Seeking Him

Undefiled Worship

This is my new favorite song.  We saw this video at church a couple of weeks ago.  Our guest preacher for the morning was Pastor Pat from New Hope Fellowship and she brought this video to share with us.  New Hope is a small congregation that meets in a community center and is comprised primarily of homeless and formerly homeless men, women and children.  The church provides transportation to the church and a hot meal after the service.  Many of the New Hope folks also spend time at the Lamb Center, the day shelter for the homeless where I spend several hours a week.  Because Pastor Pat was speaking at our church that Sunday, we invited her congregation to join us for worship and lunch.  It was a joy for me to greet some of my friends from the Lamb Center and worship side by side with them in our church home.  I was so thrilled to see our church reach out and support the work that Pastor Pat at New Hope and Dave L. from the Lamb Center are doing in our community and to offer Holy hospitality to these brothers and sisters...the church being The Church.  It was truly a blessed day and this video brought tears to my eyes.  Enjoy!!

FOR REAL!!

My daughters and I attended the Revolve Tour this weekend with a group of 50 moms and daughters from our church community.  Along with 4,000 others, we listened, laughed, danced, sang and worshipped.  This event was produced by Women of Faith and was a celebration of all the beauty and promise that is a young woman in her teenage years.  I loved everything about the weekend; spending time with my daughters, spending time with many of my very best friends and hearing from some incredibly talented young women and men who have devoted themselves to letting teenage girls know that God loves them...for real!

Truly, I enjoyed the entire production and I was so grateful that we had made the effort to get this many girls to the conference.  The message, in my opinion, was something that every girl going through these tumultous years needs to hear...be real.  Who you are right this minute, the unique individual that God made YOU to be, is just the person that the world needs now.  Not a version of yourself that seeks to be like everyone else, not the version of yourself that blends in with the crowd, not the version of yourself that looks more like the magazine covers...but the REAL you, with all your quirks, your passions, your talents, your beauty. 

All the performers were wonderful and reinforced the theme message of the weekend.  The girls particularly enjoyed a young man named Chad Eastham who unraveled the mystery of what guys really think.  The girls in my car spent the ride home reading excerpts of his book out loud; much laughter!!  We are all inspired by a 14 year old young man named Austin Gutwein who showed them that even a kid can change the world.  The Drama Team made us all laugh and think.  The musical artists had us on our feet dancing and singing; Group 1 Crew, Stellar Kart, and Britt Nicole.  We truly worshipped and made a seriously LOUD and joyful noise to the Lord!

My favorite speaker was Jenna Lucado, the daughter of author Max Lucado.  Jenna's message struck home for me personally and is the one that I will continue to pray over my daughters.  Jenna started on Friday night by showing us the various ways the world defines us and then making the suggestion that we won't know who WE really are until we understand who God really is.  On Saturday, she expanded on that by relaying to the girls some really important points about who God is.

First, she suggested that we follow a God who really GETS us.  She talked about the special kind of friends who really know us and love us anyway...who know our quirks, our passions, our talents and our weaknesses and love us for all of them!  She said that God is that friend who gets us in ways that other people can't even begin to understand...in ways we can't even understand about ourselves!  He created each of us in unique ways that fit perfectly with the plans that He has for us.  Because of Jesus, He understands how hard life can be sometimes; what it feels like to hurt, what it feels like to be rejected, to be lonely, to be left out. to be disappointed.  He is the God who really GETS us!

She also suggested that we follow a God who has GOT us.  She shared a story with which many of us were familiar to illustrate this idea.  She talked about being scared of the deep end of the pool when she was little and how her dad tried to help her with her fears.  He would stand down in the deep end, hold out his arms to her and say "Jump!  Don't be afraid; I've got you!"  Our heavenly Father is the God who says to us "Don't be afraid!  I've GOT you!"  Scripture tells us over and over that He will never leave us or forsake us; that whatever we face in this life, we will never walk through it alone.  He doesn't ever promise that life will be easy, but He does promise that He will be with us in all circumstances.  This one brought me to tears as she spoke directly to those girls who perhaps did not feel that kind of safety net from their earthly fathers.  This God is the Heavenly Father who's GOT us!

Finally, she suggested that we follow a God who wants to GIVE us a new name.  She used the visual of big name tags with "names" we might give ourselves...names like "defeated," or "nobody" or "not loved."  She shared with us specific scripture verses that refuted those names and gave us the truth about who we are to God.  God names us "more than conquerors."  God names us "daughters of the King."  God names us each "Beloved."  God names us "Forever."  With the names that God gives us, we know who we really are and we begin to live with confidence from that reality. 

Who are we?  We are God's Beloved!  What did we learn this weekend?  God loves you, the REAL you...FOR REAL!!

Start by Noticing

As I mentioned in my last serious post ...you know, the ones that DON'T mock our political candidates...I have been thinking a lot about what I gleaned from our Outflow series that our church just completed.  One of the speakers in the last video suggested that, as we become more interested in finding ways to pour out God's love to a hurting world, we might begin by simply "noticing."  Noticing the people whom God puts in our path each day...noticing the look in their eyes, the tone of their voice, the deep sigh, the pause.  As God opens our eyes, we will have the opportunity to see God at work and have the privilege of joining in.

I am reading a book right now by Dallas Willard called Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God.  The chapter I most recently read tied in beautifully with the experiences and observations I have had in recent months, including they ways I have seen the Outflow curriculum apply in my daily life.  The primary focus of the book, as you may have gathered from the title, is the ways in which we speak to God and God speaks to us.  The author suggests that there are two primary ways that God offers us personal guidance in our every day lives.  "First, God communicates through what we will recognize as a voice or words addressed to- or even through -us."  The foremost way we hear His Word to us is through scripture and prayer.  These are certainly ways of God speaking with which most Christians are familiar. 

The author describes the second way of hearing from God as "discerning God's voice in shared activity."  He further describes it like this:

There is a second way in which the intentions and thoughts of God are communicated to those who are with Him.  It is one that involves a much more active role on the part of the recipient and is very common among those who are most mature in his family or kingdom.  Here we come to understand what God wants us to understand through immersion with Him in His work...

The author goes on to liken this relationship to what the Psalmist described as being "guided by God's eye (Psalm 32:8 KJV)"  He describes it like this:

This happens when we are working or playing closely with another and know the intentions and thoughts of the other's mind by our awareness of what they are focused upon....  In many cases our need to wonder about or be told what God wants in a certain situation is nothing short of a clear indication of how little we are engaged in His work.

 Now here is the REALLY exciting part...the part that gives me goosebumps:

So our union with God---His presence with us, in which our aloneness is banished and the meaning and full purpose of human existence is realized---consists chiefly in a conversational relationship with God while we are each consistently and deeply engaged as His friend and co-laborer in the affairs of the kingdom of the heavens.

Isn't that awesome?  We are talking about working side by side with God...noticing Him at work in our world and choosing to get off the couch and join Him in that work.  His life-affirming, unconditionally loving, transformational work that He is ALREADY doing all around us.  I think what the author is trying to communicate to us is that sometimes we need to get out of our prayer closet, put down our bible study and get out there and get our hands dirty, if we really want to hear God's voice.

Don't get me wrong.  Time spent in prayer and bible study is NEVER wasted.  I just know that I have seen too many people, myself included, get stuck there wondering what God is trying to say to them about doing His kingdom work.  We can be paralyzed by trying to figure out what great and wonderful thing God is calling us to do.  What I am hearing lately says "JUST GO!!"  Go out into my world...the grocery store, my kid's schools, my nail salon, the church, the Lamb Center...and open my eyes!  See what God is focused on and head that direction.  There are people hurting all around us who are desperate to hear some good news...to have someone listen to their story with no judgement and no agenda.  I think we start by noticing where God is at work, jump in and listen for further instructions WHILE we are living our life prayerfully, mindfully, lovingly. 

I love this new song on the radio.  Here are the words to the chorus of "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath. 

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten

Oh Lord, yes, give me Your eyes and Your heart and Your love AND Your courage!  What could be better than that!  Don't let me miss a single opportunity to hear Your voice as we work side by side in my little corner of the world. 

 

Better Hands Now

Since my daily PTM postings ceased after my fearful announcement that I was driving the church bus the next day, I am sure you will all be relieved to know that all riders survived my maiden voyage as driver of the church party bus. Thank you for your prayers....it was surprisingly easy!  I guess it helps that my regular vehicle is nearly bus sized!   With a special mix of Christian rock and rap tunes, we successfully "rocked" our way to and from Woodstock, Virginia to work on the Volunteer Farm last Thursday.  My children who are allergic to yard work at home, seemed to find no problem digging up beets and turnips for a "worthy cause."  We are still working on translating the lessons that they have learned about having a servant's heart into the home :-)

On Friday of last week, I went with a group of girlfriends into Washington, D.C. to attend the Women of Faith conference while the girls finished up their mission week for a final day.  I was really sad to miss my last day with Team Beautiful Babes, but I had made plans for the conference a long time ago.  The pre-conference on Friday included the incredibly funny Anita Renfroe.  If you haven't seen her before, be sure to click on the link.  She is truly side-splitting hilarious.  The main conference was Friday evening and all day Saturday and included the usual WOF speakers and some incredible musical guests, including Natalie Grant and Nicole C. Mullins.  It was such a joy to spend time worshiping, singing, laughing and learning with my Christian sisters....both the ones with whom I attended and the rest of the 16,000 sisters there at the Verizon Center. 

When we were finishing up our second day at the Lamb Center last week, I felt very strongly that I didn't want my association with their ministry to end there.  I filled out a volunteer application while I was there and I have been offered the opportunity to lead their afternoon bible study on Tuesdays.  I started today and it was truly a joy and a blessing.  I took my girls along and they spent three hours doing laundry...yet another chore they act like they simply can't figure out at home!!  Again, we are working on the "servant heart" attitude at home :-) 

I am absolutely blown away by the courage and faith of the guests that I am getting to know at the Lamb Center.  Today, during bible study, we were talking about how loving God and loving other people are connected (using 1 John 4 as our text.)  We had been talking about how we access the power of the Holy Spirit to help us in loving people who are hard to love, for one reason or another.  I asked the question "how has being a believer...having the Holy Spirit within you...made a difference in how you are able to love others?"   I wish I could share the specific words and stories that came as a result of that question, but I'm not sure I could capture it in a way that could really do it justice.  One thing I will never forget is the one gentleman who said that, as a result of his growing hunger and love for the Lord, he is "not afraid anymore," Although he is homeless and he has to deal with some very difficult people and situations, he is not afraid anymore because he knows God is with him and is changing the way he looks at the world.  In my much safer circumstances, I will remember my friend's humility, faith and hope the next time that I am worried or afraid.

I downloaded the new Natalie Grant CD after the conference this weekend.  The whole thing is wonderful, but I thought of my friend from bible study when I was listening to this song tonight.  Enjoy!

Transitions

2008 is going to be a big year of transitions for our family.  Our oldest daughter will finish middle school in a couple of weeks and begin high school in the fall.  Our baby girl will finish 7 years of elementary school and move up to the middle school at the same time.  Big changes, exciting transitions!

I had to go by the elementary school this morning to drop something off and I ran into our favorite teacher.  Our family was lucky enough to have Ms. Brown 3 years in a row.  She "looped" with my oldest, who had her for 4th and 5th grades.  She then decided to go back to her beloved Virginia History in 4th grade the following year, just in time for second born daughter to get her special year with Ms. Brown. 

As I was walking into the school, I saw her standing there and knew I needed to thank her for her devotion, love and care for my girls.  After all, I might never see her again after school ends in a few weeks.  As I spoke with her and we marveled at the reality of the girls starting high school and middle school next year, I was overcome with emotion.  Even as I participated this week in planning the 6th grade end of year festivities, this time for the last time, I don't think I had really emotionally connected to the idea that our family is leaving behind the comfort and familiarity of this school we know so well.  It was all I could do to hold back my tears until I got back to the car.

Both girls, praise God, are in a good place right now.  Big kids of the school, the oldest ones who know all there is to know about how to manage the everyday challenges of that particular school.  The experts....just ask them!  It is a good place to be....to feel in control, to know what to expect.  They feel confident, competent and in charge.  I am happy for them and we are extremely proud of their hard work that has brought them to this place.

So, why can't they just stay there?  It was hard work to get to this place, why do they have to start all over again?  Next year, they will probably leave for school on that first day with some degree of fear and worry.  Will they get lost?  Will they be able to get their locker open?  What if there is more homework than they can handle?  What if they picked the wrong electives?  What if their friends aren't in their classes or in their lunch period?  What if the teachers are mean?  What if the kids are cruel?  What is one of those 18 year old men they have in high schools makes a move on my precious daughter....ok, that one might be more our issue! :-)

Clearly, in this example, it is easy to see why they have to leave the comfortable, safe and familiar and take the next step into the unknown. It would be ludicrous to keep them in elementary/middle school just because they are doing well there now.  They are outgrowing the place where they are today.  They have learned all the lessons that particular place has for them.  They don't fit there anymore...it wouldn't be good for them or anyone else in the school for them to stay.  In order to keep growing and learning, they have to take the next step....they have to move on.  They can't achieve all the potential that God put within them if they stay where they are.

How often do we face the same challenge in our faith journey?  How often do we....perhaps I should say I...stay too long in a place of familiarity?  A place of safety and comfort where we know what to expect and how to get along.  This is working for us just fine, thank you very much, so why does God seem to be pushing us to try something new or expand the way we think or open our eyes to another possibility?  I finally get this figured out and now I have to learn something new?

Perhaps it is for the same reason that my girls need to change schools next year.  Sometimes we outgrow the places we have been.  It was exactly the right place for us to be for that season...it was a good place...a healthy place, but now we have learned all the lessons that particular place has to offer.  In order to keep growing, sometimes it becomes necessary to take the next step, to venture into the unknown, to take that leap of faith. And that can be almost as scary as going to middle school! :-)

Even though I have significantly more gray hair than I did when my girls started elementary school, the passage of time has given me some wonderful gifts.  The more I see of God's goodness and faithfulness, the more I trust Him and the less I fight Him (mostly!) when He says it is time to move on.  I know that whatever He is bringing about for me next is exactly the right place for me to be.  There are new lessons to learn and more of Him to discover....more blessings to receive and more ways to be used by Him to be a blessing.  In the end, we can't ever forget that He has saved us...set us free...poured Himself out for us so that we can, in turn, pour ourselves out and be a blessing in His Kingdom.  Really, in all honesty, do I dare sit back in comfort and safety and refuse to participate in all that He has planned for me just because it is a little scary?  What might I miss if I do? 

I feel a song coming on....

Ministry

I am called to full-time ministry in Jesus Christ.

And, if you claim to be a follower of Jesus, you are too.  At least, that is what Pastor Neil said this morning, so it must be true. :-)

Here is one definition that I found for the word ministry:  "Ministry is the use of a person's gifts and talents, time and energy, in the service of others."  All of us vary in our God-given gifts, talents, time and energy, so how we "do" ministry is going to look very different for each of us.  What does not vary is our call to serve the world.  As one of my dear friends has recently told her teenage son, we are not called to be a "sucking hole" on society.  We are called to give back, to make a difference, to contribute more than we consume. 

That all sounds quite lofty and altruistic, but there is laundry to be done and kids who need a ride to soccer.  We have jobs to do, expense reports to submit and business plans to finish.  For our kids, there is homework to complete, and SOLs and finals for which to study.  We are all juggling many responsibilities, when exactly do we find the time to do ministry?

Our sermon this morning reminded us that everything we do, including all those things listed above, is ministry when we do it all for the glory of God.  When we parent with eyes on Jesus, we offer our children the ministry of encouragement and discernment.  When we allow God to be part of our marriages, we serve our spouses with the sacrificial love which Jesus modeled for us.  When a friend or co-worker is hurting, in spite of our busy schedules, we have the opportunity to offer them the ministry of presence and encouragement.  Even strangers, when seen as other children of God, offer us occasion to make choices for responding in loving kindness rather than defensive hostility or indifference.  As we seek to follow Jesus, our eyes are opened to the world around us and we find that we are offered ministry opportunities in ways that we hadn't expected and perhaps never saw before.

In early 2005, I began to see new ways of doing ministry that I hadn't seen before.  I felt God was leading me towards something different, but I was reluctant to step too far outside my comfort zone.  This blog was born during that year and, as I recently read back through early blog entries and private journal entries, I see evidence of that exploration.  In late 2005, I volunteered to speak at a women's ministry event at our church and experienced a confirmation of God's leading.  Over the almost three years that have passed since then, God has proven faithful, patient AND persistent.

We just recently finished a very powerful bible study in our Wednesday morning women's group.  Written by a bible teacher who is new to our group, Priscilla Shirer, the title intrigued me right from the beginning; "Discerning the Voice of God."  Within the pages of the workbook and the video lessons we watched on Wednesday mornings, Priscilla reminded me of much that I already knew about our God and was used by God to teach me new things about His desire to communicate with each of us.  She invited us to see what scripture says about God's willingness to speak to us, the ways that God speaks to us, and what our response should be when God speaks to us.  The last few weeks were particularly meaningful as she spoke about the somewhat uncomfortable topic of obedience.

In those final weeks, God and I wrestled with these questions that I have had about the particular kinds of ministry assignments He has for me.  We went round and round about my doubts and my insecurities and my false pride.  Finally, I asked for a very particular kind of confirmation...a burning bush, a neon sign, a message that I couldn't deny.  A few days later, in the final week of our study, Priscilla asked us to consider making a commitment to obey God by writing and dating the words "Whatever God says, I will do it."  She asked us to do that or to ask God what is holding us back from making that commitment to Him.  After a few hours of struggling with that idea, I wrote and signed that statement.  The next day, I got the exact confirmation from God that I had asked for the week before.

Since then, I have been sharing my story and where I believe God is leading me with some of my sisters in Christ.  I have been saying YES to God out loud to people whom I trust to hold me accountable.  I am saying YES to God out loud here on this blog, because this has been a part of this journey.  I don't know the details of what God has in mind, but I am not willing to go back to that stuck place of saying No... maybe...not yet. 

Here are the lyrics to a Nichole Nordeman song that is the most played song on my Ipod.  I'm saying Yes, because I no longer see any other options:

Gone Are the Days Do I dare even wear what I was thinkin' of My true colors bleeding on my sleeve? Do I chance the romance that I've been dreamin' of Instead of wishing for it quietly? Always at a distance, I wish you'd safely stayed Despite my resistance, you sought me anyway CHORUS: Gone are the days Of All that I was afraid of I've left behind the traces of who I've been No longer able to wrestle with this Angel And the Closer you get, I can let you love me I had found it was easier to dance around The edges of who I could be If I chose to expose what grows deep down Would you still desire what you see? No more self-rejection no longer paralyzed This holy perfection is me inside your eyes CHORUS Never mind this mirror hanging on the wall Cause I could not pretend to be the fairest of them all Took a hammer to the glass To shatter all the pieces, The pieces of my past CHORUS

Everybody Cut Footloose

This is Footloose week at our house.  You may remember that back in August I mentioned that my daughters and I were auditioning for our church's production of a musical rendition of the 1984 movie Footloose.  My older daughter and I were both invited to be part of the cast and we have been working on the production since September.  All of those hours of rehearsal come to fruition this weekend; 6 shows in 4 days!  We opened last night and it was a fabulous evening for all.  Everyone who attended really seemed to appreciate our performance and we all had a blast finally getting to share our work with an audience.

The majority of this cast of 60+ are high school age teens.  There are a few middle school kids, like my daughter, in small ensemble roles and then we old folks round out the group.  Footloose is about a restless city boy, Ren McCormack, who moves to a small town and rebels when he hears that dancing is against the law.  I portray Ethel, Ren's mom.  Footloose is about the danger of closing our hearts and minds and, ultimately, about the redemptive power of love and forgiveness.  It is a huge show, filled with songs familiar to many of us and incredible dance numbers.  Lucky for me and the audience, I am NOT one of the ones doing the dancing!!

As I said when we did Godspell last year, working on a production of this magnitude with all these young people involves much joy and laughter.  The enthusiasm and energy of this group is contagious and I love being with all of them.  While the experience of Footloose has been very different from Godspell in many ways, Footloose has had its own gifts.  I will be sad when it is over on Sunday.

Yesterday, I sent out an email to the cast to tell them about a wonderful God moment that I had experienced in bible study on Wednesday morning.  One of the main topics in our video presentation at bible study was dancing!  Of all the weeks to talk about what scripture says about dancing, how perfect that it was the week of Footloose.  In the video, Beth Moore suggested that God created all of us to have a natural urge to dance and sing as an outlet for our praise and gratitude to Him....an in-born instinct to worship...to express our joy and connection to our Creator.  In the story of Footloose, Ren reminds the town council that scripture is full of references to dancing with joy and praise.  As I sat there at bible study, I thought about the joy of dancing and singing that all of the kids in this cast express on stage and I wondered how many of them truly understand that God wired them that way as a way for them to express their love to Him and to each other.  I also wondered if I had done my part in relating that message of God's love to them. 

Our director and our choreographer have both reminded us several times that this process is all about giving....giving unselfishly to one another on stage....giving of ourselves to the audience during the show.  Being transported out of your own worries and concerns while seated in a dark theater is one of the gifts of the show.  The ways that we can all relate to the common struggles of the characters portrayed is another of the gifts.  And, of course, laughter and tears...the times when we are impacted at the level of our heart...are the greatest of the healing gifts of theater.  What can happen when the lights go down in the theater is truly magical.  I have experienced it everytime I am in the audience, and even more so when I have the privilege of being on the stage.

I'm sure I will have more thoughts next week, assuming I survive 6 shows in 4 days!  It is a busy week and I am having the time of my life. Pray for us, and if you are in Northern Virginia, come see our show!

Prince of Peace

You may remember WAY back last year that we were discussing that familiar verse in Isaiah that we hear every year at Christmas that speaks to us of the character of our coming, came, and coming back again Saviour.  For "He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."  I took some time to explore the first three and had every intention of spending some time exploring the last one.  In fact, I have to say that the last one is probably my favorite. Prince of Peace is probably the characteristic of Jesus that has been the most personally meaningful to me throughout the years that I have attempted to walk this path.  Peace within my spirit is probably the "payoff," if you will, that keeps me coming back for more when the journey gets hard.

So, here it is almost a month past Christmas and I am just now getting around to writing this last post on my "Christmas" themed series.  What happened?  Frankly, a distinct lack of peace in my life.  A tutorial on what does NOT bring peace....just for the benefit of you, my dear readers.  God, or more likely my own stubborn ego, decided that I would be much better suited to write about this topic AFTER I was reminded about some things I have learned over the years about peace, or the lack there of.  I am exaggerating a bit for dramatic effect (what, me?) but it has been a bit of a rocky start to 2008 from the standpoint of peace and tranquility.  Some of that has been external, some internal.

First of all, the blasted health concerns have continued.  The ongoing battle with the migraines have recently been complicated by a sinus infection that won't go away.  Being that both of these issues take place from my neck up, it has been somewhat complicated from a medication standpoint...and my head just basically hurts all the time.  To make the adventure more, ummm....adventurous....my doctor decided to switch my migraine prevention medication to one that has a daunting list of possible side effects.  Even though I know better, I am goulishly drawn to the Internet to read the lists of all the things I might expect to go wrong, even though I can already recite them from memory.  Worrying about my health and not feeling well AND not turning my worries over to God had brought about a deficit of peace in my life. 

Secondly, I recently got distracted from the things that are mine to do and that also brought about a decline of peace in my life for a period of time.  I believe that God calls us to certain ministries, priorities, tasks, roles in our lives.  All of us only have a certain number of hours in our days and, whether we like to admit it or not, we all have limited emotional, physical, and spiritual resources.  When we spread ourselves too thin and get pulled emotionally into business that isn't ours, we are ineffective in the places that God has called us to do His work.  Several years ago, I made some clear choices about the ministries for which God had called me and gifted me within our church, our community and our family and I had set what I believed were some really healthy boundaries to protect those.  Through God's grace in teaching me that lesson, I had achieved some considerable peace based on those boundaries.  Recently, I found myself getting pulled into some difficult emotional issues that weren't my business and worries that weren't mine to carry.  I spent several weeks trying to fix things that weren't mine to fix.  In the 12 step program, one of the definitions of insanity is working harder on the problem than the person with the problem.  For me, it was a reminder of how important it is to be in contact every day with God about how He wants me to be using my time and energy.  And a reminder of what a mess I get in when I go off and operate on my own without Him.  When He is in charge, I have peace.  When I am in charge, I don't have peace.  Keep it simple, stupid.

So, here is our Christmas lesson, boys and girls.  The PRINCE part of Prince of Peace is really important.  Peace is only found when we bend our knees to His authority.  I have to remember to let Him be God.  It is only when He is in charge, only when we allow Him to be the Prince of our life, that we find that peace that we so desparately seek.  He wants to help us make each decision, He wants to help us set boundaries, He wants to comfort our worries and hold our hands when our head hurts.  He wants to help us choose which battles to fight with Him by our side and remind us which battles belong to someone else altogether.  And, although following Him down that path is sometimes frightening, there is great solace in knowing that He is in front of us leading the charge.

The peace we are talking about here comes and goes, but is so powerful...so precious, that once we have experienced it, we have no choice but to seek it the rest of our lives.  Here are the lyrics to a wonderful Sara Groves song called This Peace that talks about it:

So many words to say
but I'm opting for silence
so many days to live
think I'm sitting this one out
something I've been chasing
finally stopped to let me catch it
something I've been longing for and dreaming about

its a whisper in my ear
its a shiver up my spine
its the gratitude I feel for all thats right
its a mystery appeal thats been granted me tonight
this peace

something so elusive
something close but far away
its the home that I can't live in yet
somewhere in outerspace
sometimes I barely miss it
when I walk into the room
and curtains are still swaying
and I feel the air move

and it whispers in my ear
and it shivers up my spine
its the gratitude I feel
for all thats right
its a mystery appeal
thats been granted me tonight
this peace

no time to grab the camera
no time to write it down
its time enough to breathe it in
and linger

its a whispers in my ear
its a shiver up my spine
its the gratitude I feel
for all thats right
its a mystery appeal
thats been granted me tonight
this peace

Lastly, let me say that, for today, I am obviously talking about how Jesus impacts our personal peace.  Probably much more importantly, I also believe that within the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave us all we need to know to bring about true Peace on Earth....but that is for another blog entry....

Tears of the World

This week in our Online Retreat, we are looking at the sins of the world....yes, something of a heavy topic!  We are on Week 5 and I feel like the weekly readings are becoming part of my life.  Last week was really powerful; I will probably blog more about that topic later.  In the meantime, I had to share some more song lyrics that fit in beautifully with Week 5's topic. 

My friend and I went to see Michael Card at our church on Saturday night.  What a blessing!  I was emotionally touched by all the music he played, but this song in particular brought tears to my eyes.  It is called Tears of the World. 

In any split second of a moment in time,
in a blink that is one single day.
The sum of the sorrow that wraps ‘round the world
could catch ev’ry soul up and sweep them away.

As vast as the ocean, as deep as the sea,
swept up in one toxic tide.
By the warm salty waves the world weeps its woe,
so how could it be that my own eyes are dry?

Open my eyes, and open my heart.
Grant me the gift of your grieving.
Awaken in me the compassion to weep
just one of the tears of the world.

When God walked among us, in the fullness of time,
He wept tears as old as the world.
Acquainted with sorrow, He took up the cup,
and drank ev’ry drop of the poison that heals.

So open my eyes, and open my heart.
Grant me the gift of your grieving.
Awaken in me the compassion to weep
just one of the tears of the world.

And so comes the call of this sorrowful Man,
to set our small sadness aside.
And to weep sov’reign sorrow, no matter the cost,
to follow Him boldly, and wade in the tide.

So open my eyes, and open my heart.
Grant me the gift of your grieving.
Awaken in me the compassion to weep
just one of the tears of the world.

I Know You're There

Today, I am feeling very grateful.  I am in a good place today, overwhelmed by the God "who cannot be outdone in generosity."  I see God's fingerprints everywhere and I am in awe of how He cares about the details of my life.  I had the opportunity to pray with my praying mom's group this morning, my honey got home from a trip, the chiropractor visits are yielding results, and my best friend of 30 years is arriving with her kids tomorrow.  Actually, we have been friends for 31 years.  Wow!

I kept playing this song over and over again in my car today.  It is an awesome new praise song from Casting Crowns.  I thought I would, once again, share some lyrics with you.  It's called "I Know You're There."  Don, if you are reading this, you have to transpose this into a higher key for me so I can sing it in church sometime!!

This just in...I found a video of it, beautiful pics and all!!  Now, you can sing along!

If all I had was one last breath
I'd spend it just to sing Your praise
Just to say Your name
If all I had was one last prayer
I'd pray it 'cause I know You're always listening
If I could live a thousand lives, bind the hands of time
I would spend every moment by Your side

'cause I, I know You're there, I know You see me
You're the air I breathe
You are the ground beneath me
I know You're there, I know You hear me
I can find You anywhere

If all I had was one more song to sing
I would raise my voice to make the heavens ring
If all I had was one last chance, I'd take it
I would stake it all on You

If I could raise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye
I would make them believe
What I feel inside

If I could live a thousand lives and bind the hands of time
If I could rise up high and catch a glimpse of every eye

I know You're there
I know You're there
I know You're there, You're there

The Weather is Here, I Wish You Were Beautiful

We are furiously packing for the beach today.  My daughters and I auditioned for our church's next musical production this morning and, in preparing for that, I didn't start packing until today...we leave about 6 a.m. tomorrow!  Our next musical will be Footloose.  You may remember, that first born child and I were in Godspell this past March.  It was an awesome experience and I really want to have the opportunity to be in a production with my younger daughter as well.  In fact, that is the whole reason that I am trying out again (other than my incessant love of performing, of course!)  This time, they did the auditions like a "real" theatre production, so we had to prepare monologues in addition to learning a song.  My kids also had to dance.  Thankfully, for all involved, I was NOT required to dance...YIKES!!

So we have been working on our monologues all week, having a blast practicing for each other.  I am grateful to report that both the girls did great.  They completely rocked on their monologues and they both did their absolute best work in song and dance (they have somewhat different abilities in the song and dance arena, so I was pleased that they both felt good about what they personally accomplished.)  I felt good about my song, but I stumbled in the middle of my monologue and, after recovering from a long pause, realized that I had left out about a third of it!  Oh well!  The really sweet thing was watching my kids reassure me afterwards.  They were so precious and I love that we had the opportunity to encourage one another, pray together before (and during) our auditions and then comfort/ congratulate each other afterwards.  I really hope we all three get to be in the show in some capacity...the three musketeers, all for one and one for all (too bad their daddy doesn't have an inclination for the theatre!)

But, that is now behind us and we are headed for my absolute favorite place on earth!!  I leave you with this picture.  It is me and my auditioning buddies at the beach in 2005.  The other is a sunrise pic from last year.  Pretend it is a postcard from me with the words to the Jimmy Buffett song above written on the back!!  Talk to you next week!

Tender Heart

My first born is away at camp this week.  She went to this camp last year; her first time away from home for a whole week.  Because she was away for the first time last year, I started a tradition of writing her a note for each day she was gone with strict instructions NOT to open them all at once.  She LOVED it, so I did it again this year.  Because the week is meant to be all about her getting closer to God, I include different scripture verses in each note.  Her roommates from last year were amazed that one day, the scripture that I referenced was the same scripture that their speaker had mentioned.  Glory!  I love it when God shows off in tiny ways that are just for you!

Anyway, Sunday evening I had the pleasure of sitting, with my bible on my lap, searching for words to share with my precious one while she was away.  My words of love and encouragement and, more importantly, God's Words of love and encouragement.  As I flipped through the pages of my bible, I smiled at the many verses that I had underlined and the notes that I had written in the margins.  Yes, I do write in my bible...it is a history of my Father and I's journey together.  I picked several verses to share with my baby girl that I thought might bless her....sometimes I just went with the one that jumped out at me as I browsed. 

For some reason, I had trouble falling asleep later that night.  As I lay awake, I thought about my experience earlier that evening and expressed my gratitude to God for His Word found within the pages of that book.  I thought about how I am changed when I spend time in God's Word and I thought about the different reasons that I don't spend that time as often as I should.  How can I describe the way that I am different after time spent reading God's Word?  I guess the best word I can find is that I am more tender.  My heart...my spirit...is more tender, more porous, more open.  I am softer in spirit....less brittle.  More flexible, pliable, moldable.  Ready to notice God at work, ready to see His glory.  Open to His leading, quiet enough to hear His voice.

I don't really understand how it works that way and I know there are some days that I read the bible and it doesn't connect.  Some days, it just seems like an ancient history book.  But other times, I find God there in those pages and I am changed in subtle ways that I can only see looking backwards at my journey.  I guess my point is that I am learning that just showing up and opening this Book matters...even if I don't experience a "burning bush" moment everytime.  Some times a word or verse does jump out at me and I know God means it just for me.  Other times however, it is not the words themselves that tenderize my heart.  It is more a deep sense of realization...a KNOWING....that this same God, the God speaking to Abraham, Jacob, David and Peter, is with little me in the quiet of a sleepless night and is with my firstborn in the mountains of North Carolina.

I was listening, as I often do, to Nichole Nordeman while I was exercising today.  This song makes me cry everytime I hear it and I think speaks to both the bigness AND the smallness of my God.  The God that never changes, but continues to change me.

Small Enough

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when i was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping,
like in soloman's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

Anyway

I was driving in the car today, listening to my Ipod and this Nichole Nordeman song came on.  Although I have heard it many times before, it struck me today how much it connected with the entry I posted yesterday (especially the part I put in bold.)  It is called "Anyway:"

Bless the day
This restoration is complete
Dirty dusty something must be underneath
So I scrape and I scuff
Though it's never quite enough
I'm starting to see me finally

A gallery of paintings new and paintings old
I guess it's no surprise that I'm no Michaelangelo
Every layer of mine hides a lovely design
It might take a little patience
It might take a little time

But you called me Beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway

You who have begun this work will someday see
A portrait of the holiness you meant for me
So I polish and shine
til it's easier to find even an outline of mine

But you called me Beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway
Anyway
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway

Do It Anyway

This week's guest on American Idol was country music star, Martina McBride.  On Wednesday night's result show, she sang her single "Anyway."  I had heard it before, but it was much more meaningful in light of the events earlier this week at VA Tech.  Not only are the lyrics meaningful, but it is an amazingly beautiful song as well....a singer's song that swells into a powerful chorus.  Here are the lyrics:

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyways

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea - sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love
Anyway

Evil, hatred and fear may have had a good week, but we know God still wins in the end.

Post- Godspell Blues

We did it!!!  Three awesome shows!  Everybody stepped up and made it happen...the cast, the band, the crew, all the volunteers that fed us and took tickets and cheered us on.  It was an absolutely incredible experience; I will never forget this weekend.

I tried to write something on Sunday evening, but I was too physically exhausted after a week of living on adrenaline.  Yesterday was a day of wonderful emails from cast members to one another expressing their affection and their sadness that this part of our journey is complete.  It seems that I am not the only person that has found this to be one of the highlights of my life.

For the past 48 hours, I find myself clutching my Godspell treasure box close.  In quiet moments, I take out a memory...a moment...a scene or a song...and turn it slowly around in my heart and mind to savor it again.  A moment in the green room before the last show watching Duke and Nick C. plot to add a little something "extra" to the show to surprise us :-)...a moment when 4 or 5 of us prayed around Garrett because his voice was scratchy and sore...a moment when I watched my precious first-born from across the stage having the time of her life.  I cherish these moments with my friends...my Godspell family. 

I also hold close to my heart the three times that I got to sing my song in the shows.  The peace I had because I knew I was prepared....the comfort of knowing that "my girls" were praying for me while I sang, just as I had prayed for them when it was their turn to sing.  The moment that I gave my song to God as an offering, then just let it rip...the exhiliration of knowing that it was good and that God was being glorified through the words that I was singing.  The sheer joy of making music and sharing it with an audience...it is a high that is hard for me to describe.  It was as if God gave me a present and then I had the privilege of offering it back to Him for Him to use to touch all of our hearts.  As the quote from the movie Chariots of Fire says, when I sang, I felt "God's pleasure" and knew that I was right in the center of His Will.

Each night had its particular joys and wonderful memories.  There were dear ones in attendance at all 3 shows...packed house on Friday night, completely sold out on Saturday and Sunday!!  Every musical number intensified the energy and the emotion of the message...all the parables and skits bound the audience to us in laughter.  The more they laughed, the more fun we had and the sillier/ better we got.  The Prodigal Son part of the first act just got better and better with each show; Duke, Kevin, Trevor, Nick, Heidi and my Alex were having a blast and the rest of us enjoyed it as much as the audience.  The entire second act just got better and better each night; Sara's teasing of the guys (and the audience!) in "Turn Back, Oh Man," Garrett's passion in "Alas for You, " the energy of the whole cast in "We Beseech Thee," the tender beauty and heartbreak in both of the ladies' trios.  Everything built to a crescendo in the cruxificion scene...the emotion was real and raw, especially on Sunday.  We remembered why we keep telling this story...and why we will celebrate Easter once again next week.

The final memory of the weekend stars Kevin.  At our cast party on Sunday evening, Kevin performed a one man show of Godspell...playing all of our parts.  We laughed so hard that I thought I was going to pull something....seeing as how I was already exhausted and sore, I am not entirely sure it was healthy :-)!!  He is brilliant and will probably be famous someday. I enjoyed watching him, but even more, I enjoyed watching the person who he was "playing" as he re-played our individual parts.  The look on their faces...the delight of watching their contribution played back in such a light-hearted way...was priceless.  Kevin would deliver their line or their expression almost as an impression of them and the look on their face showed their pride in what they had created...it was their gift and, in our hearts, would always belong to that individual. 

I could write forever on this topic, but I will stop for now.  There are some members of our cast planning to go to another production of Godspell in D.C. this weekend, but I'm not ready yet.  Right now, I want to cherish the way we did it, the way we sang it, the way we killed the Fatted Calf three times....heee heee!  I will be ready to enjoy the music again in late April when three of our cast members perform in Godspell Jr. at one of our local middle schools....go Kevin, Trevor and Nick!!!!

For any of you cast members reading this, what are we going to do this weekend???????????

A Picture Speaks a 1000 Words

Opening Night tonight!  I can't believe it is finally here!  For those of you who want to come to the show and don't have tickets yet, tonight is your night.  Saturday and Sunday are both sold out! My younger daughter took over 200 pictures at our rehearsal on Wednesday night.  Today, I will let the pictures speak for themselves.  I wanted to post a bunch of pictures, so they are small.  If you click on the individual pictures, they will open into a larger version.  Enjoy!

Saving Grace

I've found myself in tears at least 3 times today and it is only 2:00 in the afternoon.  Once I cried when I read an email from one of my fellow cast members this morning.  I found myself crying again when I was listening to praise music while working out mid-day.  Then I cried numerous times reading Anne Lamott's new book.  I'm not sure whether it's hormones or the intensity of the emotions surrounding this weekend of Godspell, but my spirit feels raw...like the new skin underneath when the scab has come off...it doesn't hurt, but it needs time to toughen up to live out in the real world.  None of the tears were about sadness.  Each time...if there is a common thread...the tears were about people being saved by grace.  Saved from alienation, saved from self-obsession, saved from loneliness, addiction and despair.  Grace that softens the edges of our spirits and allows us to open up to other human beings and to God.  Grace that says you are OK just like you are.  Grace that says that you are loved deeply and forever and for no reason except that you are you....with no requirement except that you accept that Grace.  Saving Grace....life-affirming Grace.  Today it overwhelmed me and made me cry.

There is a song in the show...the first song that Jesus sings and that we join him in singing.  It is a plea for God to save us....God Save the People.  A prayer we pray when we see the images from Iraq or Darfur or Southeast D.C....a prayer I pray every time I hear George Bush speak (OK, sorry, I've been reading Anne Lamott all afternoon and I'm feeling fiesty :-)  It really helped me when our director reminded us that, although we are celebrating and dancing during this upbeat song, we are also pleading, begging, searching for answers...for saving...for grace perhaps.  The disciples we play were, as we are, people in need of saving.  Here are the words...read them as a prayer:

When wilt thou save the people?
Oh God of mercy, when?
Not kings and lords, but nations,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
Flow'rs of thy heart, o God, are they;
Let them not pass, like weeds, away,
Their heritage a sunless day.
God save the people.

Shall crime bring crime forever,
Strength aiding still the strong?
Is it thy will, o Father,
That men shall toil for wrong?
"No", say thy mountains;
"No", say thy skies;
Man's clouded sun shall brightly rise,
And songs be heard instead of sighs.
God save the people.

When wilt thou save the people?
Oh God of mercy when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
God save the people, for thine they are,
Thy children as thy angels fair.
God save the people from despair.
God save the people.
Oh God save the people!
God save the people!
Oh God save the people!
God save the people.
Oh God save the people!
God save the people!
Oh God save the people!

When wilt thou save the people?
O God of mercy when?
The people, Lord, the people,
Not thrones and crowns, but men!
God save the people, save us,
For thine they are, for thine they are.
Thy children as thy angels fair:
O, God save the people,
Save the people,
God save the people,
From despair.
God save the people!

God save the people,
O, God save the people,
God save the people,
O, God save the people,
God save the people,
God save the people,
God save the people.

(By the way, my younger daughter took over 200 pictures of our rehearsal last night.  I will post a bunch of Godspell pictures tomorrow or later today!  The one above is from last night...us reaching out to touch Jesus.)

The Gifts of Godspell

I was standing in the church parking lot after bible study this morning with two of my favorite people, my friend Julie and our senior pastor Rob.  Julie and I were sharing with Rob how much fun we are having being part of the cast of Godspell.  He asked us the question "what do you think has made it so special?"

What has made this experience so special?  As I said in my last blog entry about Godspell, the people are the primary answer to the question, for instance, the deepening of friendships with dear ones like Julie.  However, as I reflect on that question, there are even more blessings than that.  One of the things Julie and I identified as bringing us both a great deal of joy is the playfulness of the whole production.  Jesus' "disciples" in the story are meant to be very childlike and innocent.  There is a great deal of silliness in the process of acting out the parables found in Matthew.  Julie and I are on the "older" end of the cast and we agreed that it was very refreshing to get the opportunity to just play.  In the course of the show, I shriek as I am locked in jail, I gasp for air as a plant without enough moisture, I wail like a devil, I baa like a sheep, and crawl around on the floor for a variety of reasons too numerous to mention.  Suffice it to say that I rarely shriek, gasp, wail, baa or crawl around in "real" life.  I also, throughout the play, dance with joy a great deal.  We all do...I do it much more poorly than most.  However, in the context of the play, I feel free to dance with abandon.  Ooooh, that might be it....playing, being silly, singing loudly, dancing poorly....all with abandon.  Not much place in my proper adult world to do very many things with abandon!  I think that must be a big part of the joy of Godspell for me.

Speaking of things done with abandon, the joy of Godspell is also very much tied up with the joy of laughter.  We laugh HARD during our Godspell rehearsals.  We laugh often...almost constantly.  Some of the funniest people that I know are in this cast....Duke, Justin, Sarah, Ellen, Kevin, just to name a few.  Actually, everyone in the cast is hilarious.  Again, where in life do you get the opportunity to laugh for a common purpose...for a "good" cause, if you will.  Laughing regularly is something I am blessed to have in my life outside of Godspell, but the energy and silliness of this setting make it extra special. 

The other thing that has been extraordinary about this experience is watching God use it all for His glory.  We haven't even done the performances for an audience yet, but God has already been showing off!  My favorite gift we have gotten from God in this process has been my new friend, Anne.  Anne came to us as a gift from Sarah initially, but God had bigger plans.  Anne has real-life Broadway and off-Broadway experience, so she actually knows what she is doing much more than many of us do.  Yet, not once has she been the least bit "Diva-ish."  In fact, she is one of the most generous spirited people that I have ever had the pleasure to know.  She is creative, funny, loving, talented and giving.  She and her equally lovely daughter Heidi have contributed costumes, props, puppets and endless ideas and energy.  Best of all, Anne is now going through the New Members class at our church, so we get to "keep" her after the production is over!  I love that God gave us a new member of our family who came to us through a different door than usual. A gift that keeps on giving...I look forward to God growing my new friendship with Anne over the coming weeks and months. This is only one example of how God has expressed His generosity to us through Godspell.

Speaking of God's good gifts, here are the words to the song I have the privilege of singing in our production.  It is a breathtakingly beautiful song...so beautiful that I only have to show up and open my mouth for God to use it to bless those who are listening.  It is very easy to sing these words straight from my heart:

ALL GOOD GIFTS

We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..

But it is fed and watered by God's almighty hand..

He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain...

The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain...

Chorus:

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above

Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love...

We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,

The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,

No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts

But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!

Chorus:

All good gifts around us

Are sent from Heaven above..

Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love..

I really wanna thank you Lord!

I wanna thank you, Lord, thank you for all of your love.

Day by Day

This is Godspell week for my daughter and me.  Opening night is Friday and we are completely immersed, buried, obsessed with it.  I can't remember any activity with which I have been involved that has brought me more joy than this production.  I plan to write about Godspell this week here on my blog...mostly as a way to document and remember this experience.  I am already feeling sad that it will be all over on Sunday, but I am trying to delay that grieving and focus instead on savoring the moments that we have left to experience.

As is the case with most of my favorite things in life, the joy of Godspell is all about the people.  Our cast has become like a big family.  I don't have enough theatre experience to know if that is always the case when you work this many hours together on a production, or if this closeness is something special.  The fact that our cast ranges in age from 10 to 50 probably enhances that feeling.  This experience is also unique for me in that my 13 year old daughter and I are doing it together.  After 10 or so years of cheering her on during dance recitals, music performances and sporting events, I am actually having the opportunity to enter the experience with her and be on her "team."  It is something I will treasure forever.  We have to be careful when we are at home with her dad and sister not to speak a special Godspell "language" that only we can understand...talking incessantly of this funny thing from rehearsal or what we thought of that particular scene.  Someday, I hope I will have the chance to experience something similar with my younger daughter.

The older teenagers that I have gotten to know during these months of rehearsal have calmed any fears that I might have had about the upcoming adolescent years with my girls.  They are all precious... smart, funny, polite, committed, responsible...each of them a pleasure to know.  The two young men that play the main roles, Jesus and Judas, are two of the nicest kids I have ever met.  Boys of 16-17 are often not seen in the best light...Garrett and Nick renew my faith.  They are both incredibly gifted actors and musicians, but more importantly, they are kind, giving, responsible young men.  It has been my absolute pleasure to watch them make these roles their own. 

Most of these young people had way more theatre experience that I did going into this production and I have learned so much from watching them.  Our director, Zoe, is their drama teacher at the high school and she is my absolute hero.  She probably spends more time with these kids than they spend with their parents and she doesn't take that responsiblity lightly.  Watching her work with them, work with all of us, has been one of the great joys of this process.  Clearly, she is interested in the final product that we are trying to create, but even more clear is her committment to each of those kids as growing human beings.  Harnessing the energy of a bunch of theatrical kids, teens and adults takes a very special person and we are blessed to have found that person in Zoe.

I wish I could say a little something about each member of the cast and I wish I could tell you why every song from the show is special....we'll see how much time and energy I have this week for writing!  For today, a good place to end is with the lyrics to the song Day by Day.  Being that I am a big fan of bumper sticker theology, you can't get much simpler and clearer about our walk with Jesus than this song that is sung early in the show.  In our production, it is sung by a lovely young lady named Sammy.  I have had the privilege of watching Sammy grow up in our church....she was probably around 9 or 10 when I first met her.  She is 16 or so now and she is every parent's dream for their daughter.  Beautiful, but not in an affected, overly self-conscious way....smart and comfortable with adults, but always with respect....stong and sure in her faith, but in a way that draws the other teens in, not alienating them with self-righteousness or religiousity.  I believe it is because of Sammy that the "non-church" kids in our cast felt comfortable joining a church production.  She is a natural leader that even we adults felt comfortable following.  Sammy was the perfect choice to sing this song because she exudes the combination of innocence and maturity that this song seeks to communicate.  

Day by day
Day by day
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day

You can't get much simpler and clearer than that.  With each new day, open my eyes to Your glory, open my heart to love You more, show me the path to follow You...Lord, hear our prayer!

Always Have, Always Will

Heard this song this morning on the radio.  It is sung by the band Avalon, but I could have written the words about myself.  I don't know about you, but somedays I get so downhearted that I am still struggling with all the same nonsense.  Just when I think God has made some progress with me, I fall back into old patterns of self-will run riot.  I love the first few lines of this song..."part of me is the prodigal, part of me is the other brother..."  Anybody else feel that way?  I love it when God uses music to reassure me that we all struggle sometimes and that, as the song says, He loves me anyway..."always has, always will."  Enjoy!

Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me
Is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild
Some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while
Why you put up with me, when...

I wrestle most days
To find ways to do as I please

CHORUS
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
My longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will

I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime

I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to you

CHORUS

I'm gonna keep trusting You
I see what You've seen me through
I'm goin' where You have gone (yeah)
I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me ever)
Here's my heart
I'll always love You, love You (yeah)

CHORUS 2X

Oh, You always have, You always will