Seeking Him

Mutiny Against Excess- Week 1

We are rich.  There really is no way around it.  By every definition of the word, we are rich.  We own two houses and 4 cars.  We go on nice vacations, eat out often and buy anything we want at the grocery store.  We give to a number of organizations, including our church, and have been able to save for college and retirement.  We live in a safe community with wonderful schools.  Our kids have had every advantage that money can buy.  I am grateful for the Lord's provision and my husband's hard work.

Last month, I read a book called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  As I told my friends on Facebook, it rocked my world.  You should read the book to really understand, but essentially Jen and to some degree her family looked at their life of relative wealth and decided to dig a little deeper.  To do that, she looked at some of the excess in her life of affluence and decided to do an intentional "fast" in 7 different areas: food, clothing, possessions, media, waste, spending, and stress.  She fasted for a month in each area and wrote about her experience and what God taught her in the process.  In the study guide that she published later, she suggests a week long "fast" in each area for those who were intrigued enough by her experience to go deeper themselves.  That is what my friends and I are going to do for Lent.  

FYI, my family thinks I'm crazy.  

Let's take a detour for a minute and talk about what a fast is.  One definition I read was "fasting is an intentional reduction, a deliberate abstinence to summon God's movement in our lives.  A fast creates margin for God to move."  Another definition said "it is exchanging the needs of the physical body for those of the spiritual."  God talks about His ideas of fasting in Isaiah 58.  When Jesus brings it up, He says "when you fast," making the assumption that we will be doing so.  

SO, we begin this week, as Lent officially begins on Wednesday.  This week, we examine our relationship with food.  In the book, Jen picked 7 foods that she would eat exclusively for one month.  Our group decided that each of us would decide for ourselves what our "fast" would look like this week. 

Back to my wealthy lifestyle.  We have loads of food in our house.  Pantry is full.  2 freezers are full.  One refrigerator full, the other partly full.  We buy food that we end up throwing away because it goes bad.  I have thrown out things in my pantry that were 2 years past the expiration date.  Some evenings, I look in the refrigerator, don't feel like thinking/cooking and go out for fast food instead.  I don't actually know what a gallon of milk costs anymore because I know I can afford it.  We are privileged that we have never for one day known what it feels like to go hungry

But the abundance, and the opportunity for excess, is internal as well as external.  Like most of us, I often eat when I'm not hungry.  I indulge a passing craving, the bag of chips catches my eye, Steve leaves a bag of candy on the counter (clearly, that one is his fault.)  A handful of this, a spoonful of that...many times eating that has little to do with the real purpose of food which includes, in my opinion, nourishing our body and living and celebrating in community.  My relationship with food may be symptomatic of a deeper condition that plagues our culture: I want, what I want, when I want it.

I read this scripture this morning from 1 Peter 4: 2 (The Message:)

Think of your sufferings as a weaning from the old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way.  Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.

For me, much of the excess in my life, in all the areas mentioned, is based in that "old sinful habit" of expecting to get my own way.  I want what I want now- so I buy, eat, listen to, watch, sign up for, do- what I want now.  

Don't get me wrong.  The food or other stuff we buy or do is not in and of itself the problem. The problem lies in the priority, power and purpose it has in my life.  I am often overwhelmed by the clutter...of things, choices, possessions, information overload...with which I am inundated every day.  

How can I hear God's voice amidst the noise?

I've thought about this food fast all weekend while I was in New York with a group of kids eating out every meal.  With two daughters watching, I have been very careful about never getting legalistic about food.  Food is one of life's great pleasures and I believe God meant for us to enjoy it....every holy day He established included feasts after all!  Food is for nourishment certainly, but sharing meals is often the setting where we celebrate our time with the ones we love most.  On our trip this weekend, it was during the meals that I got to really get to know the people with whom I was traveling.  Food is a blessing and I want my fast to reflect that.  For that reason, my fast this week will be about trying to put food back into its proper place.  For this week, I will only eat nourishing foods, no snacking, no grazing.  I will eat slowly, in a chair, only at meal time, and when possible, with other people.  No sugar, no junk food, no fast food.  In addition, I will clean out the pantry and the freezers with all the excess stuff and either cook it or take it to the food pantry.  

I'll let you know at the end of the week how it goes!

Pet Squirrels and Storytellers

I have a five year old friend who started Kindergarten last week.  As part of the "getting to know you" activities, she shared with her new class that she had a pet squirrel at home.  She described the squirrel with such enthusiasm and in such detail that her teacher decided to check with mom to see if perhaps they had indeed tamed a squirrel!   Mom responded that it would be in the teacher's best interests to confirm the veracity of any "larger than life" stories she might hear this year with her; my five year old friend has what some might call a "vivid imagination."  As the youngest of 5, that imagination and creativity has been nurtured and encouraged, as well it should.  The story made me smile and it brought back wonderful memories of my own little storyteller.

When my friend shared the tale of the pet squirrel with me, I recalled that I had had the exact same conversation with my youngest child's Kindergarten teacher.  In fact, I am pretty sure I had it with most of her early elementary school teachers, although these flights of imagination began long before she started elementary school.  When she was 2, she would begin her tales with "Once upon at time, there were two wittle dirls..."  For those who don't speak toddler, that would be "little girls' because the adventures always starred two little girls suprisingly similar to the two that lived in our house.   When she was a little older, her stories often included her alter ego "Fireball" who was a boy and something of a super hero.  Fireball had many adventures and always conquered the bad guys in the end.  Sometimes, when she arrived downstairs in a certain outfit, we knew that my daughter had temporarily left the building and Fireball had taken her place. Eventually, Fireball outgrew his special super hero clothes and we had to rely on our imagination to conjur his presence.  

Fast forward 10 or 12 years and "Fireball" has become a lovely young woman who is still a gifted teller of stories.  Whether on a stage or on the page, her creativity and imagination continues to delight her unabashedly biased mother.  She paints pictures with words and makes me laugh with her zany way of looking at the world.  I have no idea what God's plans are for her in terms of a vocation, but I have no doubt that it will somehow have something to do with telling good stories and I feel quite certain that she will be successful.  The world needs more good storytellers.

We love stories.  Books, movies, plays...even the commercials to which we only give cursory attention...people universally love to hear a good story.  Stories engage us at our most creative and imaginative level.  We picture ourselves in the role of the hero and we conquer our greatest fears and insecurities as we lose ourselves in the struggle to defeat the forces of evil.   The power of a good story is the power to influence and change minds and hearts.  It is why I love books and it is why I love theatre.

I am reading a book right now called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller.  Mr. Miller is best known for his best-selling book "Blue Like Jazz," one of my all-time favorites.  In this book I am reading now, he talks about the power of a good story as he recounts the process of turning his book "Blue Like Jazz"- a memoir of his own life- into a movie.  In the process, he explores what makes a story a good story.  Along the way, he decides that a good story is about a "character that wants something and is willing to overcome obstacles to get it."  He then goes on to discover that his real life isn't really telling a very good story and sets out to change that.  I haven't finished the book yet; I'll let you know if he succeeds.  I saw on his website that he has a new book coming out this week called "Storylines," so I bet he does. :-)

Anyway (and yes, I know I am rambling a bit here) I have been thinking more about stories and what makes a good story and whether my life is telling a good story.  If I am the main character in my story, what is it that I want and, perhaps more importantly, am I willing to overcome obstacles to get it?  And, as a follower of Jesus, whose life is arguably the greatest story every told, how does His story impact my life's story?  

I think I will leave us there for today because this is getting long and I have a meeting to attend tonight. We will let this marinate a little longer and see what comes of it.

What do you think of this definition of a good story?  What kind of story is your life telling?

And yes, my dear friend, I do think your pet squirrel story would make a great blog!

 

God Speaks

I read the excerpt below in one of my favorite devotional books this morning.  In the busyness of the end of school activities and preparations for our mission trip next week, it was just the reminder I needed today. God is speaking all the time; it is His nature to do so.  I am in the right place...I am connecting with that which is in MY nature...when I remember to listen for His voice.

"I speak to you continually.  My nature is to communicate, though not always in words.  I fling glorious sunsets across the sky, day after day after day.  I speak in the faces and voices of loved ones.  I caress you with a gentle breeze that refreshes and delights you.  I speak softly in the depths of your spirit, where I have taken up residence.

You can find Me in each moment, when you have eyes that see and ears that hear.  Ask My Spirit to sharpen your spiritual eyesight and hearing.  I rejoice each time you discover My Presence.  Practice looking and listening for Me during quiet intervals.  Gradually you will find Me in more and more of your moments.  You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me above all else."

My prayer for all of us today.  Amen!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." ~Saint Teresa of Avila

I posted the quote above as my Facebook status one day last week and was interested to see how many people responded positively to it.  Since then, I have been thinking about what it means to be Christ's hands and feet on earth.  Clearly, this idea resonates with people, but how do we go about doing it?

It seems to me that we might begin to "be" Christ's hands and feet by considering how Jesus used his hands and feet while He was walking among us.  Jesus, God Incarnate, lived on earth in human form and, before He returned to the Father, promised that we who had faith in Him would do "greater things than these." (John 14:12) Through the writers of scripture, we have a record of the way Jesus lived out His earthly existence and these stories offer us clues on how we might continue His work.  

First, Jesus knew that He had to spend time with the Father in order to know where to go and what to do next. Throughout the gospels, we hear that Jesus often "withdrew to a solitary place" in order to hear from His Heavenly Father.  Jesus says this in John 5:19 (the Message):

I'm telling you this straight.  The Son can't independently do a thing, only what He sees the Father doing.  What the Father does, the Son does.  The Father loves the Son and includes Him in everything He is doing.  

If Jesus needed down time with His Father, how much more must that apply to us?  I have found that even my most well-intentioned attempts to do God's will are useless unless I regularly "withdraw to a solitary place" to listen to my Father. Through time in His word, sharing my heart in prayer AND being still enough to listen, I begin to see the path God has for me to get involved in what He is doing in my little part of His world.  Without that time, I find that I am often tilting at windmills.

Secondly, Jesus was willing to be interrupted as He went about the work the Father had given Him to do.  Most of the accounts that we have of Jesus interacting with people and performing miracles begin with a phrase like "as Jesus went on from there."  He was often traveling to another destination when someone approached Him in need of healing.  While His disciples often tried to discourage or deter these seekers, Jesus always had time for the people who crossed His path.  Jesus was all about relationship.  In these instances, He made the choice to stop and offer healing and care to the persons involved.  Because He was not overly tied to His agenda of the moment, He could attend to the higher purposes for which He was sent.  In our own lives, we similarly have the choice to view the unexpected, the unplanned and the inconvenient interruptions we encounter as precious opportunities for ministry....divine appointments to realize our own role in bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven.  

Third, Jesus was willing to get His hands dirty.  One of my favorite stories about Jesus was the time He chose to wash the feet of His disciples in order to teach them about being a servant.  In their culture, washing dirty feet was the lowliest of jobs, yet Jesus got on His knees and tenderly washed and dried the dust-covered feet of those He loved most and then entreated them to do the same in His name.  In fact, He said clearly in John 13:15  "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."  As I seek to find the "important" work that I can do in God's Kingdom, I sometimes overlook the opportunities for smaller acts of service...acts that become holy when done from a place of love and grace and gratitude.  Life is messy.  People are complicated.  Getting our hands dirty; literally or figuratively, requires a willingness to get involved in the middle of the mess and complications.  Yet, that is exactly what Jesus has called us to do.  I have written on this before and I quoted this song from Michael Card in its entirety.  Here is my favorite part:

And the space between ourselves sometimes
is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
we take up the basin and the towel.

Finally, if we are to truly become Jesus' hands and feet, we must share His love for "the least of these."  This is the hard part of the gospel message for us sometimes.  Jesus was revolutionary in His approach to the downtrodden and forgotten in His society.  He touched lepers, He welcomed women and children, He dined with criminals, He championed the poor, He defended the powerless.  Jesus spent His time on earth with the hated and the outcasts and claimed that He had come to "preach good news to the poor."  There are a number of examples of this in scripture.  Here are just a few:

• He tells of a rich man and a poor one, and how the poor man goes to heaven and the rich man doesn’t.(Luke 16:19-31)  
• He tells of others who’ll be surprised they didn’t get into paradise because they didn’t take care of Him when He was hungry or in prison. They object that they never saw Him that way; He replies that whenever they neglected the hungry or imprisoned or unclothed, they neglected Him (Matthew 25.)  
• He says it’s harder for a rich person to enter heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle. He tells a rich man only one thing is between him and the Kingdom: he needs to sell what he has and give it to the poor (Mark 10:17-31.)
  

While Jesus came to reconcile us ALL to the Father, He is clear that He expects us to take care of one another and to begin with "the least of these."  God does not call all of us to sell everything we have and give it all to the poor, but He does call us to get involved and allow Him to show us how.  If I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I have to open my eyes to the suffering in the world and allow my heart to be broken by those things that break the heart of the Father.  Because there is so much brokenness in our world, I can become overwhelmed by the need and throw my hands up in despair.  I recently read a book that addressed these issues in a profound way and gave me hope for the Church.  Please read it, if this topic tugs at your heart.  It is called The Hole in Our Gospel. Bottom line: we each can make a difference and it matters that we try...God is at work in the world and we can be part of it.  We can be the hands and feet of Jesus in our part of the world...what a privilege!

Whose To-Do List?

What a glorious day!  I have been sitting in the backyard this morning, soaking up the sunshine after several rainy, cool days.  The flowers in my yard are gorgeous after all the rain; you can almost see them growing and stretching in the warmth of this morning's sun.  The birdfeeders are full and the birds, after a few minutes, decided to ignore me and go about their business as usual, allowing me the pleasure of watching them from my seat nearby.  Truly, a beautiful morning to be alive.  As I enjoyed the beauty of God's creations, I spent some quiet time in the additional company of a few of my favorite devotionals and God's Word.  One of the devotionals that I read regularly is called Jesus Calling.  I read several passages this morning, but one of them particularly spoke to me, so I thought I would share it here.  The passages in this devotional are all written in the first person, as if Jesus were speaking directly to us.  Here is the entry from May 6, followed by the suggested scriptures:

Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life.  If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace.  But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list.  The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.

There is a better way to find security in this life.  Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you.  This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace.  Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not.  Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but what is unseen (My Presence). 

Isaiah 26:3 , 2 Corinthians 4:18

This really struck a chord with me.  I don't know about you, but there are a million things on my list of things that I need to/ should do.  Some are things that I hope to do today (get my filthy car washed, empty the dishwasher, run a load of laundry, return a phone call, etc.) and some are things that hang over my head that I need to do "sometime" (clean out the file cabinet, reorganize the playroom, get frames for the posters I want to hang, call that long-distance friend to re-connect etc.)  Sometimes I successfully stay on top of the first list, but there is always that nagging feeling that I am never quite finished.  As the devotional suggested, the sense of always living in a place of "not quite finished" can rob me of peace. Peace that Jesus says is my birthright in Him (John 16:33) 

I love the message of this little devotional.  Essentially, it is asking me to examine from whose to-do list I am operating?  Whose agenda am I following?  Mine, my spouse, my kids, my friends? Who or what owns the key to my peace?  Clearly, we all have responsibilities that we need to honor and work that needs doing, yet I am freed by the idea that resting, walking, living, abiding in God's Presence can help me determine a better way. And, it seems to me, that consulting God's to-do list allows me the opportunity to contribute to His Kingdom, to join in His work, to be part of something bigger.  As I get a little further along on this journey with the Lord, I am learning to anticipate the adventure of holding onto my own agenda a little more loosely.  When I am willing to be interrupted as I work through my "list," I often find that God has something much more wonderful planned for my day. And strangely enough, when I abide in Him, I tend to get done the things that really need doing.

Feed My Sheep

While we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago, I read a fabulous book.  While any book is fairly fabulous when read by the ocean :-), this one really captured my attention and has continued to simmer beneath the surface for me.  The book is called Take this Bread: A Radical Conversion and it was written by author Sara Miles.  

Having grown up in the church, I am increasingly interested in what draws people to the Christian walk later in their lives...what about Jesus is compelling for them?  How does "the church" help in that process of drawing someone to Jesus and how, as it so often does, does the church get in the way?   Sara was a completely secular person who wandered into a church at the age of 46, took communion and fell in love with Jesus.  Her life up to that point, while fascinating and full of adventure (war coorespondent/ freedom fighter/ chef,) did not in any way seem to be that of a person who would be drawn to the traditional church.  Yet, her journey to a life-transforming, world-changing walk with Jesus happened...in spite of her own biases against the church and, frankly, the church's biases against her.  I was taken with her sense of humor, her humility and her tremendous insights into what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ in a broken world.  Most of all, I was moved by her passion for the Lord and her compassion for His children.

Sara's faith journey eventually leads her to open up a food pantry for the "least of these" in an impoverished, multi-cultural neighborhood in San Francisco.  What she learned about herself, her God and her fellow human beings resonated with me on many levels; both in terms of my own love for and frustrations with the church and, more recently, with my life changing experiences at the Lamb Center.  Here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

"Caught up in the moment, every moment, I didn't know that those war years would be formative Christian experiences.  They would introduce me not only to big Christian themes--love, death, fear, and sacrifice among them--but to hard lessons about what it means to be a Christian.  Long before I went to church or ran a food pantry, wars would reveal my weaknesses and mistakes---sins, to use a word that never occurred to me then---and make me find a way to continue working, past shame.  They showed me how helpless I was to save anyone, or to fix suffering, and how it mattered anyway for me to be there with people.  I'd have to learn to receive when I was proud and give when I was burned-out and poke around in strange places without knowing what I was going to uncover."

"...I didn't 'deserve' communion myself now.  I wasn't getting it because I was good.  I wasn't getting it because I was special.  I certainly didn't get to pick who else was good enough, holy enough, deserving enough, to receive it.  It wasn't a private meal.  The bread on that Table had to be shared with everyone in order for me to really taste it....I was not going to get to sit by myself and think loftily about how much Jesus loved me in particular.  I was not going to get to have dinner, eternally, with people just like me. I was going to get communion, whether I wanted it or not, with people I didn't necessarily like.  People I didn't choose...but, the people who God chose for me.      I ate the bread.    Conversion isn't, after all, a moment: It's a process, and it keeps happening, with cycles of acceptance and resistance, epiphany and doubt."

"You can't be a Christian by yourself was a lesson I though I'd grasped...but the conceit of individual salvation remained a powerfully tempting one.  Offering groceries to all comers around the altar, I would discover how painfully like church the food pantry really was: how it asked me to leave the certainties of past behind, tangled me up with people I didn't particularly want to know, and frightened me with its demand for more that I was ready to give."

"I think we are called to something harder than being conventional 'Good Samaritans.'  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, being rescued by strangers and foreigners, by the wrong people.  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, as beaten, hungry, hurting, lost at the side of the road.  Called to touch the parts of ourselves that are strange and damaged and needy.  Called to receive love from people we don't know and have no reason to trust.  And only then, in turn, being called to the second part: to go and do the same thing---knowing it will change us in ways we didn't plan and may not like."

"All of it pointed to a force stronger than the anxious formulas of religion: a radically inclusive love that accompanied people in the most ordinary of actions--eating, drinking, walking--and stayed with them through fear, even past death.  That love meant giving yourself away, embracing outsiders as family, emptying yourself to feed and live for others.  The stories illuminated the holiness located in mortal human bodies, and the promise that people could see God by cherishing all those different bodies the way God did.  They spoke of a communion so much vaster than any church could contain: one I had sensed all my life could be expressed in the sharing of food, particularly with strangers. 

I couldn't stop think about another story: Jesus instructed his beloved, fallible disciple Peter exactly how to love Him: 'Feed my sheep.'  Jesus asked, 'Do you love me?'  Peter fussed: 'Of course I love you.'  'Feed my sheep'  Peter fussed some more.  'Do you love me?' asked Jesus again.  'Then feed my sheep.'

It seemed pretty clear.  If I wanted to see God, I could feed people."

Helping, Fixing, Serving

I can't believe that it has been almost a  month since I have posted an entry.  Ideas run through my mind all the time, but I can't seem to make it to the computer to share them here.  The Lord is good and continues to show Himself to me in so many ways.  We are headed to the ocean for vacation for Spring Break and I am hoping to find some time to write while there.  Sitting by the sea always inspires reflection for me.

Probably the most meaningful facet of my life that God has given me this year is the opportunity to serve at the Lamb Center each week.  I see God's presence there so powerfully and I am humbled that He has called me to be part of that community.  Isn't it interesting that the things that mean the most to us can often be the most difficult to describe to others? 

I read this essay by Rachel Naomi Remen in our Lamb Center policy manual.  While I would use the words "Kingdom of God" where she uses the terms "wholeness and mystery of life," her reflections about the nature of service and how it feeds the spirit of the server resonate so profoundly for me.  The truths found in the essay below beautifully describe the service that I see happening at the Lamb Center; a way of seeing life and living life to which I aspire. This season, learning to live life as a servant of the King in all aspects of my life...home, friendships, church, as well as volunteer work...is the focus of God's teaching and guidance to me.  As it says below, service comes from a place of gratitude, not obligation.  I hope you find the words below as meaningful as I did. 

In the Service of Life
In recent years the question how can I help? has become meaningful to many people. But perhaps there is a deeper question we might consider. Perhaps the real question is not how can I help? but how can I serve?

Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality; it is not a relationship between equals. When you help you use your own strength to help those of lesser strength. If I'm attentive to what's going on inside of me when I'm helping, I find that I'm always helping someone who's not as strong as I am, who is needier than I am. People feel this inequality. When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity and wholeness. When I help I am very aware of my own strength. But we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all of our experiences. Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our darkness can serve. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals.

Helping incurs debt. When you help someone they owe you one. But serving, like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.

Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person I perceive them as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I fix I do not see the wholeness in the other person or trust the integrity of the life in them. When I serve I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am responding to and collaborating with.

There is distance between ourselves and whatever or whomever we are fixing. Fixing is a form of judgment. All judgment creates distance, a disconnection, an experience of difference. In fixing there is an inequality of expertise that can easily become a moral distance. We cannot serve at a distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that which we are willing to touch. This is Mother Teresa's basic message. We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.

If helping is an experience of strength, fixing is an experience of mastery and expertise. Service, on the other hand, is an experience of mystery, surrender and awe. A fixer has the illusion of being causal. A server knows that he or she is being used and has a willingness to be used in the service of something greater, something essentially unknown. Fixing and helping are very personal; they are very particular, concrete and specific. We fix and help many different things in our lifetimes, but when we serve we are always serving the same thing. Everyone who has ever served through the history of time serves the same thing. We are servers of the wholeness and mystery in life.

The bottom line, of course, is that we can fix without serving. And we can help without serving. And we can serve without fixing or helping. I think I would go so far as to say that fixing and helping may often be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul. They may look similar if you're watching from the outside, but the inner experience is different. The outcome is often different, too.

Our service serves us as well as others. That which uses us strengthens us. Over time, fixing and helping are draining, depleting. Over time we burn out. Service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will sustain us.

Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. Fundamentally, helping, fixing and service are ways of seeing life. When you help you see life as weak, when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Lastly, fixing and helping are the basis of curing, but not of healing. In 40 years of chronic illness I have been helped by many people and fixed by a great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service heals.

Seriously, you have to go read this...

I have referred you guys to my sister-in-law's blog before, but you really have to go visit again.  Read the one entitled "Hairy Armpits."  It may be the funniest thing that I have ever read.  And yes, those would be my brother's hairy armpits that caught on fire (I knew that would get you there.)  I also think the one called "It is What it Is" is fabulous as well.  Oh heck, just read them all.

The Shack

I have another great book to recommend to all of you.  I just finished reading a novel called The Shack by William P. Young.  I absolutely loved it!  The first 80 or so pages moved a little slow for me, as the author attempted to set the stage for the main focus of the book.  However, once we were into the heart of the story, I found that I chose to read it slowly to savor the richness and the beauty of the picture that the author was painting.  I don't want to give anything away, but essentially the book details a fictional account of a man's up close and personal encounter with God after a tragedy has occurred in his life. 

Sometimes, I like to read a different translation of a familiar bible verse, so that I can really hear what the verse says.  Having heard it in that particular translation many times before, the truth becomes buried in the familiar cadence of the words.  Reading The Shack was like reading the story of the God who loves me in a different translation than I had ever heard it before.  Looking through a different lense, I was deeply moved as I was reminded once again that God is "particularly fond of me" and pursues, but will never demand, an intimate relationship with me.  The author turns traditional religious stereotypes upside down in his depiction of the three members of the holy trinity and some readers might find this unsettling.  For me, it broadened and deepened the biblical perspective with which I am familiar and reminds me that we can never fully understand that which we have no frame of reference to grasp.  God is too big to keep in our little man-made boxes. I like that Mr. Young created a work of art that speaks to our heart, yet doesn't avoid dealing with the some of the very hardest questions of our faith.

I can't say anymore without spoiling it.  Read it and then let me know what you think!  And to my mom's friend Yvonne who took my hands in hers, looked me in the eye and said "you must read The Shack," I say thank you so much!!  Papa is especially fond of you!

Same Kind of Different As Me

I stayed up until 2:00 this morning reading one of the best books that I have ever read.  I couldn't put it down.  I read a lot of books and this was probably the most beautiful story I have ever had the privilege of reading.  I haven't stopped thinking about it all day.  It is a true story called "Same Kind of Different As Me" and you have to read it.  Truly, here is the Amazon link.  Go buy it right now.  That is all that I am going to say.

It's The Beautiful Things That Get Us

I am reading a new book right now....actually, I am simultaneously reading several good books right now...but this one is particularly thought-provoking during our current focus on our country's future leadership.  The book is called Jesus for President.  I am only about a third of the way into it, but found this excerpt from Section I to be quite powerful:

Its the beautiful things that get us.  Perhaps the greatest seduction is not the ANTI-GOD, but the ALMOST GOD.  Poisonous fruit can look pretty tasty.  Thats what is so dangerous about ideas like FREEDOM, PEACE and JUSTICE.  They are all seductive qualities, close to the heart of GOD.  After all, its the beautiful things we kill and die for.  And it's the beautiful we market, exploit, brand, and counterfeit.

WE FIND OURSELVES POSSESSED BY OUR POSSESSIONS...and enslaved by the pursuit of freedom.  Nations fighting for peace and perpetuating the very violence they seek to destroy.  Serpents are slippery and slimy things.

MOST of the ugliness in the human narrative comes from a distorted quest to possess beauty.  COVETING begins with appreciating blessings, MURDER begins with a hunger for justice.  LUST begins with a recognition of beauty.  GLUTTONY begins when our enjoyment of the delectable gifts of GOD starts to consume us.  IDOLATRY begins when our seeing a reflection of God in something beautiful leads to our thinking that the beautiful image bearer is worthy of WORSHIP.

 

I'm Still Here

Look!  It's my blog!  Yes, I'm still here.  I can't believe that I haven't written once in the month of November.  Life is busy....good, but busy.  For some reason, I am not making the time to blog lately and I miss it.  I was just spending some time reading some of the blogs that I most frequently visit and found a line that I loved over at don't eat alone.  His blog is one of my very favorites.  When I grow up, I want to be able to write like Milton.  Anyway, he is in the middle of a move and yesterday's post had this line in it:

The longer I live, the more I trust that grace means I’m not required to prove myself before God, or anyone else, in order to be loved.

For some reason, that thought really blessed me.  And, I believe it to be true.  Part of the work that Katie and I have done in our online retreat in recent weeks is to look at the patterns in our life that keep us from true freedom...the kind of freedom that Christ promises us.  One of the paths to freedom for me is to really grasp the fact that I don't have to prove myself.  I know that in Christ I am completely loved...thoroughly and totally loved...yet sometimes I still act as if I need to prove myself in order to win the love and approval of others and, in all honesty, of God.  The energy expended in trying to prove ourselves smart, capable, worthy and good is exhausting.  And we don't have to do it.  I don't have to do it.

The longer I live, the more I trust that grace means I am free to just be me.  No more, no less.  The person that I am right now, the person that God is still working on transforming, the person that God loves madly, deeply, truly right now.  I don't have to prove anything to you.  But, perhaps with that same grace that has been extended to me, you can feel safe knowing that you don't have anything to prove to me either. 

To Go on Trying

As I mentioned to you here, one of the authors that I have been enjoying lately is Frederick Buechner.  This morning I was reading and ran across the quote below.  It fits in so beautifully with the thoughts that I was having about Pastor Neil's sermon on Sunday.  Again, the message God is telling me is to simplify.  K.I.S.S, Keep It Simple Stupid....although God usually doesn't call me stupid (even when I am behaving stupidly!)

We try so hard as Christians.  We think such long thoughts, manipulate such long words, and both listen to and preach such long sermons.  Each one of us somewhere, somehow, has known, if only for a moment or so, something of what it is to feel the shattering love of God, and once that has happened, we can never rest easy again for trying somehow to set that love forth not only in words, myriads of words, but in our lives themselves.  And when, as must always happen, we sometimes give up this trying either because for a moment it seems unreal or because we are tired or bored or because we forget or choose to forget, we cannot even enjoy our moment's release for the sense of failure that chokes us.  This is of course as it should be.  Fruitless and destructive as so much of our trying must always be, and tormented as we are by knowing this and by beholding the shallowness and duplicity of our motives, we have scarcely any choice but to go on trying no matter what, and there is much that is beautiful and brave and true about it.  Yet we must remember this other word too: "Unless you turn and become like children...."

Isn't it a relief to find out that we all struggle with the same things?  Clearly, it is in our wiring to flounder about aimlessly when we attempt to leave ourselves to our own devices.  It is only in those moments that we flop down onto our knees and admit our total helplessness without Him that God can begin to work His awesome, transforming power in us.  Why do I keep forgetting that?

Thoughts from Frederick Buechner

My mom gave me two books by Frederick Buechner for my birthday last week.  Buechner is one of those authors of whom I knew little, only that all my favorite authors quoted him and referenced him.  He was on my list of authors to check out one day and then two books arrived in the mail!!  My mom is fabulous that way and she has this wonderful pastor at her church with whom I apparently have similar tastes...although I have only met him briefly, he has referred me to several of my favorite authors through her.  Thanks, Ben!

I am off to see my brother and my extremely pregnant sister-in-law today, so I only have a minute.  They have a new boat and two sons, 4 and 6.  I see much to entertain us there!  Because the personality tests are even more self-indulgent than my usual self-centered blog entries, I felt the need to get something of a bit more substance on the blog today.

I am currently reading a collection of Buechner's works called "Listening to Your Life."  It is meant to be a daily devotional type book, but I am reading straight through.  I am in April, but somehow I've read most of October as well....go figure.  Anyway, here are a few gems to whet your appetite.  I love him!

"Theology is the study of God and His ways.  For all we know, dung beetles may study man and his ways and call it humanology.  If so, we would probably be more touched and amused than irritated.  One hopes that God feels likewise."

"If the world is sane, then Jesus is mad as a hatter and the Last Supper is the Mad Tea Party.  The world says, Mind your own business, and Jesus says, There is no such thing as your own business.  The world says, Follow the wisest course and be a success, and Jesus says, Follow me and be crucified.  The world says, Drive carefully--the life you save may be your own--and Jesus says, Whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  The world says, Get and Jesus says, Give.  In terms of the world's sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he can follow Him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under a cross than under a delusion."

"But instead of feeling any pride or sense of superior accomplishment by the comparison, I remember a great and unheralded rush of something like sadness, almost like shame.  I had been very lucky, and he had not been very lucky, and the pleasure that I might have taken in what had happened to me was all but lost in the realization that nothing comparable, as far as I could see, had happened to him.--------All I can say now is that something small but unforgettable happened inside of me as the result of that chance meeting---some small flickering out of the truth that, in the long run, there can be no real joy for anybody until there is joy finally for us all----and I can take no credit for it.  It was nothing I piously thought my way to.  It was no conscious attempt to work out my own salvation.  What I felt was something better and truer than I was, or than I am, and it happened, as perhaps all such things do, as a gift."

"The grace of God means something like: Here is your life.  You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.  Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things will happen.  Don't be afraid.  I am with you.  Nothing can ever separate us.  It's for you I created the Universe.  I love you.------There's only one catch.  Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it..---------Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too."

Enjoy!  More later---

Cultivating Misery

I swear that I am going to post something original one of these days, but I had to share this piece that I received from a friend today.  Noone seems to be sure of the source, so we will credit "anonymous" with these nuggets of wisdom.  While it is written in obvious sarcasm, I found a great deal of truth here, in addition to a few things that hit uncomfortably close to home!  Enjoy!

Many people innocently believe that all they have to do is sit back, coast through life, and misery will come to them. Nothing could be further from the truth! The sobering fact is that serenity and joy are natural states for us all. Just observe a child at play, yourself on a favorite vacation, or anyone absorbed in creative activity. As our minds clear of clutter and negative thinking, a profound sense of peace and contentment often emerges. Does this mean there's no hope? Absolutely not! The strategies outlined below, practiced regularly, vastly improve our odds of achieving misery.

1. CLING TO ENTITLEMENT

You are perfectly entitled to feelings of entitlement. It is your birthright to expect unfailing attention, loyalty, respect, and subservience from others. Contemplate the inherent, self-evident unfairness of anyone having something you want. Strive to see compromise, accommodation, patience, and responsibility, as somehow relevant only to "the other guy." In general, be aware that life owes you and that you were put on this planet to collect.

2. IT'S ALL PERSONAL

Malicious intent is always present if you just look carefully enough. This is particularly true regarding family members. Suppose your spouse overlooks one of your preferences. Seize the opportunity to view this as conclusive proof that you don't really matter to them and probably never have. If your children dawdle at bedtime, see them as viciously spiteful and yourself as a sorry excuse for a parent. It's really very simple. Ignore nothing, and always assume evil intent. Remember, if you don't take things personally no one will do it for you.

3. FOCUS ON PROBLEMS

There is really very little sense in having problems if you don't focus on them. It's crucial therefore to keep careful track of all your problems and constantly review them. Nurture the attitude that you can't really move on to anything unless everything is resolved first. Remember also that there is no solution without a problem, if you look closely enough. Always resist the temptation to ponder where problems go when you don't think about them.

4. MAGNIFY

Too often people cheat themselves out of misery by maintaining perspective. This is both needless as well as extremely counter productive. Why would anyone ever want to think of themselves as "just human" when "fatally flawed" and "irredeemably warped" are available? Similarly, when recalling past mistakes, why stop at instructive regret when paralyzing guilt is within reach? Sure it requires a bit of effort, but the payoff can be enormous. Just imagine the benefits of eventually believing that your negative thinking actually reflects reality.

5. EXPECT CATASTROPHE

It is critical to remember that really terrible things can occur at any moment. Let's start with the body. Begin by paying close attention to changes in bodily sensation, no matter how trivial. Next, let your imagination run wild. Anything involving flesh-eating bacteria or intestinal parasites will usually do the trick. People sometimes protest that their bodies feel perfectly fine. Not to worry! Think "Silent Killers." Feeling perfectly fine places you squarely at risk for these. Of course, there is no reason to stop at personal health issues. The range of potential catastrophe is vast. For example, there are suitcase bombs, encroaching asteroids, global recession, pandemics, killer bees, and so on. Simply use your imagination to craft a realistic sense of impending doom. Savor the pride you'll feel on your death bed knowing that nothing ever caught you by surprise.

6. JUST SAY "NO THANKS" TO GRATITUDE

Gratitude is to misery what Kryptonite is to Superman. All the hard work you've invested in misery will go down the drain if you start fiddling around with gratitude. A zero tolerance policy is very much in order. This is very challenging, however, as life runs rampant with opportunities for gratefulness. Begin, therefore, by thoroughly discounting all the good in your life as a "given." Next, focus your mind on the many ways in which life continues to disappoint you. At an advanced level, you can even learn to see the bad in the good. For instance, should you get a big raise you could immediately focus on the tax implications. Eliminate gratitude from your life and misery will be right around the corner.

A final word. The beauty of misery is that the more you share it with others, the more you wind up having. So share generously. After all, misery loves company.

The Needs in Front of Your Face

I've recommended Milton's blog to you before.  His writing regularly takes my breath away with its profound insight and lyrical beauty.  His post today was about perspective and focus.  Here is an excerpt, but please take the time to go read the entire post:

How do we make sense and meaning out of our lives when most of the world is poorer, sicker, hungrier, and more frightened than we are? How do we focus on our families and the relationships that sustain us and find time and love to share with people in Iran and Indonesia? How do we invest ourselves in our local churches to do what it takes for us to become who God is calling us to be and find time and energy to generate hope and change in places like Darfur? How do we fight the good fights that need to be fought on our local levels to make sure our towns and cities are caring for our citizens and find energy and determination to bang our heads against the brick wall that is our national government to hold them accountable for their lack of coherent leadership? How do we save the whales, save the rainforest, stop human trafficking, feed the hungry, house the homeless, wage peace, demand equality, struggle with our own biases, cook dinner, get the kids to soccer practice, pay the bills, love our significant others, meet new people, care for our friends, take care of our bodies, get enough sleep, stay informed, have some fun, do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with our God?

How can both near and far stay in focus?

I think maybe this is what I was talking about yesterday.  Perhaps that is the very lesson that I am trying to learn right now...keeping both near and far in focus.  Milton quotes a line from a movie as a response to the question he posed above about finding balance in our focus; "You meet the needs in front of your face."

The needs in front of my face....hmmm....what are the needs in front of my face right now?  Perhaps I should also ask myself to which needs do I close my eyes if they accidentally end up in my line of vision?  Do I pick and choose the needs around me that give me the biggest emotional bang for my buck?  Is one need more "worthy" then another, if God has put them both in front of my face during this season of my life?  How do I figure out when I am following my own agenda and when I am being obedient to the plan God has for my life today?  How do I choose to spend the precious minutes that I have been given in a way that is meaningful...in a way that matters?

Another Favorite Blog

Just a quick entry today to direct my readers to a new favorite of mine.  I have recently begun reading a blog called don't eat alone that I have really found to be a blessing.  I loved yesterday's post about our struggle to make any sense of the darkness and light that co-exist around us.  Here is an excerpt that I thought was rich in truth:

Darkness and light smashed one against the other. How do I make wholeness out of these fragments?

One of the ways I’ve heard people try and cope with such disparity is to say, "There but for the grace of God, go I.” I’ve said it, too. I don’t want to say it anymore because that’s not what I want to say about God’s grace. I don’t see a possibility for wholeness if my perspective begins with, “Thank God that’s not me.” That only heightens the fragmentation of our existence. Grace is not a reprieve from hardship and the realities of life. Grace calls us into the pain, not to give thanks that we weren’t the ones who got hit by the train.

Thanks, Milton, for your words of wisdom. 

Whom Can I Serve?

I thought this went so well with what we have been discussing here on my little ole blog, that I just had to share!  A friend sent this article to me by email.  It is one of those daily devotionals that she gets everyday and she sent it to the ladies who are involved in the shawl ministry that she started at our church.  I learned to knit from her and keep meaning to go the meetings, but so far, I haven't made it.  Anyway, she is a wonderful example of taking the gifts and passions that she has received from God and pouring it out as an offering to God...for Him to use for His glory and to bring about His Kingdom.  She loves to knit and she is exceptionally good at it.  A simple thing, yet a thing of beauty because she knits "unto the Lord."  Many have been and will be blessed by the ministry she began in obedience to the God she loves and serves.  The shawls that she and the others create are a tangible expression of God's love and care poured out through hands consecrated to His service...an offering to Him and to the person who receives the shawl in a time of need.

Anyway, go read the article.  Here is an excerpt:

A lot of this is in how we think. It’s all about becoming other-conscious versus self-conscious.  Being self-conscious is what happens without any effort. It’s the natural human way of going about our lives. Becoming other-conscious is what happens with some effort and the Spirit of God to empower us.

We were not made to go at it alone. We were made to serve each other so that in community, we all get our needs met. It’s a little like saying, “I’ll scratch your back, and you scratch mine,” but more complicated in that we are all gifted to meet each other’s needs in different areas and different ways that only the Holy Spirit could arrange.

Serving one another...the Kingdom of God is at hand.

New Favorite Book

I just finished a book that I love called Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith by Rob Bell.  I would highly recommend it.  I could share with you about a hundred great lines from the book, but there is one excerpt near the end of the book that really resonated with me.  It speaks to me about what church and faith should be about and what it often is instead. 

The most powerful things happen when the church surrenders its desire to convert people and convince them to join.  It is when the church gives itself away in radical acts of service and compassion, expecting nothing in return, that the way of Jesus is most vividly put on display.  To do this, the church must stop thinking about everybody primarily in categories of  in or out, saved or not, believer or nonbeliever.  Besides the fact that these terms are offensive to those who are the "un" and "non", they work against Jesus' teachings about how we are to treat each other.  Jesus commanded us to love our neighbor, and our neighbor can be anybody.  We are all created in the image of God, and we are all sacred, valuable creations of God.  Everybody matters.  To treat people differently based on who believes what is to fail to respect the image of God in everyone.   As the book of James says, "God shows no favoritism."  So we don't either.

Oftentimes the Christian community has sent the message that we love people and build relationships in order to convert them to the Christian faith.  So there is an agenda.  And when there is an agenda, it isn't really love, is it?  It's something else.  We have to rediscover love, period.  Love that loves because it is what Jesus teaches us to do.  We have to surrender our agendas....

I am challenged by these passages on many levels.  What agendas do I need to surrender?  Do I show favoritism to my Christian brothers and sisters...worrying more about caring for them because they are part of the "in" crowd?  How am I contributing to the church giving itself away in "radical acts of service and compassion"?  In fact, how do I represent Jesus' church in the world?  How do I share Jesus' love in the world?

If those passages challenged me, the author's words below give me hope that I am still in the process of becoming who God intends for me to be:

And one thing to keep in mind is that we never arrive.  Ever.  One of the illusions of faith is that at some point we get it all mapped out and things get smooth and predictable.  It is not true.  The way of Jesus is a journey, not a destination.  On a journey, the scenery changes.  A lot.  We can prepare for some things, but not all.  We make mistakes, figure it out as we go along, and try new things.  Failures are just opportunities to learn.

Thanks for going on this journey with me!

Mel and Bono

Read this great article about Mel and Bono and the ways they act out their faith.  The author of the article also has a wonderful blog called Julie Unplugged that I have been enjoying recently.