local option meant we were allowing our core beliefs to be highjacked by extremists within the faith.   Although the NWAC maintains that they believe the ordination of women is biblical, they seem to be comfortable aligning themselves with a denominational structure that allows the option of relegating women back to a position as second class citizens in doing the work of the Kingdom. 

Despite my concerns, much of the material that I read about NWAC was wonderful.  They are trying to be faithful to the direction in which God is leading them and make the best of a very difficult situation.  Despite my concerns, much of the material that I read about the EPC was also wonderful.  They too are trying to be faithful to God's leading and attempting to strengthen the Kingdom by providing their PCUSA brothers and sisters(?) with a viable option.  That is what makes this so confusing.

So far, one whole day into this discussion, I just can't get past this "ordination of women" hurdle.  Would a church who decided to join the NWAC and leave the PCUSA to be part of this New Wineskins Presbytery of the EPC not be giving tacit approval to those who seek to discriminate against women in the ministry?  What if the EPC held to a "local option" standard for the ordination of black men....would it still be OK to align ourselves with them?  Clearly, that would be wrong...a deal-breaker for sure!!  Do we not feel as strongly about the biblical basis for the ordination of women?  Could we just overlook that one little thing in order to make this work?   If we do, aren't we compromising our core beliefs all over again?  Maybe we will change them from within the system...maybe our influence will convince them of the "error of their ways."  But, if we believe that is possible, wouldn't we want to stay and try to be that influence within the PCUSA?  What if a church is made up of people who have a variety of beliefs on a variety of issues?  How would that church determine what their "essential" and "non-essential" issues are then?  As a family with two daughters, could we in good conscience be part of a denomination that may or may not support our girls if they felt God calling them to the ministry?  What are our "essential" and "non-essential" issues in terms of our faith?

Just some thoughts on the future of the PCUSA on a day when I am stuck at home with a sick kid....pray for my baby girl, she has the flu!  We are all on Tamiflu at our house in an attempt avoid spreading it around.  We are also expecting a huge ice storm, so I may have a lot of time to read and write in the next few days!

I wonder what Jesus thinks of all this (the church stuff, not the flu...I feel quite certain He is firmly against the flu :-)