Seeking Him

These Boots are Made for Walking...

I have been leading bible study at a day shelter for poor and homeless individuals on Tuesday afternoons since the summer of 2008.  When I first started leading bible study at the Lamb Center, I would prepare my lessons with great attention and careful detail.  I would arrive with an outline of pertinent scriptures to explore and a list of corresponding questions for each scripture.  As I began to have a deeper understanding and love for the community in which I was serving, it became more and more clear that my illusion of control was just that…an illusion.  While I still spend time in preparation, I have come to understand that in many ways, I am just a passenger along for the ride.  And often, it is a very exciting ride!  I am definitely NOT the one in charge. 

This morning, I was reminded of the many places in scripture that it talks about various characters who “walked with God.”.  I particularly connected with one of the author’s descriptions of what it means to walk with God.   She said to walk with God is to “live continually God-aware.”  As I meditated on that concept, I thought about the places and spaces in my life where I already “live continually God-aware” and those places where I might benefit from a greater adherence to that practice.  On Tuesday afternoons at the Lamb Center, I have learned to “live continually God-aware.”  The staff there live that way every day and they are wonderful teachers.

When I began serving at the Lamb Center, I was quickly faced with the awareness….perhaps a better word would be certainty….that I could not do this thing using only my feeble bag of tricks.  My collective wisdom, training, experience and gifts were woefully insufficient.  What wisdom or solace could a middle aged mom with plenty of money in the bank have to offer to someone who was living in the woods and was overwhelmed by despair?  In all honesty, how dare I presume that my words would mean anything in that context?  Yet, because of a series of circumstances, I knew I was supposed to be there and so I went.  At first, I went with a flurry of preparation and planning.  Eventually, I went with a handful of scripture and eyes wide open to see what God was going to do with it.  Like the young boy who offered up his meager lunch of a loaf of bread and a couple of fish, sometimes I feel like more of an observer to the miracles than a participant.

Sometimes during bible study, things seem to be careening out of control.  Perhaps we have more than the usual number of guests who are struggling with mental health issues or are experiencing overwhelming fear or anger.  During those times, I I have learned to get very quiet and listen very carefully; as if my guide on the path has held up His hand as an indication that I should pause.   Sometimes, in that moment, one of the quieter guests will chime in with words of such wisdom and clarity and kindness that I offer a prayer of thanksgiving to God that He put a hand over my mouth at that moment.  Sometimes, I feel a gentle tug on my heart to ask a different question that might lead us down an alternative path- a question that I hadn’t thought of before that moment.  One day, when I saw us heading down a path that I was certain led directly off a cliff, one of our precious guests was reminded of a song and so I asked her to teach it to us and we sang it together.  Because I am no longer attached to my agenda or under the delusion that I am in control, I have been able to witness and experience God work miracles.  But I MUST listen and be willing to be flexible.  And I am personally blessed and changed every week by my fellow sojourners and the ways that God uses them to teach me.

Here’s the thing:  I KNOW I can’t fix anybody at the Lamb Center, so I don’t even try.  I can’t orchestrate their healing or get them housing or keep them sober or undo the pain they have suffered in their life.  So I lean in and follow the one who CAN do those things.  His timing is often not what I would choose and the path He takes often looks like the long way around.  But after 6 years of traveling this road, I am convinced He knows what He is doing and so I spend my days there “living continually God-aware” expecting to see miracles, in spite of myself.

When I walk through the doors of the Lamb Center now, I am blindingly aware of God at work.  With this awareness of God’s presence and provision, I often stumble upon unexpected treasures and wind up following paths I hadn’t planned.  “Living continually God-aware” in this context means seeing the people and situations I encounter as sacred and knowing that God is present in the midst of them.  Each conversation is holy, each person (including me) a sacred work in progress.  Even the ugly and difficult, when seen through God eyes, is somehow a reminder to breath deep and lean into my much stronger and wiser walking Companion like a sturdy walking stick.  Because the situations there are often difficult and the resources are limited, we have no choice but to trust that our Guide is capable and knows the way.    

But here is my point: (FINALLY, you say!)  I don’t want to only walk with God on Tuesday afternoons.  If I am honest, much of my life is out of my direct control, isn’t it?  While I can control my attitude and how I spend my time, I cannot control the people, places or things around me.  I have no idea what the future holds, so wouldn't it be to my benefit to walk with God all week long?  To live every day "continutally God-aware?"  What lessons learned on Tuesday afternoons might I take into the rest of the week?

Perhaps these are a few of the things I am learning:

• Acknowledge that someone else knows the path better than I do.
• Prepare for the journey, but remember someone else is in charge.
• Follow the Guide and listen for directions.
• Pause along the way and notice the beauty of the walk. 
• Be aware of and grateful for the sacred and holy that cross my path, seeing that potential for sacredness and holiness in everything and everyone.
• Be willing to take detours and even to follow the “road less traveled.” 

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

 

 

God is REAL

Psalm 18:1-3

 ¹ I love you, O LORD, my strength.

 ² The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;  

       my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. 
       He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 ³ I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, 
       and I am saved from my enemies.

We began our bible study time at the Lamb Center yesterday discussing adoration- the practice of expressing our love to the Lord.  As we read the verses above, we talked about the intimacy of the way David repeated the term MY over and over.  He clearly had experienced the Presence of God personally.  For David, this God was REAL and this God was HIS God.

In attendance yesterday was a young woman new to the Lamb Center.  She was there with her 3 small children; all under the age of 4.  As we spoke, she expertly and lovingly cared for her babies; rocking one to sleep, offering play-doh to keep another busy, finding a snack for another.  As we spoke about David's personal God, she listened carefully and then asked this question:  Is there a time that WE had experienced God in such a way that we knew He was real?  That He was really there? 

This question opened up a time of sharing that I will treasure forever.  It wasn't a large group around the table, but each of us shared a time when God reached down into our lives and made Himself known in a personal, intimate way.  Most everyone shared, some in more detail than others. Truly, as is often the case at the Lamb Center, it wasn't always clear who was a guest, a volunteer or staff as we passed around the tissue box and wiped away our tears of gratitude for the gracious God we had each met.  Those worldly barriers meant very little as we shared the experience of God's unexpected, intimate, gentle, comforting, encouraging Hand in our lives.

There was one story with which our young mother seemed to be particularly interested.   M shared that she had been living, in her words, in a "very dark place."  She had gotten herself into a particularly difficult financial circumstance and was in danger of losing the one thing that meant the most to her...the one thing that kept her connected to her daughter who she cherished.  In this desperate circumstance, she ran across a stranger who she asked for money.  He, like Peter at the gate called Beautiful (Acts 3,) told her "Gold and silver I do not have, but what I have I give you."  He laid out his bible on the hood of his car, took her hands in his and led her in a prayer of surrender to a Jesus who she had told him she was not "really into."  He told her that it was ok to go to Jesus with all her reservations, all her doubts, all her skepticism.  From that moment on, her life has been transformed. Like the beggar at the temple gate, she has experienced healing beyond that which she had originally asked.  She begged for money, and received new life.  As she told the young mother the many concrete, personal ways that God had redeemed her life, tears ran down her face and she said "God is real!  This is all real!  It is all true!  He is SO good!"

As I told her after the bible study, M was now getting to experience one of the great joys of Kingdom living.  By sharing what God had done in her life, she was able to bless another person....an opportunity to give back a portion of what she had been given.  God blesses us, so that we can be a blessing.  I experience God's love more deeply, as I share that love with another.  I understand the depth of my love for Him as I see Him at work in the lives of His people.  While I SOMETIMES feel His presence and His power in my moments alone with Him, I almost ALWAYS feel His presence and power in real moments of community like what we often experience around the table at the Lamb Center.   We are not meant to walk this journey alone; God wired us to live in community and to encourage one another as we try to serve Him.

God is real!  It is all true!  He is SO good! 

 

Prayer and Relationship: Lessons from Philly, Part 2

Our mission experience last week in Philadelphia was hosted by Adventures in Mission (AIM.)  Marcus, Kathy, Maddie, Melissa, Doug and Sara were wonderful guides, teachers, cheerleaders and partners as we sought to serve the community and grow closer to the Lord while we were in Philadelphia. 

At some point early in the week, Marcus said something during one of his talks with us that really resonated with me and continues to do so.  In fact, I would venture to say that this one sentence encompasses the power of what we experienced in Philadelphia last week.  Here is what he said:

"Prayer and relationship are the currency of Heaven."

I invite you to ponder that sentence for a moment.  Prayer and relationship are the currency of the Kingdom of Heaven. Prayer and relationship, relationship and prayer.  Prayer and relationship are the currency...the medium of exchange...that draws us into the Kingdom.  The Kingdom comes into focus as we invest in prayer and relationship.  Our experience of and participation in the Kingdom is intimately connected to our experience of and participation in prayer and relationship.  While I don't think this is new information to me, something about the simplicity of the sentence struck a chord with me.

One of the parts of this mission trip that I particularly enjoyed was the emphasis on prayer; not just talking to God, but truly creating the space to really LISTEN to God.  Every morning, before we did any activity that could be called "ministry," we were asked to spend a significant amount of time in prayer.  We prayed individually and we prayed collectively.  We invited God to speak to us about particular scriptures and we invited God to speak to us about where we should serve that day.  Although I would consider myself a person of prayer, I realized through our experience in Philadelphia how hurried and limited my prayers often are at home.  If I'm honest, back in Virginia, I often make my to-do list and schedule my "ministry" activities and then ask God to be with me as I run, run, run.  Here's my plan, Lord, please bless it!  By contrast, in Philadelphia, we were invited to enter into an ongoing conversation with God each day and ask Him to show us where to go, step-by-step, opening our eyes along the way to see Him powerfully at work. In Philadelphia, we asked God to surprise us and allow us to do things we could only do through His power.  As I consider the lessons from our time in Philly, I am beginning to think maybe my "Virginia" prayers are much too safe!

The other facet of this "currency" that draws us closer to experiencing the Kingdom here on earth is relationship; our relationship with God and our relationship with others. Through seeking the heart of God and taking time to really connect to the people He places in our path, we experience life as we were designed to live it.  A return to the Garden, if you will.  While we were in Philadelphia, and even before our departure thanks to the sermon we heard the morning we left, we asked God to give us "people eyes"...eyes that REALLY saw the child of God that was standing, sitting, playing, walking in front of us. As we prayed together and worked together, we experienced a deepening of our relationships with one another and a strengthening of the bonds that brought us to this place as a team.  Without the distractions of our busy Northern Virginia lives (including cell phones and computers,) we all had the opportunity to share at a deeper level and be better listeners with one another. As we grew closer to one another and to God, we were filled with His love and the confidence to risk a little more in our relationships with the strangers we met...the strangers who became our friends.  The children at day camp, the lady in the neighborhood, the homeless man at the coffeehouse on Kensington Ave....all part of this greater Kingdom that expands and grows as we open our heart to a bigger, deeper, better Love and offer ourselves to be used as agents of God's healing.  Connected to one another, strengthened by our bonds in Him, we are stronger and better equipped to go out be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I say this every time I get back from one of these mission trips with our youth, but I am just blown away by these kids.  I signed up for my first mission trip as an adult in 2007 because both my kids were going and I thought it would be wonderful for us to share the experience.  Since then, I go each year because I am completely inspired and awed and humbled by seeing our students in action.  It is a privilege to partner with them in this Kingdom work; our future is in good hands if these kids are a reflection of the next generation.  As one of my favorite songs from the musical Wicked says "because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

Prayer and relationship are the currency of the Kingdom of Heaven.  Thanks, Marcus!

Splanchnizomai and Brokenness: Lessons from Philly, Part 1

My eldest and I just returned this weekend from a mission trip to the inner city of Philadelphia. This was our senior high mission trip and we traveled with a total of 55 kids and adults from suburban Virginia.  As I have found with the previous mission trips in which I have participated, this was a profound, life-changing week where I learned more about God's heart...His heart for me, His heart for the students with whom I served and His heart for this broken world in which we live.  I have spent the days since our return trying to form words to describe our experience.

During our time in Philadelphia, we were given a devotional to use for our times of private reflection, devotion and prayer.  Through this devotional, I learned a new word which I can not even remotely pronounce "splanchnizomai." Splanchnizomai is a Greek word that takes its origin from another Greek wording referencing "the bowels or intestines."  This word refers to that sense of feeling something deep in our gut.  We can all relate perhaps to feeling things in the pit of our stomach?  In Jesus time, they would have referred to the bowels...or the "gut"...as the center of our emotions, in the same way that we refer to the heart today.  Our devotional guide told us that "splanchnizomai" was only used 12 times when the New Testament was originally written in Greek.  Each time, this word is used in reference to Jesus or God and is most often translated "moved with compassion." This word tells us the story of our Lord, deep in His gut, being moved by the needs of others and, in every case, being moved to action by that emotion.  Our God, our brother Jesus, is a God of deep, heart-felt, gut-wrenching compassion.

Our trip last week was, in many ways, all about allowing God to develop this kind of compassion in each of us.  We prayed for God to break our hearts for the things that break His.  Because we made ourselves available to see the world through God's eyes, all of us walked away changed to some degree.  Some of my favorite moments of our trip occurred during our debrief each evening when the kids were given the opportunity to share what God was doing in and through them that day.  It was powerful.  While those are not my stories to share, I can tell you about my own experience.

On Wednesday of last week, we began our day with the opportunity to pray individually and as a group about how to spend our morning.  On Monday and Tuesday, each group was given specific assignments about how to spend our morning (we all served in one of two VBS sites in the afternoons.)  On Wednesday, we were given a couple of choices and asked to spend some time praying about where God might be leading us to go.  I quickly joined the group that felt led to go to Kensington Avenue to pick up trash and be available to minister to the people that God might put in our path while we were there.  We loaded up two vans full of teenagers and, along the way, stopped to purchase bags full of Slim Jims, cheese sticks, breakfast bars and water bottles to share with those we met who might be in need of food.  We arrived on Kensington Ave., parked our vans and took to the streets armed with trash bags, gloves and bags of goodies.

If you are unfamiliar with Kensington Avenue, as I was, these were streets that I would not have traversed without several large teenage boys as my companions.  These are not streets that anyone cares about or loves...these streets were overflowing with the refuse of people who have lost hope.  The trash alone was overwhelming.  As we walked along and filled bag after bag with trash, I tried to make eye contact with every person we passed and offer a greeting.  A few people were curious about what we were doing and we stopped to talk to them.  A gentleman in his 80s named Bob shared his experience of a lifetime of watching the decline of this neighborhood, his despair as he watched so many young lives stolen by drugs and crime, his determination to teach his own children a different way.  He joined hands in prayer with our little group of 5 and offered a blessing for us...his new friends and brothers and sisters in the Lord.  We also talked to and prayed with Lloyd and Michael who both shared that they were headed back to rehab and were believing that this time, the Lord would set them free from the addictions that had enslaved them for so long.

While I was blessed by the opportunities to encourage these folks we met along the way, the majority of the people we passed seemed oblivious to their surroundings...like they had given up entirely. Either anesthetized by chemicals or depression, noone was home inside.   As I tried to make eye contact, time after time I was met with dead eyes.  Eyes so full of hopelessness that they no longer saw the human beings around them.  Eyes so tired, so weary...the images from scripture about "crushed bones" came to mind. Bone crushing weariness, bone-crushing despair. The light was gone from so many eyes and the sense of brokenness was palpable...and there was NOTHING I could do to make a difference.  During our drive back to our lodgings for lunch, my van was almost entirely silent.  As tears streamed down my face and the face of the young woman who sat in the front seat with me, these words were on the radio reminding me that the Kingdom is coming:

Though it's not easy 

But faithfully, I will wait ,Yes, I will wait 

I will serve You while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting 

I will serve You while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting 

I will serve you while I'm waiting, I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Over lunch, I had occasion to share my broken heart with some of the other adult leaders and we found that we were all in a similar state of mind.  We talked about brokenness and remembered that God does not ask us to surrender our hearts to be broken and then allow us to stay broken.  Our God is a God of healing, redemption and renewal.  Our God is a God of hope and new life.  Our God is a God of mercy and restoration. Like a broken bone that is re-set and heals stronger than before, our broken hearts surrendered to God are transformed.  Ezekiel 36:26 (New Living)  "And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."  As we moved into the afternoon's activities, I waited in expectation to see what God would do next.

That evening, we had the opportunity to go back to Kensington Avenue to attend a coffeehouse.  Stuck on a vacant lot in between two buildings, we found a gravelled oasis where several times a week the local residents are invited in for music, coffee, lemonade and good news.  The local ministry who runs this coffeehouse is a consistent presence there in that neighborhood.  The two gentlemen who we met from their ministry had been rescued from those very streets and found renewal and healing through the power of God working through similar ministries.  Both have families now and were a testament to the fact that God had not given up on the people of Kensington Ave.  As the evening unfolded, I had the privilege of spending almost 2 hours talking and sharing and praying with Maurice, Kenny and Greg.  Their stories are not mine to share, but suffice it to say that God is working powerfully in the lives of these folks.  As I looked around to the other picnic tables at our students, including my eldest, listening, sharing and ministering to these our brothers and sisters from the streets of Philly, my heart found healing.  God IS at work through His people as we allow ourselves to be used as His hands and feet.   Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself = the kingdom of God brought down to earth.  A little glimpse of heaven.  In allowing me to see and experience the coffeehouse that night, the Lord reminded me that engaging in the process of compassion matters.  Caring about this broken world, although sometimes painful, allows us to see people through God's eyes and offer hope....whether in the ghetto of Philly or in the relative comfort of Northern Virginia.  Sometimes all we can offer is to look someone in the eye and listen to their story.  Like the loaves and fishes, God can multiply our humble efforts into healing and restoration and new life.  What a privilege!!

More tomorrow!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." ~Saint Teresa of Avila

I posted the quote above as my Facebook status one day last week and was interested to see how many people responded positively to it.  Since then, I have been thinking about what it means to be Christ's hands and feet on earth.  Clearly, this idea resonates with people, but how do we go about doing it?

It seems to me that we might begin to "be" Christ's hands and feet by considering how Jesus used his hands and feet while He was walking among us.  Jesus, God Incarnate, lived on earth in human form and, before He returned to the Father, promised that we who had faith in Him would do "greater things than these." (John 14:12) Through the writers of scripture, we have a record of the way Jesus lived out His earthly existence and these stories offer us clues on how we might continue His work.  

First, Jesus knew that He had to spend time with the Father in order to know where to go and what to do next. Throughout the gospels, we hear that Jesus often "withdrew to a solitary place" in order to hear from His Heavenly Father.  Jesus says this in John 5:19 (the Message):

I'm telling you this straight.  The Son can't independently do a thing, only what He sees the Father doing.  What the Father does, the Son does.  The Father loves the Son and includes Him in everything He is doing.  

If Jesus needed down time with His Father, how much more must that apply to us?  I have found that even my most well-intentioned attempts to do God's will are useless unless I regularly "withdraw to a solitary place" to listen to my Father. Through time in His word, sharing my heart in prayer AND being still enough to listen, I begin to see the path God has for me to get involved in what He is doing in my little part of His world.  Without that time, I find that I am often tilting at windmills.

Secondly, Jesus was willing to be interrupted as He went about the work the Father had given Him to do.  Most of the accounts that we have of Jesus interacting with people and performing miracles begin with a phrase like "as Jesus went on from there."  He was often traveling to another destination when someone approached Him in need of healing.  While His disciples often tried to discourage or deter these seekers, Jesus always had time for the people who crossed His path.  Jesus was all about relationship.  In these instances, He made the choice to stop and offer healing and care to the persons involved.  Because He was not overly tied to His agenda of the moment, He could attend to the higher purposes for which He was sent.  In our own lives, we similarly have the choice to view the unexpected, the unplanned and the inconvenient interruptions we encounter as precious opportunities for ministry....divine appointments to realize our own role in bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven.  

Third, Jesus was willing to get His hands dirty.  One of my favorite stories about Jesus was the time He chose to wash the feet of His disciples in order to teach them about being a servant.  In their culture, washing dirty feet was the lowliest of jobs, yet Jesus got on His knees and tenderly washed and dried the dust-covered feet of those He loved most and then entreated them to do the same in His name.  In fact, He said clearly in John 13:15  "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."  As I seek to find the "important" work that I can do in God's Kingdom, I sometimes overlook the opportunities for smaller acts of service...acts that become holy when done from a place of love and grace and gratitude.  Life is messy.  People are complicated.  Getting our hands dirty; literally or figuratively, requires a willingness to get involved in the middle of the mess and complications.  Yet, that is exactly what Jesus has called us to do.  I have written on this before and I quoted this song from Michael Card in its entirety.  Here is my favorite part:

And the space between ourselves sometimes
is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
we take up the basin and the towel.

Finally, if we are to truly become Jesus' hands and feet, we must share His love for "the least of these."  This is the hard part of the gospel message for us sometimes.  Jesus was revolutionary in His approach to the downtrodden and forgotten in His society.  He touched lepers, He welcomed women and children, He dined with criminals, He championed the poor, He defended the powerless.  Jesus spent His time on earth with the hated and the outcasts and claimed that He had come to "preach good news to the poor."  There are a number of examples of this in scripture.  Here are just a few:

• He tells of a rich man and a poor one, and how the poor man goes to heaven and the rich man doesn’t.(Luke 16:19-31)  
• He tells of others who’ll be surprised they didn’t get into paradise because they didn’t take care of Him when He was hungry or in prison. They object that they never saw Him that way; He replies that whenever they neglected the hungry or imprisoned or unclothed, they neglected Him (Matthew 25.)  
• He says it’s harder for a rich person to enter heaven than a camel to go through the eye of a needle. He tells a rich man only one thing is between him and the Kingdom: he needs to sell what he has and give it to the poor (Mark 10:17-31.)
  

While Jesus came to reconcile us ALL to the Father, He is clear that He expects us to take care of one another and to begin with "the least of these."  God does not call all of us to sell everything we have and give it all to the poor, but He does call us to get involved and allow Him to show us how.  If I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I have to open my eyes to the suffering in the world and allow my heart to be broken by those things that break the heart of the Father.  Because there is so much brokenness in our world, I can become overwhelmed by the need and throw my hands up in despair.  I recently read a book that addressed these issues in a profound way and gave me hope for the Church.  Please read it, if this topic tugs at your heart.  It is called The Hole in Our Gospel. Bottom line: we each can make a difference and it matters that we try...God is at work in the world and we can be part of it.  We can be the hands and feet of Jesus in our part of the world...what a privilege!

To Him be the Glory

I started my day buying two cartloads of groceries in preparation for the BIG storm headed our way.  Apparently, we are expecting 16-24 inches of snow over the weekend...which means I am expecting my whole family to be hanging around AND anticipating roving tribes of hungry teenagers to end up at my house!  Feed them and they will come. :-)  The grocery store was crazy, they were out of a number of things, but I kept running into friends and it was actually a fairly festive atmosphere. 

As I unloaded the obscene amount of groceries that I had purchased, I was mulling over in my mind my topic for bible study this afternoon.  As many of you know, I study the bible with my friends at the Lamb Center every Tuesday and most Thursday afternoons.  The Lamb Center is a day shelter for the homeless and many of my bible study friends have very little in the way of worldly possessions...most will sleep tonight in the local Hypothermia Shelter provided during the winter months by local area churches.  With the upcoming storm on all of our minds, I decided to see what scripture had to say about shelter and refuge.  As expected, I found some wonderful words of hope in the book of Psalms.

On the way to the Lamb Center, I had the opportunity to spend an hour with one of my favorite people.  This dear friend is one of the most brilliant, funny, compassionate people that I have ever had the privilege to know.  We speak a similar language and our hearts are tuned to a similar song.  She is experiencing some challenges right now.  Although my offering was simply a listening ear, I was blessed to share some tears and some laughter with her, connected by our common belief that God doesn't intend for us to stay stuck in the hard places and that our way out will be illuminated when we reach out our hand and choose not to walk this rocky path alone.  As I left, my eyes filled with tears as I offered prayers of gratitude for the privilege of this friendship and God's presence in the midst of it.

At the Lamb Center, I was once again humbled and amazed at the palpable sense of God's presence around our table.  The words we found in scripture reminded us that, regardless of our present circumstances, our refuge is in God alone.  We went around the table and shared stories about the times when we experienced God as our refuge, our shelter, our fortress.  As always, I was touched by the insight and depth of my fellow sojourners' revelations and by the faithfulness God had shown to each one who shared their story.  My favorite moment came when we were discussing Psalm 46.  One of the best known verses from the Psalm is verse 10 "Be still and know that I am God."  As we discussed the ways in which God invites us to "be still," my friend J. says he hears God speak those words into his spirit in this way; "Sit down, boy.  I got this!"  We all loved that!  Being a southern lady, I decided the Lord would be more likely to tell me "Sit down, darlin'.  I got this!"  Nothing like a gentle reminder about who is God...and who is NOT God!

At the end of our bible study time, we move into a time of prayer.  Our prayer time is always meaningful, but today was especially moving as a number of people lifted up their heartfelt gratitude for the ways in which God has shown Himself to be their refuge and their rock.  Truly, I can only remember a few other times when I felt the Presence of the Lord as strongly as I did today as we prayed together.  I fought back tears throughout the prayer time and exchanged hugs with many of the bible study participants as we talked afterwards about what a powerful time of worship we had experienced around that table together.  As I was leaving, my dear friend P. ran in to tell me that she was sorry that she had missed bible study.  She and her husband have recently become homeless again after a layoff, yet she has the most beautiful spirit of joy and completely trusts that God has them right where He wants them to be and will sustain them until they are able to find housing again.  They feel that they can really minister to others at the hypothermia shelter while they are in these circumstances and had run to their storage unit to get some movies for the upcoming snowy weekend.  She hugged me and said not to worry, they were doing just fine.  The tears returned as I drove home...not tears of sadness, although I am certainly concerned about my friends in this weather...but rather tears of gratitude for the privilege of witnessing God at work so powerfully. 

Back home again, I was thinking about writing a blog entry about this deep sense I felt today of God's hand at work in the lives of myself and my friends.  How blessed and humbled I feel when He opens my eyes and whispers in my ear "I am here" or reminds me that I can rest in the knowledge that He has it all under control...both in my life and in the lives of those I love.  For some reason, today I just felt so grateful that I needed to share it.

As I thought about this and considered what I wanted to say, I had occasion to talk to my mom in Texas.  She works in a charity thrift store once a week...a place like our local WFCM Clothes Closet that provides low or no cost clothing for those in need.  She told me the most amazing story, starting with the prayer she prayed on her way there today.  She asked God to give her the opportunity to really connect to the people who came in to the store, a prayer that she would have the opportunity to offer more than just clothing.  I'm not sure if she realized it, but God answers this prayer in the affirmative every day of her life.  He wired her that way...she has the most amazing gift of making people around her feel special.  In her presence, people feel that they are truly loved.  On this day, she was simply offering up herself and asking to be used by God...and God said YES!

A women came in the store and my mom remembered her from a previous visit.  She greeted her by name and they began talking.  While the lady looked at clothing, she shared about her life and experience with my mom...a difficult life that God had redeemed in a number of amazing ways.  Eventually, she shared that she had recently auditioned for "America: You've Got Talent" and done quite well.  With that information, my mom asked her to sing for them.  As the store was fairly empty, my mom's new friend obliged.  They were all blessed by her beautiful voice and, as she was singing, they looked up to see another regular volunteer enter the store.  She joined them as the lady finished her song.  The newest member of the audience immediately asked for the singer's name and number, explaining that she ran a talent agency and would love to help her continue to pursue her singing!  They all marveled at God's providence and the unlikely "coincidence" that led to this woman singing at that moment in that little store surrounded by these new, encouraging friends.  They were so moved by this series of events, that they decided to join together in prayer right then and praise God for His grace.  My mom said she has never felt closer to the Lord in her life than she did standing in that store praying with this former stranger and giving God all the glory for the work He had done and was doing in the lives of this group of women from very different backgrounds.  As my mom told me this story, I found myself with tears running down my face once again, humbled and grateful for yet another reminder of how God lives right smack in the middle of how we show love to one another.

An amazing day!  For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever.  Amen!

Undefiled Worship

This is my new favorite song.  We saw this video at church a couple of weeks ago.  Our guest preacher for the morning was Pastor Pat from New Hope Fellowship and she brought this video to share with us.  New Hope is a small congregation that meets in a community center and is comprised primarily of homeless and formerly homeless men, women and children.  The church provides transportation to the church and a hot meal after the service.  Many of the New Hope folks also spend time at the Lamb Center, the day shelter for the homeless where I spend several hours a week.  Because Pastor Pat was speaking at our church that Sunday, we invited her congregation to join us for worship and lunch.  It was a joy for me to greet some of my friends from the Lamb Center and worship side by side with them in our church home.  I was so thrilled to see our church reach out and support the work that Pastor Pat at New Hope and Dave L. from the Lamb Center are doing in our community and to offer Holy hospitality to these brothers and sisters...the church being The Church.  It was truly a blessed day and this video brought tears to my eyes.  Enjoy!!

Feed My Sheep

While we were on vacation a couple of weeks ago, I read a fabulous book.  While any book is fairly fabulous when read by the ocean :-), this one really captured my attention and has continued to simmer beneath the surface for me.  The book is called Take this Bread: A Radical Conversion and it was written by author Sara Miles.  

Having grown up in the church, I am increasingly interested in what draws people to the Christian walk later in their lives...what about Jesus is compelling for them?  How does "the church" help in that process of drawing someone to Jesus and how, as it so often does, does the church get in the way?   Sara was a completely secular person who wandered into a church at the age of 46, took communion and fell in love with Jesus.  Her life up to that point, while fascinating and full of adventure (war coorespondent/ freedom fighter/ chef,) did not in any way seem to be that of a person who would be drawn to the traditional church.  Yet, her journey to a life-transforming, world-changing walk with Jesus happened...in spite of her own biases against the church and, frankly, the church's biases against her.  I was taken with her sense of humor, her humility and her tremendous insights into what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ in a broken world.  Most of all, I was moved by her passion for the Lord and her compassion for His children.

Sara's faith journey eventually leads her to open up a food pantry for the "least of these" in an impoverished, multi-cultural neighborhood in San Francisco.  What she learned about herself, her God and her fellow human beings resonated with me on many levels; both in terms of my own love for and frustrations with the church and, more recently, with my life changing experiences at the Lamb Center.  Here are a few of my favorite excerpts from the book:

"Caught up in the moment, every moment, I didn't know that those war years would be formative Christian experiences.  They would introduce me not only to big Christian themes--love, death, fear, and sacrifice among them--but to hard lessons about what it means to be a Christian.  Long before I went to church or ran a food pantry, wars would reveal my weaknesses and mistakes---sins, to use a word that never occurred to me then---and make me find a way to continue working, past shame.  They showed me how helpless I was to save anyone, or to fix suffering, and how it mattered anyway for me to be there with people.  I'd have to learn to receive when I was proud and give when I was burned-out and poke around in strange places without knowing what I was going to uncover."

"...I didn't 'deserve' communion myself now.  I wasn't getting it because I was good.  I wasn't getting it because I was special.  I certainly didn't get to pick who else was good enough, holy enough, deserving enough, to receive it.  It wasn't a private meal.  The bread on that Table had to be shared with everyone in order for me to really taste it....I was not going to get to sit by myself and think loftily about how much Jesus loved me in particular.  I was not going to get to have dinner, eternally, with people just like me. I was going to get communion, whether I wanted it or not, with people I didn't necessarily like.  People I didn't choose...but, the people who God chose for me.      I ate the bread.    Conversion isn't, after all, a moment: It's a process, and it keeps happening, with cycles of acceptance and resistance, epiphany and doubt."

"You can't be a Christian by yourself was a lesson I though I'd grasped...but the conceit of individual salvation remained a powerfully tempting one.  Offering groceries to all comers around the altar, I would discover how painfully like church the food pantry really was: how it asked me to leave the certainties of past behind, tangled me up with people I didn't particularly want to know, and frightened me with its demand for more that I was ready to give."

"I think we are called to something harder than being conventional 'Good Samaritans.'  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, being rescued by strangers and foreigners, by the wrong people.  To understand ourselves, individually and as a church, as beaten, hungry, hurting, lost at the side of the road.  Called to touch the parts of ourselves that are strange and damaged and needy.  Called to receive love from people we don't know and have no reason to trust.  And only then, in turn, being called to the second part: to go and do the same thing---knowing it will change us in ways we didn't plan and may not like."

"All of it pointed to a force stronger than the anxious formulas of religion: a radically inclusive love that accompanied people in the most ordinary of actions--eating, drinking, walking--and stayed with them through fear, even past death.  That love meant giving yourself away, embracing outsiders as family, emptying yourself to feed and live for others.  The stories illuminated the holiness located in mortal human bodies, and the promise that people could see God by cherishing all those different bodies the way God did.  They spoke of a communion so much vaster than any church could contain: one I had sensed all my life could be expressed in the sharing of food, particularly with strangers. 

I couldn't stop think about another story: Jesus instructed his beloved, fallible disciple Peter exactly how to love Him: 'Feed my sheep.'  Jesus asked, 'Do you love me?'  Peter fussed: 'Of course I love you.'  'Feed my sheep'  Peter fussed some more.  'Do you love me?' asked Jesus again.  'Then feed my sheep.'

It seemed pretty clear.  If I wanted to see God, I could feed people."

Helping, Fixing, Serving

I can't believe that it has been almost a  month since I have posted an entry.  Ideas run through my mind all the time, but I can't seem to make it to the computer to share them here.  The Lord is good and continues to show Himself to me in so many ways.  We are headed to the ocean for vacation for Spring Break and I am hoping to find some time to write while there.  Sitting by the sea always inspires reflection for me.

Probably the most meaningful facet of my life that God has given me this year is the opportunity to serve at the Lamb Center each week.  I see God's presence there so powerfully and I am humbled that He has called me to be part of that community.  Isn't it interesting that the things that mean the most to us can often be the most difficult to describe to others? 

I read this essay by Rachel Naomi Remen in our Lamb Center policy manual.  While I would use the words "Kingdom of God" where she uses the terms "wholeness and mystery of life," her reflections about the nature of service and how it feeds the spirit of the server resonate so profoundly for me.  The truths found in the essay below beautifully describe the service that I see happening at the Lamb Center; a way of seeing life and living life to which I aspire. This season, learning to live life as a servant of the King in all aspects of my life...home, friendships, church, as well as volunteer work...is the focus of God's teaching and guidance to me.  As it says below, service comes from a place of gratitude, not obligation.  I hope you find the words below as meaningful as I did. 

In the Service of Life
In recent years the question how can I help? has become meaningful to many people. But perhaps there is a deeper question we might consider. Perhaps the real question is not how can I help? but how can I serve?

Serving is different from helping. Helping is based on inequality; it is not a relationship between equals. When you help you use your own strength to help those of lesser strength. If I'm attentive to what's going on inside of me when I'm helping, I find that I'm always helping someone who's not as strong as I am, who is needier than I am. People feel this inequality. When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them; we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity and wholeness. When I help I am very aware of my own strength. But we don't serve with our strength, we serve with ourselves. We draw from all of our experiences. Our limitations serve, our wounds serve, even our darkness can serve. The wholeness in us serves the wholeness in others and the wholeness in life. The wholeness in you is the same as the wholeness in me. Service is a relationship between equals.

Helping incurs debt. When you help someone they owe you one. But serving, like healing, is mutual. There is no debt. I am as served as the person I am serving. When I help I have a feeling of satisfaction. When I serve I have a feeling of gratitude. These are very different things.

Serving is also different from fixing. When I fix a person I perceive them as broken, and their brokenness requires me to act. When I fix I do not see the wholeness in the other person or trust the integrity of the life in them. When I serve I see and trust that wholeness. It is what I am responding to and collaborating with.

There is distance between ourselves and whatever or whomever we are fixing. Fixing is a form of judgment. All judgment creates distance, a disconnection, an experience of difference. In fixing there is an inequality of expertise that can easily become a moral distance. We cannot serve at a distance. We can only serve that to which we are profoundly connected, that which we are willing to touch. This is Mother Teresa's basic message. We serve life not because it is broken but because it is holy.

If helping is an experience of strength, fixing is an experience of mastery and expertise. Service, on the other hand, is an experience of mystery, surrender and awe. A fixer has the illusion of being causal. A server knows that he or she is being used and has a willingness to be used in the service of something greater, something essentially unknown. Fixing and helping are very personal; they are very particular, concrete and specific. We fix and help many different things in our lifetimes, but when we serve we are always serving the same thing. Everyone who has ever served through the history of time serves the same thing. We are servers of the wholeness and mystery in life.

The bottom line, of course, is that we can fix without serving. And we can help without serving. And we can serve without fixing or helping. I think I would go so far as to say that fixing and helping may often be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul. They may look similar if you're watching from the outside, but the inner experience is different. The outcome is often different, too.

Our service serves us as well as others. That which uses us strengthens us. Over time, fixing and helping are draining, depleting. Over time we burn out. Service is renewing. When we serve, our work itself will sustain us.

Service rests on the basic premise that the nature of life is sacred, that life is a holy mystery which has an unknown purpose. When we serve, we know that we belong to life and to that purpose. Fundamentally, helping, fixing and service are ways of seeing life. When you help you see life as weak, when you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. From the perspective of service, we are all connected: All suffering is like my suffering and all joy is like my joy. The impulse to serve emerges naturally and inevitably from this way of seeing.

Lastly, fixing and helping are the basis of curing, but not of healing. In 40 years of chronic illness I have been helped by many people and fixed by a great many others who did not recognize my wholeness. All that fixing and helping left me wounded in some important and fundamental ways. Only service heals.

Around the Table

Last Monday night, my husband and I had dinner with a bunch of "powerful" people.  There were 9 of us for dinner, including the two of us.  I won't give names because I would hate for someone to Google one of these nice people and end up here on my silly blog, where there is a high likelihood of me saying something that could be embarrassing for someone running for high office.  I will just describe it like this: in attendance were three sitting judges, a gentleman who was a member of the Cabinet of two former Presidents, a high level political consultant who served as a senior advisor to Obama in his recent campaign, and our host, the Governor of one of our neighboring states.  We dined in a 54 room mansion that was built in the 19th century, surrounded by treasures dripping with historical significance. 

Initially, I was awe-struck by being in the Governor's Mansion, surrounded by people whose names I had read and whose pictures I had seen.  It was one of those "pinching yourself" kind of occasions.  Yet, as the evening wore on, I found that the people with whom I was dining were just....well, people.  Yes, they had some fascinating stories to tell.  Yes, they were incredibly bright and well informed about politics and government.  But, they also talked about their grand-kids and their kids.  We looked at some funny red spots on their youngest son and did that "mom" thing as we tried to figure out what they were.  We talked about teaching teenage daughters to drive and the high cost of sending your kids to college.  By the end of the evening, we were laughing and talking like old friends sharing a meal around the table...something I have done many times before with many different people.  My primary feeling when I left was "these people are just like me."

The next day, I gathered around a different table, with a different group of people.  As I do every Tuesday afternoon, I joined with my homeless friends at the Lamb Center for afternoon bible study.  The topic I chose for that day was God's strength in our weakness.  We began by singing "Jesus Loves Me," a song we all knew by heart.  We delved into what scripture says about God's strength and power being "made perfect in our weakness" and shared what those verses meant to us.  We explored how difficult it is to admit our weakness and related common struggles that we all have in really surrendering to God's authority, even when we know that His grace is sufficient for whatever we are facing.  Two of the gentlemen shared from the heart about how God's grace and strength had gotten them through a time of great darkness and loss in their lives...they had similar stories and one of them was especially encouraged by this brother of his who was further along in his journey of healing.  Gathering around that table on that day, I was struck by the holiness of that place.  My primary feeling when I left was "these people are just like me."

Two vastly different worlds, neither of which I would consider the place  where I "live" on a day to day basis. While I can try to offer a helping hand and a listening ear to my homeless friends, I can't truly understand what it must be like to sleep in the woods on a cold night.  While I can visit the Governor's mansion, I can only imagine what it is like to live your life in a media fishbowl and have your every move and word analyzed.  Yet, in spite of the differences in our daily environment, the things that connect us are so much more meaningful than the things that separate us.  Our common humanity, our struggle to make sense of the place where we find ourselves, to find meaning in this journey...these things make us human and draw us together.  The people with whom I shared a meal on Monday, the people with whom I shared the Word last Tuesday and again today, each and every one of them are God's beloved creation, made in His image...just like me.  The important thing for me to remember is that God loves each of us...my Monday friends AND my Tuesday friends... equally, completely, passionately. 

Start by Noticing

As I mentioned in my last serious post ...you know, the ones that DON'T mock our political candidates...I have been thinking a lot about what I gleaned from our Outflow series that our church just completed.  One of the speakers in the last video suggested that, as we become more interested in finding ways to pour out God's love to a hurting world, we might begin by simply "noticing."  Noticing the people whom God puts in our path each day...noticing the look in their eyes, the tone of their voice, the deep sigh, the pause.  As God opens our eyes, we will have the opportunity to see God at work and have the privilege of joining in.

I am reading a book right now by Dallas Willard called Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God.  The chapter I most recently read tied in beautifully with the experiences and observations I have had in recent months, including they ways I have seen the Outflow curriculum apply in my daily life.  The primary focus of the book, as you may have gathered from the title, is the ways in which we speak to God and God speaks to us.  The author suggests that there are two primary ways that God offers us personal guidance in our every day lives.  "First, God communicates through what we will recognize as a voice or words addressed to- or even through -us."  The foremost way we hear His Word to us is through scripture and prayer.  These are certainly ways of God speaking with which most Christians are familiar. 

The author describes the second way of hearing from God as "discerning God's voice in shared activity."  He further describes it like this:

There is a second way in which the intentions and thoughts of God are communicated to those who are with Him.  It is one that involves a much more active role on the part of the recipient and is very common among those who are most mature in his family or kingdom.  Here we come to understand what God wants us to understand through immersion with Him in His work...

The author goes on to liken this relationship to what the Psalmist described as being "guided by God's eye (Psalm 32:8 KJV)"  He describes it like this:

This happens when we are working or playing closely with another and know the intentions and thoughts of the other's mind by our awareness of what they are focused upon....  In many cases our need to wonder about or be told what God wants in a certain situation is nothing short of a clear indication of how little we are engaged in His work.

 Now here is the REALLY exciting part...the part that gives me goosebumps:

So our union with God---His presence with us, in which our aloneness is banished and the meaning and full purpose of human existence is realized---consists chiefly in a conversational relationship with God while we are each consistently and deeply engaged as His friend and co-laborer in the affairs of the kingdom of the heavens.

Isn't that awesome?  We are talking about working side by side with God...noticing Him at work in our world and choosing to get off the couch and join Him in that work.  His life-affirming, unconditionally loving, transformational work that He is ALREADY doing all around us.  I think what the author is trying to communicate to us is that sometimes we need to get out of our prayer closet, put down our bible study and get out there and get our hands dirty, if we really want to hear God's voice.

Don't get me wrong.  Time spent in prayer and bible study is NEVER wasted.  I just know that I have seen too many people, myself included, get stuck there wondering what God is trying to say to them about doing His kingdom work.  We can be paralyzed by trying to figure out what great and wonderful thing God is calling us to do.  What I am hearing lately says "JUST GO!!"  Go out into my world...the grocery store, my kid's schools, my nail salon, the church, the Lamb Center...and open my eyes!  See what God is focused on and head that direction.  There are people hurting all around us who are desperate to hear some good news...to have someone listen to their story with no judgement and no agenda.  I think we start by noticing where God is at work, jump in and listen for further instructions WHILE we are living our life prayerfully, mindfully, lovingly. 

I love this new song on the radio.  Here are the words to the chorus of "Give Me Your Eyes" by Brandon Heath. 

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten

Oh Lord, yes, give me Your eyes and Your heart and Your love AND Your courage!  What could be better than that!  Don't let me miss a single opportunity to hear Your voice as we work side by side in my little corner of the world. 

 

If necessary, use words.

I am thinking this morning about something we talked about in our small group last night.  The question posed in our video lesson was this: how are we to BE the good news in our world?  More specifically, what would it look like for me to be "good news" in the lives of the people with whom I interact every day?  With all the bad news that bombards us each day, isn't good news something we all desperately crave?  In contrast to what we hear from the world, what does our faith have to offer that would make it "good" news and how would we communicate it in such a way that it would be heard? 

One of the speakers in our video last night reminded us of one of my favorite quotes from St. Francis: 

Preach the Gospel always, and if necessary use words.

Obviously, this thought represents the power found in the ways we simply live our lives on a day to day basis.  Lives lived from a place of love, connection, compassion and service "preach the gospel."  When someone is the unexpected recipient of service without an agenda or love without judgment, it is likely to be received as good news. And, as Pastor Rob said in his sermon yesterday, when we see light in the darkness, we are likely to trace it back to its Source. 

In checking the exact words of the quote above, I ran across the other familiar words that we associate with St. Francis.  I thought they held special meaning in the context of being "good news" to a world who so desperately needs it.  What it look like for me, with God's help, to REALLY live out this prayer?

Lord make me an instrument of your peace

Where there is hatred,
Let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, Joy.

O Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled
As to console;
To be understood,as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

 

God Moments- PTM Day Three

It was another powerful day for the Beautiful Babes.  It has been my absolute privilege to serve as a tour guide for the girls on this journey.  I wish I could share with you all the special moments as I watch each girl find her unique way to serve...as I watch each girl step one more tiny step outside her comfort zone.  My job as tour guide is to notice God at work, point that way and say "WOW!  Did you guys see that one?  Isn't He awesome?"  Three days in and they are already taking over my job, as I hear them exclaiming to one another "that was so great when that happened" or "you really made that guy smile" or "God gave great weather to the other team (who was working outside) today."  Now, I am just sitting back and watching God do His stuff.

The most beautiful moment today came when one of our quieter girls drew a picture of one of the guests at the Lamb Center and presented it to him as a gift.  This person who feels invisible, unseen, forgotten was given the gift of seeing himself through the loving eyes of a truly gifted artist...a young girl who was stepping WAY outside her comfort zone to even be here this week.  He was deeply moved by the gift and expressed this appreciation to her.  The other girls noticed...one of the other guests noticed...and this young woman spent the rest of the day hearing affirmation from her new friends that she had been used by God by sharing herself in the way that she knew best.  The other girls even shared the story with the rest of the group when we returned to the church this afternoon.  Christian community at work.

This experience is another example of God's "fishes and loaves" economy.  When we lift up whatever He has given us....when we lift up our blessings from Him with open, outstretched hands, He blesses it and multiplies it and uses it to achieve His purposes.  It is really that simple and that beautiful.  And, it is the purpose for which we were made, so it just feels really true and right and real. 

Pray for me tomorrow, SERIOUSLY.  Apparently, I will be driving the church bus to Woodstock, Virginia where we will do some farming!  Agreeing to drive the bus is ME stepping outside my comfort zone! 

Perspective- PTM Day Two

I was witness to God at work today....in the children that are participating in this mission week, in the lives of strangers who we now call our friends, in the community that is forming as a result of our common focus on the "things that break the heart of God."  I know God is always at work all around me; but today was one of those days when I was repeatedly moved to tears at the sight.  

This morning, our team had the privilege of spending time with the guests and the volunteers at the Lamb Center.  The Lamb Center is a day shelter for homeless individuals in our own seemingly wealthy Fairfax County. The center is a place where Lamb Center guests can receive their mail, get breakfast or lunch, take a shower, use a phone, launder their clothes; any number of activities that we take for granted in our own homes.  What I witnessed today leads me to believe that the most important thing that the staff and volunteers offer is a smile, respect and the love of Jesus Christ.  In addition to the other services, Lamb Center guests are also invited to times of prayer and are offered the opportunity to participate in a morning bible study.

The girls helped out for a while with serving food and doing laundry, but our team quickly realized that the greatest need was for a listening ear.  I was so proud of the girls for their loving presence.  We were all blessed by the stories we heard of God at work in the lives of these folks and by the powerful ministry of this place of refuge.  In the afternoon, we made some breakfast casseroles that we will bring to our new friends tomorrow morning when we will have the opportunity to spend a few more hours with them.

Tonight, I can't stop thinking of one couple that I met today.  I spent a majority of my time this morning talking to J. and his wife, S.  J. is a student of scripture and speaks eloquently of the redemption, deliverance and providence he has found in the years since Jesus found him.  He told his story with not one ounce of self-pity...he gave God all the glory for the changes he has made in his life.  He shared how God had used a number of His servants to help them over the years. He also related the ways he is trying to give back, in whatever way he can.  He shared with me how grateful he is for the ways that God is providing for he and his wife...and what a significant role the Lamb Center has played in the most recent chapters of his story.  He and S. each told me separately how God had recently blessed them with a significant improvement in their living situation.  J. told me that God had provided for them "abundantly" with their recent acquisition of a new tent that doesn't leak when it rains.  They saw this as clear evidence that God loved them and was providing for their every need....just as scripture had promised them.

Joy, gratitude and service should naturally flow out of walking with Jesus.  I met a man today who lives in a tent, yet he seems to understand the concepts better than many of us who are currently experiencing more worldly success.  Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Tender Young Hearts- PTM Day One

Today was our first day of Passport to Missions (PTM)- our middle school mission week.  As we did last year, my girls and I are participating with our friends from church.  This year, instead of going to West Virginia, we are serving in a variety of local sites.  Our group consists of 5 young ladies and 2 adult leaders....one of the adults being my precious friend Sammy who has just finished her freshman year in college and has tons more mission trip experience than me.  She is also much wiser than about 75% of the adults I know...you know how some people just "get it?"  At just about to turn 19, Sammy just gets it.  Anyway, I am thrilled to be spending the week with these six young ladies.  Being known as Team B and being an all female team, we have renamed ourselves the Beautiful Babes!

Today the Beautiful Babes kicked off our mission week by visiting Central Union Mission in D.C.  We did a variety of office jobs for them, in addition to getting a tour of their facility.  Having worked in similar types of institutions back in my social worker days, I can't tell you how impressed I was by their program.  In case you are wondering, it appears to me that God is at work with the homeless men in our nation's capital through the ministry of CUM.  If the issue of homelessness tugs at your heart, I would recommend looking into this organization for ways that you can support their work. 

After we had lunch, we spent the afternoon doing yard work at the home of one of our church's older couples.  This precious couple has recently suffered with some health issues that have prevented them from being able to keep up with their large, beautiful garden.  The girls worked hard and we were proud of what we were able to accomplish.  We were sad that we couldn't completely finish our project, but we were relieved to find out that another group will visit them tomorrow.

During our lunch break mid-day, we were invited to spend a few moments alone with God using a prepared Quiet Time guide that gave us some scriptures, questions and suggested prayer topics.  This paragraph was particularly meaningful to me:

Ask God to provide for people that are in need, whether they are homeless strangers, or our church family...  God wants you to pray these things with a tender heart.  He wants you to be so intuned with Him that what breaks His heart will also break yours.  Pray "Break my heart for what breaks yours."  When you begin to hurt over the needs of God's children (including yourself,) God will provide the resources you need to make a difference.

That last sentence really stuck with me.  When our hearts are tenderized by God, we cannot sit idly by and see suffering and injustice without wanting to do something.  Yet, so often, the "something" that we might be able to do seems like so little.  I love this verse from Ezekiel: 

Ezekiel 36:26 (New Living Translation)

26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.

We are trying to teach the kids that having a servant heart matters in this world.  That the "something" that they can do...no matter how small...can be multiplied by God to make a difference.  You know, a modern day "loaves and fishes" story.  

God had the girls fired up today and it was contagious.  I can't wait to see what He will do with the rest of our week!  If you read this post this week, would you please pray for us?  If you read this post next week or in upcoming weeks, would you please pray that we don't forget?  That our hearts will stay tender?

Faith Without Works

Barack Obama is talking this week about steering more federal money towards empowering faith-based organizations that reach out to less privileged communities.  In an article about these initiatives, "Obama also talked bluntly about the genesis of his Christian faith in his work as a community organizer in Chicago, and its importance to him now."

"In time, I came to see faith as being both a personal commitment to Christ and a commitment to my community; that while I could sit in church and pray all I want, I wouldn't be fulfilling God's will unless I went out and did the Lord's work," he said.

This reminds me of the verses in James that talk about the relationship between faith and works:

James 2:14-17 (New Living Translation)

Faith without Good Deeds Is Dead

 14 What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? 15 Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, 16 and you say, “Good-bye and have a good day; stay warm and eat well”—but then you don’t give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?

 17 So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

Same Kind of Different As Me

I stayed up until 2:00 this morning reading one of the best books that I have ever read.  I couldn't put it down.  I read a lot of books and this was probably the most beautiful story I have ever had the privilege of reading.  I haven't stopped thinking about it all day.  It is a true story called "Same Kind of Different As Me" and you have to read it.  Truly, here is the Amazon link.  Go buy it right now.  That is all that I am going to say.

Interruptions and Intrusions

I am in Texas visiting my mom and step-dad this week.  The girls and I are beginning our annual grandparent tour in Texas....first here in Fort Worth for a few days, then off to Granbury to see their paternal grandparents.  Since I spent the majority of my adolescence here in this part of Texas, I generally get to see a few of my childhood friends as well.  This trip each year is one of the highlights of our summer traditions. 

This morning, I attended a bible study with my mom at her church.  It is taught by their senior pastor, who I think is fabulous.  I got to be part of the second week of a study they are doing called Jesus Interrupted. 

Today we talked about the difference between interruptions and intrusions in our life.  Apparently, they talked last week about interruptions.  In reading back over the material from last week, it seems that they had the opportunity to look at several instances where Jesus was on his way somewhere and he encountered an unexpected interruption on his journey.  In all of these instances, Jesus chose to stop what he was doing and set aside his intended goal in order to interact with the person who had wandered into his path.  In these instances, he made the choice to stop and offer healing and care to the persons involved.  Because he was not overly tied to his agenda of the moment, he could attend to the higher purposes for which he was sent.  In our own lives, we similarly have the choice to view the unexpected, the unplanned and the inconvenient interruptions we encounter as precious opportunities for ministry....divine appointments to realize our own role in bringing about the Kingdom of Heaven.  

This week, we discussed intrusions.  Ben suggested that, while interruptions offered us a choice about responding or continuing on our way, intrusions allowed no such choice.  Intrusions are the times when something is dropped into our lap where we have no choice about whether or not we get involved.  This detour to our plan....our agenda....our projected path is here and we have to deal with it.  A couple of the examples that the group offered were things like serious illness, divorce and grandparents unexpectedly raising grandchildren.  These intrusions were realities that had to be addressed and, it was suggested, are often opportunities to define our identity.  In the fire of this unexpected and unwanted disruption of our life, we find out of just what stuff we are made.  A refining fire, perhaps, that offered the possibility of great treasure as the end result of that time in the fire.

This discussion brought to mind one of my favorite quotes...a quote which, in fact, I have hanging on the wall of our powder room.  This quote has, strangely enough, been attributed to Albert Einstein:

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

If you choose to live your life as though everything is potentially a miracle, then interruptions are seen as holy opportunities, rather than frustrating obstacles.  If you choose to live your life as though everything is possibly a miracle, then intrusions are seen as vehicles for spiritual growth and opportunities to grow closer to God, rather than random tragedies and evidence of a life irreparably destroyed.  If you choose to live your life as though everything might be a miracle, then each interaction, each encounter, each conversation presents the opportunity to be used by God in the healing of His world. 

The question then becomes this: which way do we choose to live our life? 

Obedience, Freedom and Joy

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post on the subject of Obedience.  Since then, I have been continuing to think about that topic. As I said in my previous post, the term obedience gets a bad name in our independent-thinking kind of culture.  While we believe in the value of obedience in our children, the term seems better left behind as we move into adulthood.

Obedience within the context of our faith journey is not necessarily characterized by adherence to the beliefs or practices of another person or a particular denomination.  I ran into that confusion as an adolescent when I tried to tease out the differences between following Jesus and being "religious."  I was raised by parents who believed in Jesus and I don't remember a time in my life that I didn't talk to Him and love Him.  I formally gave my heart to Him when I was 8, but that only seemed a continuation of a relationship that had already been established.  I never doubted His love or His presence, but sometimes felt like I didn't fit in at church.  I wanted to be a good Christian, but I didn't know if I could ever be like the "good Christians" that I thought I was supposed to emulate.

When I was in high school, I went through a training on how to share my faith in the most effective way....effective being defined by the numbers of people who made a decision to be "saved" at the end of the presentation.  This was a training curriculum that has been used in many churches for a number of years.  I think the training lasted 10 or 12 weeks.  Turns out, I was really good at it....at least in the eyes of the instructors.  I memorized all the lines and the scriptures easily, I was a naturally persuasive person and I wasn't afraid to talk in front of people.  I was chosen to be the youth representative that did a presentation of this new skill for the adults.  So they put me on a stage and had me do my thing in a role play.  I remember feeling very torn.  I enjoyed the accolades that I received from the adults, but I simultaneously felt like the biggest fake and liar in the world. 

On the one hand, I knew all the things in the scripted presentation were true.  On the other hand, I would never in a million years share my faith with one of my friends in this mechanical, hard sell, fear-provoking way.  It simply wasn't me.  At that point in my life, I had already had the joy and privilege of seeing some of my friends come to know this amazing God that I loved.  Any part that God had allowed me to play in the process was based in my love and caring for that person and in sharing with them something that meant everything to me.  They saw that I was excited about something, they saw me find peace in the storms that were erupting in my life during that time, and they wanted to know more.  The saw in me, and also in my mom, a real-life relationship with Jesus.  I didn't have to sell them or scare them.  I just shared what I knew to be true for me, with no strings attached.

So, I was confused.  I committed myself to God over and over again, thinking that I hadn't quite gotten it right yet because I still wasn't like "them."  I wanted to be a "good Christian" but some of the religious people to whom I was looking for guidance seemed to have ideas that didn't feel right to me.   I acted one way with my "church" friends and another way with my other friends....trying to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be and only succeeding in feeling guilty about the ways that I could never measure up...the ways that I didn't really fit in with either group.  I was, in many ways, too wild and free-spirited to fit in with the "religious" kids and too crazy about Jesus to feel at home with the wild kids.  Like many adolescents, I didn't know which one was the "real" me.

This in no condemnation of the churches where I began my journey with God.  I believe strongly that we can't do this journey alone; we must be living and growing in a community of other believers.  I learned to love God's word in my adolescent church home and I am grateful for the many ways that I was nurtured within that community.  My point is that I was confused about who or what I was called to obey.  God never meant for me to be a carbon copy of the religious people that I saw around me.  God never intended for me to change the way that He made me in order to become some sanitized version of myself that seemed holier and more proper.  I was simply called to follow Him.

It is a story too long to continue in this particular post, but I eventually found my way to a different understanding of being obedient to God.  I should say, God was patient with me as He slowly revealed what I needed to hear to begin to understand the connection between obedience and peace...the connection between a habit of obedience and the freedom to be exactly who God made me to be.  An obedience for which we were created....a daily, minute by minute conversation with the God who made us and loves us.  "What next, God?"  "Now what, God?"  "I can't do this alone, God."  "I'm sorry I messed up again, God."  "Thank you for these blessings, God."  "Help me to help them, God."  "I love you so much, God."

I just finished a FABULOUS book.  It is called A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson.  He is the gentleman who "wrote" the inspired paraphrase of the bible called the Message.  Here are some of many wonderful things he says about this journey of discipleship:

...I hadn't yet found an organizing center for my life and a goal that would demand my all and my best.  The Christian faith is the discovery of that center in the God who sticks with us, the righteous God.  Christian discipleship is a decision to walk in His ways, steadily and firmly, and then finding that the way integrates all our interests, passions and gifts, our human needs and our eternal aspirations.  It is the way of life we were created for.

Joy is not a requirement of Christian discipleship, it is a consequence.  It is not what we have to acquire in order to experience life in Christ; it is what comes to us when we are walking in the way of faith and obedience.  We come to God (and to the revelation of God's ways) because none of us have it within ourselves, except momentarily, to be joyous.  Joy is a product of abundance; it is the overflow of vitality.  It is life working together harmoniously.  It is exuberance.

We cannot make ourselves joyful.  Joy cannot be commanded, purchased or arranged.  But there is something we can do.  We can decide to live in response to the abundance of God and not under the dictatorship of our own poor needs.  We can decide to live in the environment of a living God and not our own dying selves.  We can decide to center ourselves in the God who generously gives and not in our own egos which greedily grab.  One of the certain consequences of such a life is joy...