Seeking Him

Eucharisteo

I awoke this morning with no plans and a full heart.  These last lazy days of summer seem a bit more melancholy this year because I am still trying to adjust to the departure of my sweet girl.  As of this past Saturday, one of my babies lives somewhere else; off to college and the fulfillment of years of hard work and big dreams.  My sadness at her absence is tempered by the realization that she is happy....excited about her new home and ready to take on all the challenges this new community has to offer.  We are thrilled for her and so I woke up this morning planning to nurture my slightly sad self by doing those things which feed my spirit....reading, gardening, writing, praying or maybe even singing.

A full day ahead with nothing on the calendar, so I decided to start by reading one of the books in my stack. Several people have recommended this book to me; including my mother and my pastor/sister/friend.  When your mom and your pastor both tell you to read a book, a girl really ought to listen!  

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp is stunningly beautiful and was the perfect "medicine" for me today.  A reminder of what I know at my very core; that the secret to life is gratitude and thanksgiving.  Ann's journey to intimacy and romance with her Creator began by challenging herself to notice and record one thousand of God's gifts of grace to her.  She kept a notebook and paid attention.  She gave thanks for the sweet curl of her daughter's hair, the multiple colors in the soapy suds and pain medicine when her son was injured.  She sniffed out God's glory all around her and intentionally gave praise to the Giver...even in the midst of grief and despair.  Through thanksgiving or Eucharisteo, she found healing and wholeness.

After reading the first few chapters, I felt compelled to get out in my garden.  For any of you who read my blog back when I wrote regularly, you may remember that God often speaks to me there.  I know that putting fingers in the dirt is often worship for me.  With our travel this summer and our focus on preparing for Alex's big move, my garden was in need of some tender loving care.  As I began to weed the flower beds and trim the over growth, I breathed deeply and gave thanks.  And then, I chased butterflies around with my camera!

Here are two of my favorites.  The blue one was a bit shy.

Besides my butterfly friends, I found another delightful surprise.  Before Alex's graduation party back in late June, I purchased a bunch of flowers to fill in holes in the garden.  I never got around to planting one flat of flowers, so I threw them back in the corner of the yard thinking maybe I would plant them later.  2 months later, I had forgotten all about them.  Until today...

Next to my turned over wheelbarrow and a bunch of weeds in a shady corner, there they were all ready to plant!  A joyful surprise.  

After my time in the garden, I came back in and finished the book.  Later in the day, I had the privilege of meeting with a friend whose daughter didn't just leave for college this summer; she left for Heaven.  In talking with her, I was reminded how fragile and precious this life is and how random and senseless life would feel without knowing Someone a great deal smarter than me is in charge.  I marveled as she recounted the gifts of grace she is finding even in the darkness of this deep grief.  I was humbled by her faith and hope for the future; inspired by her resolve to take care of herself and move forward as her daughter would want her to do.

Eucharisteo...an offering of thanksgiving.  Here is a quote from the book:

While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things, because He knows that the feeling of joy begins in the action of thanksgiving.

Today, I chose to do the things that I know God uses to feed my spirit.  Today, I was reminded that my path to God is found in thanksgiving.  Today, I was amazed by the power of the Holy Spirit working in the lives of those who trust in Him and humbled to be witness to that power.  

And today, I chose to write again because THIS is one of those things that God uses to feed my spirit.  I pray that He will use it for His glory. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whose To-Do List?

What a glorious day!  I have been sitting in the backyard this morning, soaking up the sunshine after several rainy, cool days.  The flowers in my yard are gorgeous after all the rain; you can almost see them growing and stretching in the warmth of this morning's sun.  The birdfeeders are full and the birds, after a few minutes, decided to ignore me and go about their business as usual, allowing me the pleasure of watching them from my seat nearby.  Truly, a beautiful morning to be alive.  As I enjoyed the beauty of God's creations, I spent some quiet time in the additional company of a few of my favorite devotionals and God's Word.  One of the devotionals that I read regularly is called Jesus Calling.  I read several passages this morning, but one of them particularly spoke to me, so I thought I would share it here.  The passages in this devotional are all written in the first person, as if Jesus were speaking directly to us.  Here is the entry from May 6, followed by the suggested scriptures:

Do not search for security in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life.  If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace.  But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list.  The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.

There is a better way to find security in this life.  Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you.  This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace.  Moreover, I will help you sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not.  Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstances), but what is unseen (My Presence). 

Isaiah 26:3 , 2 Corinthians 4:18

This really struck a chord with me.  I don't know about you, but there are a million things on my list of things that I need to/ should do.  Some are things that I hope to do today (get my filthy car washed, empty the dishwasher, run a load of laundry, return a phone call, etc.) and some are things that hang over my head that I need to do "sometime" (clean out the file cabinet, reorganize the playroom, get frames for the posters I want to hang, call that long-distance friend to re-connect etc.)  Sometimes I successfully stay on top of the first list, but there is always that nagging feeling that I am never quite finished.  As the devotional suggested, the sense of always living in a place of "not quite finished" can rob me of peace. Peace that Jesus says is my birthright in Him (John 16:33) 

I love the message of this little devotional.  Essentially, it is asking me to examine from whose to-do list I am operating?  Whose agenda am I following?  Mine, my spouse, my kids, my friends? Who or what owns the key to my peace?  Clearly, we all have responsibilities that we need to honor and work that needs doing, yet I am freed by the idea that resting, walking, living, abiding in God's Presence can help me determine a better way. And, it seems to me, that consulting God's to-do list allows me the opportunity to contribute to His Kingdom, to join in His work, to be part of something bigger.  As I get a little further along on this journey with the Lord, I am learning to anticipate the adventure of holding onto my own agenda a little more loosely.  When I am willing to be interrupted as I work through my "list," I often find that God has something much more wonderful planned for my day. And strangely enough, when I abide in Him, I tend to get done the things that really need doing.

Fertile Soil

In my last blog entry several weeks ago, I continued my springtime practice of finding the connections between gardening and my spiritual journey. In that entry, I wrote these words:

Any transformation that takes place, any fruit that my life bears, is entirely His doing, His creation, to His glory.  I can create an environment where I am more likely to see Him work His magic, but I cannot create one single beautiful flower on my own.

Since then, I have thought a great deal about what constitutes the environment of which I spoke...what is the "fertile soil" where God can work His gifts of transformation in my life?  What is my responsibility and what is His?

In the last couple of weeks, I have been reading a couple of books by Richard Foster.  One of them, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, beautifully echoes the discoveries I found in my garden.  Here are a few excerpts:

"When we despair of gaining inner transformation through human powers of will and determination, we are open to a wonderful new realization: inner righteousness is a gift from God to be graciously received.  The needed change within us is God's work, not ours.  The demand is for an inside job, and only God can work from the inside.  We cannot attain or earn this righteousness of the Kingdom of God; it is a grace that is given."

"God has given us the disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving His grace.  The disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that He can transform us."

"A farmer is helpless to grow grain; all he can do is provide the right conditions for the growing of grain.  He cultivates the ground, he plants the seed, he waters the plants, and then the natural forces of the earth take over and up comes the grain.  This is the way it is with the spiritual disciplines--they are a way of sowing to the Spirit.  The disciplines are God's way of getting us into the ground; they put us where He can work within us and transform us.  By themselves the spiritual disciplines can do nothing; they only get us to the place where something can be done.  They are God's means of grace.  The inner righteousness we seek is not something that is poured on our heads.  God has ordained the disciplines of the spiritual life as the means by which we place ourselves where He can bless us."

Of course, the term "spiritual discipline" can be one of those church words that needs definition to be useful.  Mr. Foster, in this case, is speaking of practices such as the following when he uses the term spiritual disciplines: prayer, meditation, study, solitude, submission, service, confession and worship, among others. While all of these practices can be used by God to bring growth and healing, we as human beings often have the tendency to abuse that which is good for us.  Mr. Foster addresses this as well:

"The spiritual disciplines are intended for our good.  They are meant to bring the abundance of God into our lives.  It is possible, however, to turn them into another set of soul-killing laws.  Law-bound disciplines breathe death."

"When the disciplines degenerate into law, they are used to manipulate and control people.  We take explicit commands and use them to imprison others.  Such a deterioration of the spiritual disciplines results in pride and fear.  Pride takes over because we come to believe that we are the right kind of people.  Fear takes over because we dread losing control."

"If we are to progress in the spiritual walk so that the disciplines are a blessing and not a curse, we must come to a place in our lives where we can lay down the everlasting burden of always needing to manage others.  This drive, more than any single thing, will lead us to turn the spiritual disciplines into laws.  Once we have made a law, we have an "externalism" by which we judge who is measuring up and who is not...when we genuinely believe that inner transformation is God's work and not ours, we can rest our passion to set others straight."

So, the theme for the summer...what creates the fertile soil in my life?  What is my business and what is God's?  Am I using the good stuff God has given me to get in my own way or in the way of someone else's spiritual journey?  Must run do "last day of school" stuff...more later!!

 

Green Thumb?

  I have been posting a lot of pictures of my flower "babies" online.  While my actual children are even more gorgeous, this time of year I am much more likely to take pictures of my flowers than of my girls...much to the dismay of their grandparents!  With the advent of Facebook in my life this year, there are many more people looking at my flower pictures and I have had several comments regarding the apparent "greenness" of my thumb. SOooooo, that got me thinking...

Is my thumb really any "greener" than anyone else's...do I have a particular "gift" or talent for gardening?  Clearly, I am not creating these magnificient flowers.  I am not imagining these shapes or colors, like an artist painting a picture or a sculptor fashioning her masterpiece.  What is it about me that makes me a "gardener?"  As I pondered this, it occurred to me that there are two primary things that I possess that contribute to the beauty of my garden.  The first is a passion for flowers and the second is the willingness to get dirty.

Simply put, I love flowers.  I delight in flowers.  I find a tremendous amount of joy in looking at flowers, caring for flowers, and watching plants transform from ugly tubers or seedlings into works of art.  My family finds it alternately endearing and/or embarrassing that I often squeal with delight (yes, out loud) when I spot a particularly colorful display along our travels or notice a new baby bloom in our yard when we arrive home.  The amazing fact that some also have a heavenly scent is just too wonderful for words.  I love the varieties of greens that are found in God's imagination and the extraordinary vibrancy of the colors of His blossoms.  I find pleasure in perusing garden catalogues, garden books, and garden websites.  I enjoy doing research to find the perfect plant for that particular spot in the ever-changing, always evolving painting that is my garden.  Except for being pregnant, gardening is the closest thing to participating in a miracle that I have ever experienced. 

Growing flowers, however, requires getting dirty.  Flowers grow in dirt and playing in the dirt is messy.  Digging, planting, pruning, weeding, mulching, feeding and watering will produce dirt, sweat, aching muscles and, eventually, hopefully, God willing, flowers.  While generally fairly well groomed, I get very sweaty and very dirty when I am gardening.  It isn't pretty, but it is worth it.  90% of the time, I am extremely happy while working in the garden, despite the sore muscles and dirty clothes.  The other 10% of the time it is just hard work that has to be done in order to achieve the intended goal, so I grit my teeth and get it done.  Sometimes, especially this time of year, I can't wait to get out in the garden and I am happy from the moment I begin.  Other times, it seems a big hassle to change clothes, get my tools and gloves and set aside my other activities long enough to garden.  Yet, once I get started, I lose myself in the task at hand and find the joy that I knew was waiting there all along.  As the season progresses, the hard labor of the spring transitions into the maintenance tasks of summer.  In the height of summer, a little weeding, a little feeding, and a little watering are mostly just good excuses to be closer to the explosion of flowers and the butterfly friends that they attract.

Passion and a willingness to get dirty is all I really bring to the equation.  The transformation of ugly dirt into colorful blooms is entirely God's job.  No matter how hard I work, I can't create a single flower.  What I can do, however, is provide an environment where God can work His magic.  Providing fertile soil, planting flowers in the appropriate aspect, making sure the weeds don't get too thick and the plants don't go too long without water are my attempts at participating in the miracle of creation.  Because He loves me and He placed a creative spark within me, God allows me to get involved in the details of His masterpiece.  Would daylilies look good next to the coneflowers?  Which attracts more butterflies; shasta daisies or black-eyed susans?  Can I possibly get away with another purple flowering plant without it just being ridiculous?  Sometimes my experiments work out beautifully, other times I learn that certain plants prefer slightly different treatment and I choose to rip them out and move them to another place in my garden or dispose of them entirely.  As I travel further down this gardening path, I become a little wiser, a little more experienced and a little braver about trying something new.  Sometimes, despite my mistakes and neglect, something unplanned and unexpectedly beautiful blooms in the garden and I am reminded once again that I never really was in charge.

I think my walk with the Lord is a great deal like my journey as a gardener.  All I really bring to the equation is a passion for Him and the willingness to do the "dirty work" in my desire to be in His presence.  Any transformation that takes place, any fruit that my life bears, is entirely His doing, His creation, to His glory.  I can create an environment where I am more likely to see Him work His magic, but I cannot create one single beautiful flower on my own.  Somedays, just like in the garden, the weather is fine and the work is joyful.  Other days, the work is just hard and messy...the weeds threaten and it is just too hot to garden.  Yet occasionally, on those especially grace-filled days, in spite of my neglect, the flowers bloom and the butterflies arrive anyway.

Why I Love May

 Some of my favorites are blooming right now AND we have robin babies on the way!  Enjoy!  I just wish you could also smell the lilac and peonies.  Scratch and sniff blog?

Guess what I am doing this weekend...

The sun is finally shining.  I am itching to get my fingers in the dirt.  I have all my new babies ready to go.  I think that there will be lots of flowers in heaven, but I think I will get started here on earth.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Many of my plants in my garden have gotten to the magic 3 or 4 years old and they are particularly gorgeous this year.  All the rain we have had hasn't hurt either!  I know that my mom and Katie are probably the only ones who really like my flower pictures, but the rest of you feel free to enjoy them as well!

The Daffodil Principle

The Daffodil Principle
Copyright by Jaroldeen Asplund Edward

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday, " I promised, reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!" My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car." "How far will we have to drive?" "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive. I'm used to this." After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils." "Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand-lettered sign that read, "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped. Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a shimmering vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes.

The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns-great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

There were five acres of flowers. "But who did this?" I asked Carolyn. "It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house. On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.

The first answer was a simple one."50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun-one bulb at a time-to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time - often just one baby-step at a time - and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"           

(The pictures worked this time!!  YEAH!!  Thanks to Jenn for sending me this story!  Let's all start tomorrow...one bulb at a time.)

Random Stuff from a Theatre Mom

Like many of you, we are a multiple computer household.  2 out of 3 of them are currently having "technical difficulties."  The one in the playroom, primarily used by my younger daughter for instant messaging and email, won't really turn on most of the time.  Well, it turns on, but you get that scary looking black screen with all that computer jargon that I don't understand.  Last time I saw that screen, my hard drive had crashed and I had lost 2 months worth of un-backed-up pictures.  OUCH!  Luckily, there isn't anything of any great importance stored on that computer, so if it crashes for good, we will be OK.  But what is a girl to do when there is a HUGE, IMPORTANT happening of some sort on Club Penguin and she can't get on a computer???? 

Much more importantly (to me, anyway :-) THIS computer that I am currently using is doing wierd stuff as well.  I can't open certain websites that I can open on other computers, my Inbox in my email program has malfunctioned and ....HORROR of HORRORS....I can't seem to post pictures on my blog anymore!!!  I have this awesome daffodil thing that I want to share with you and I have these beautiful pictures of daffodils currently blooming right here in my own garden and I CAN"T POST A PICTURE!!!   So, you can see my frustration, right?

I probably ought to call one of those computer geeks out here....no, really, they call themselves geeks, I promise....but I am really busy.  The story of my life....I am really busy.  See, my kids are in all of these plays; one in a play at school and both of them in a play at church.  One play is the last weekend in April and one is the first weekend in May.  Even though they are the ones in the plays, somehow, I keep finding myself in charge of stuff.  My husband feels neglected, so he asked me to go with him on a business trip to Hawaii later this month.  I guess he feels like he has to take me out of the continental United States to get my attention....that worked out pretty well for me, I guess!  As I was telling a friend today, I almost talked myself out of going with him because of volunteer stuff I am involved in....isn't the beauty of volunteer work that you can make your own schedule?  That is when you know you are too busy AND too impressed with your own indispensability....when you say no to free trips to Hawaii because you are worried things won't get done while you are gone!!!

We started our new bible study this morning and it looks to be a great one.  We are doing Priscilla Shirer's  Discerning the Voice of God.  Today's video was centered around John 10:27.  This verse reminds us that "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me."  One of the things she said that really struck me was "do you think that He loves you enough to die for you, but He doesn't love you enough to speak to you?"  She challenged us to anticipate that God does and will speak to us...that He wants nothing more than to have an intimate relationship with us....one that involves both listening to us AND speaking to us. 

I believe this is true.  I have experienced God speaking to me in ways that changed my life.  Yet, on a day to day basis, I find that many other things distract me from hearing His voice.  In my rush to conquer that never-quite-finished to do list, I often talk to God on the run.  Talking you can do on the run; listening is much more difficult.  So I find myself praying the same prayers, asking forgiveness for the same things, wondering why I don't hear an answer or see a change.  And I picture God, my blessing in hand, waiting for me to sit still long enough to receive it.

My friend Katie talked about slowing down to spend time with God on her blog this week.  I loved the Oswald Chambers quote that she shared...so much so that I am going to steal it!

All God's revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience...Obey God in the thing He shows you, and instantly the next thing is opened up...God will never reveal more truth about Himself until you have obeyed what you know already.

I know the one area of obedience that I am always working on is spending more time with God...not on-the-run time, but sitting-still-and-listening time.  I am grateful for the discipline of a new bible study to bring focus to that time and I pray that I will be faithful.  God will never be outdone in faithfulness...when I am faithful just a little, He pours it on big!  Speaking of God multiplying our faithfulness, I am going to post the thing I received from my friend about daffodils even WITHOUT the pictures of mine.  Trust me, they are gorgeous!

July Flowers and Friends

I have some thoughts for a new post brewing, but thought I would just post some garden pictures for tonight.  We are enjoying our summer and July is generally the peak month for my garden.  If you are a fellow flower or butterfly lover, click on the individual pictures for a larger version.  Enjoy!

 

A Work in Progress

It's been almost a month since I have posted...definitely the longest I have ever gone without writing in the almost 2 years (!!!) that I have been blogging.  No real reason for my absence, or at least not one reason.  Busy, nothing to say, too much to say....my life is full and blessed.  God is good.  Sometimes life is hard....not hard for me lately, but for people that I love.  Yet, God just keeps being good.  That's it, really...God's amazing goodness.  It is so constant and consistent and unfailing.

The scripture verse I keep thinking of lately is Philippians 1:6 (NIV): "...He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  The Message version says "There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."  ...carry it on to completion...keep at it....God is not a quitter.  What He has begun, He WILL complete.  A flourishing finish.  We can count on it.

I have seen so many evidences of that truth lately.  On the left is a picture of my beautiful peonies in April:

And on the right, here they are in May:

The beauty that I tried to capture in a vase in May, God could see in that scratchy looking dirt in April.  God, who is not limited by human sight, saw the fullness of His creation within those tiny, red buds barely sticking their heads through the chilly April soil.  There was never any question that those small shoots would produce masses of glorious flowers that filled my kitchen for several weeks.  It was their destiny.

Even more beautiful than my peonies was my precious first-born sharing her Statement of Faith with the congregation on Confirmation Sunday a few weeks ago.  The good work that God has begun in her, He is faithfully fulfilling.  Through His grace, He has made her His own and He will carry that on to completion...a flourishing finish.  It is her destiny in Him.  Just this past weekend, she and God handled a difficult situation with so much maturity, grace and wisdom that I could only sit back and applaud His goodness....His faithfulness...His uncompromising generosity.  The work He is doing in her life, in the lives of both of my girls, is the most beautiful thing that I have ever witnessed.  He, of course, saw the fulfillment of His plan for their lives when they were still in my womb. He has begun a good work and He WILL carry it on to completion.  He sees the fullness of their beauty, just like my peonies, when He looks at them now...just beginning their journey with Him.

If I believe that verse for my girls, then it stands to reason that is is true for me as well.  And for my friend who is going through a time of heartache.  And for my husband who is dealing with the stress of a new job.  God has begun a good work and He will see it through to a "flourishing finish"...transforming each of us to be more like Jesus.  It is our destiny in Him.  Whatever it is, it is part of the process of becoming that which He intended for us all along.  The way He already sees us.  More beautiful, more complex, more intricate than the most glorious flower in my garden.

In the Garden

My sister emailed me today to complain that I hadn't posted anything on my blog since the 20th of April.  I told her that I was too busy playing in the gardent to blog.  Yes, it is that time of year again.  Garden obsession time!  I didn't think it would ever get warm this spring.  When it finally did, I have been spending loads of my time outside with my hands in the dirt. 

This time of year requires lots of hard work, but it is worth it.  Clearing away the debris from the winter, getting rid of the weeds that are already trying to take hold, moving plants around as I envision how it will look 2 months from now...all part of the fun of waking up my garden.  Over the last several days, I have been re-filling all my containers with a fresh crop of annuals.  I spent several lovely hours at the garden store on Tuesday morning, had coffee with a dear friend, then spent the afternoon in the garden....pretty much a perfect day! 

Here are some pictures of the early May bloomers in my garden:

Grandma LaVon

Today is my grandmother LaVon's birthday.  She is in Heaven now, but today is the 89th anniversary of her birth.  She died 10 years ago, but I still miss her all the time. 

This is my favorite picture of the two of us together.  It was taken in June of 1993.  I was several months pregnant with my firstborn, her first great-grandchild, and they had come to visit us here in Virgina.  Grandma and I shared a love of flowers and I had recently begun gardening seriously.  She was completely taken by this hydrangea bush in my yard and very excited about the impending birth of "our" baby, hence the hand on my tummy.  You can see her spirit in the expression on her face.  She loved the color yellow, a "happy" color she once told me. 

The smartest thing I have ever done was to give her one of those "Grandmother Remembers" books about 20 years ago.  She completed it in detail and I take it out once or twice a year and read through it.  I read through it again today, on her birthday.  In her familiar handwriting, I find the essence of her captured in its pages.  Her positive can-do attitude, her sense of joy in living, her commitment to family and to God, her pride in her husband, her children and her grand-children all come through in her words and the pictures that she shared with me. 

My grandmother and grandfather were of the generation that lived through the Depression.  As I watched President Ford's funeral yesterday, another man of their generation, I couldn't help but think of the lessons they taught us.  I tend to think that Tom Brokaw might be on to something with his "Greatest Generation" designation.  This generation understood gratitude, sacrifice, and service in a way to which many of us can only pay lip service.  My grandparents did not have a perfect life, but they had a very good life....a life lived in service to God, to each other, to their families and to their communities.  Those of their generation, unlike many of the subsequent generations, were not obsessed with more...they understood the value of enough. 

Anyway, just thinking about Grandma today.  Remembering her laugh, her applesauce, her sunny disposition, her clematis, her african violets, her tendency to say exactly what she was thinking without much filter :-)...and how very much she loved me.  I'm sure all the grandchildren felt this way, but I always felt like she delighted in me.  I love it when the bible says that God DELIGHTs in us...isn't that a great word?  I want my kids to learn what it feels like to have someone delight in them from me....just like I learned it from my mom and my dear, sweet Grandma.  I can't wait to see you someday, Grandma!  Happy Birthday!

Mid-Summer Garden

I know that you have all been dying to see some more recent photos of my garden :-)

Garden in July

Pictures from my garden!  If you like the pictures, click on the small picture for a larger version.  We are getting ready to go out of town for a while and I am always sad to leave my garden...it changes every day. 

Spring has Sprung

Here are my first daffodils of the year!  Since I took this picture on Saturday, many more have stretched open to greet us.  I absolutely LOVE this time of year!  If you care nothing for flowers, you may want to visit my blog less frequently in the spring time.  I suspect that my readers will be subjected to many more pictures of my garden and many more references to the parallels that I find between gardening and my walk with my Lord.  You may remember my entry back in October entitled Fair Weather Gardener.  I warned you then that it is in my garden that I first started feeling the desire to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to chronicle my thoughts about the cyclical nature of our walk with God.  I talked then about how the work we do in the fall, the unpleasant clean-up chores, prepares the way for the new growth that is promised each spring.  The fulfillment of God's promises evidenced once again through the miracle of these tiny, new flowers!

As exciting as the first daffodils are...and yes, I make everyone in my family ooh and aah appropriately in celebration of the first flowers of the year...I am just as excited by the things pictured below.  If you can't see them well, click on the pictures for a larger version.  I spent last Thursday afternoon clearing away the remnants of last year's flowers and this is what I discovered underneath.  Tiny green shoots pushing their way through the hard ground.  From now until the garden is in its full glory in June and July, I will go out, every few days at first and then every day, to check on the progress.  Some days, the transformation is nothing short of a miracle. What you see here will become gorgeous flowers with very little help from me.  Perhaps a little extra water, perhaps a little food in the form of a fertilizer, maybe a stake to hold up an especially enthusiastic bundle of blooms, but essentially, God will turn these patches of dirt into a thing of great beauty without my help. 

I prepare the soil, I clean away the debris, I feed them good things, I put supports around them to help them hold up their head on windy days but, no matter how hard I try, I cannot turn this patch of dirt and sticks into a beautiful flower.  Hmmm...sounds like something else I try to "grow."  Transformation, of ourselves, of our children and of our gardens, is God's work.  Our work is to clean away the debris of the world, prepare our hearts through prayer, feed on wisdom through His word, surround ourselves with sisters and brothers in Christ to hold us up when the windy days come and trust God to fulfill His promise of transformation and new life.

Then, over time, we begin to see the miracle of His hand at work; a creation of great beauty where there once was plain ugly dirt.

By the way, I got my love of flowers from my grandma and my mom.  Today is my Mom's birthday and she is going to just love this entry on flowers!  So Happy Birthday, Mom!!  I love you!!!!

Fair Weather Gardener

This whole idea for blogging started back in April of this year (didn't actually start the blog until September; we'll talk about my issues with procrastination in some other, probably several other, entries.) The reason that I thought of blogging then is because I was in my "obsessed with my garden" season.  Every year, springtime produces in me an irrepressible urge to stick my fingers in the dirt.  I spend hours preparing the soil, poring over gardening books, shopping the local nurseries, and finally planting that year's new baby plants.  Throughout the spring and into the summer, my family laughs about finding Mommy out in the yard "talking to her flowers."  Throughout "garden obsession time" every year, my journal is filled with thoughts about the many parallels I find between gardening and my spiritual life.  My friend, Mary, and I talked in bible study last spring about writing a book of garden meditations...hence, the beginnings of my thoughts on blogging.  If I am still blogging next April, just get ready...I gotta million of them!

Then comes late August and early fall.  This is where the whole analogy starts to break down...or does it?  My garden is looking pitiful right now.  The weeds are taking over, the spent flowers need to be cut back, the whole garden is screaming of my neglect.  What happened to my gardening fervor?  I keep thinking I'll wait until the perfect time to get out there and do the fall gardening chores and then that day just doesn't come.  It is too hot or it is too wet....I don't want to get started now, I'll just get dirty and I have to go somewhere soon.  You get the picture.  It just isn't as much fun this time of year.

I think you probably see where this is going.  There are times in our spiritual lives when it just isn't fun anymore.  That spiritual growth spurt we were experiencing last week seems to have disappeared.  We don't feel that overwhelming sense of God's presence like we did last month.  We can't hear God's voice when we pray and the bible passage we just read makes no sense at all.  This whole God thing just doesn't FEEL as good as it did before.  And since it's no fun, our spiritual life starts to suffer from the same neglect that my garden is experiencing.

But, I think I am learning some things about tending my garden. The work I do today, even the decidedly un-fun stuff, is laying the groundwork for next spring.  Clearing away the debris, pulling the weeds, cutting back the faded blooms are all necessary parts of the process of preparing for the next season of growth.  And every fall that I reluctantly get my lazy, procrastinating self back out there and start working, I find there actually is some joy in the process.  Not the springtime kind of joy; but a quieter, expectant, trusting-that-spring-will-come-again kind of joy.  Without fail, spring does indeed come again and I am reminded of why I love gardening so much.

So maybe there are some useful parallels to be found even in my fall garden.  Perhaps it would be helpful to think about what weeds we need to pull or what debris we need to clear away the next time God seems far away.  And maybe we have to learn to trust that the difficult, often monotonous work we must sometimes do in our relationship with God is part of the process of preparing for the next season of growth.  For just like my daffodil bulbs that are hidden beneath the earth, He is always at work in us preparing for the next Springtime in our spirits.