Seeking Him

Always Have, Always Will

Heard this song this morning on the radio.  It is sung by the band Avalon, but I could have written the words about myself.  I don't know about you, but somedays I get so downhearted that I am still struggling with all the same nonsense.  Just when I think God has made some progress with me, I fall back into old patterns of self-will run riot.  I love the first few lines of this song..."part of me is the prodigal, part of me is the other brother..."  Anybody else feel that way?  I love it when God uses music to reassure me that we all struggle sometimes and that, as the song says, He loves me anyway..."always has, always will."  Enjoy!

Part of me is the prodigal
Part of me is the other brother
But I think the heart of me
Is really somewhere between them
Some days I'm running wild
Some days we're reconciled
But I wonder all the while
Why you put up with me, when...

I wrestle most days
To find ways to do as I please

CHORUS
I always have, I always will
You saved me once, You save me still
My longing heart, Your love alone can fill
You always have, always will

I was born with a wayward heart
Still I live with a restless spirit
My soul is so well worn
You'd think I'd have arrived by now
I'm caught in the trappings of
My search for lasting love
I've made mistakes enough
To last me a lifetime

I still slip, I still fall
But I'll always run back to you

CHORUS

I'm gonna keep trusting You
I see what You've seen me through
I'm goin' where You have gone (yeah)
I'm letting You lead me on
All my days (always and forever)
Never far (never leave me never)
Here I'll stay (ever love me ever)
Here's my heart
I'll always love You, love You (yeah)

CHORUS 2X

Oh, You always have, You always will

New Wineskins?

As many of you, my dear readers, are well aware, the Presbyterian Church USA has been the center of a good deal of controversy in recent years.  Many faithful Presbyterians have been devastated by decisions made by the General Assembly regarding ordination standards, doctrinal statements and departure from what they believe to be the basic tenets of the Reformed faith.  Many PCUSA churches have been struggling with how to respond to these changes.  Out of this discontent, an organization of almost 200 Presbyterian churches has joined together to create the New Wineskins Association of Churches (NWAC.)  I just learned about this organization yesterday and have spent several hours reading about them today.  I won't go into all the details, but here are several resources if you want to read more: New Wineskins website, Presbyweb.com and The Presbyterian Outlook.

The NWAC had a two-day conference this past week where they outlined a strategy for these like-minded churches to leave the PCUSA.  Again, check the above referenced sites for details if this is even remotely interesting to you.  The short version is that the strategy they propose would involve an alignment/ partnership with another Presbyterian denomination called the Evangelical Presbyterian Church (EPC.)  The EPC is a small group of approximately 180 churches who became a denomination in 1981.  The NWAC plan is to form a transitional non-geographical New Wineskins Presbytery within the EPC for a period of 5 years (frankly, I'm not clear on what happens at the end of the 5 years.) Again, if you are interested in more details, you can read the whole thing here (click on Strategy Team Report.)

Enough history...here's my issue (you knew that I had to have an issue, didn't you?)  Based on everything that I read today, including the New Wineskins Strategy Team Report, the EPC has some "issues" around the ordination of women as deacons, elders and ministers.  To be more specific, they believe it is up to each church to determine whether to ordain women as officers and up to each presbytery to determine whether to ordain women as Ministers of Word and Sacrament.  They call this type of ordination standard "Local Option."  Again, based on the reading I have done so far, it seems that most EPC churches do NOT believe it is biblical to ordain women as officers and ministers and therefore choose the option to not do so.  They believe that the ordination of women is a non-essential issue and therefore, we can just agree to disagree and still love one another and serve God together.

Here's the part that confuses me; the same people who were VERY upset by the "local option" for the ordination of homosexuals now seem to be OK with this same ordination standard for women.  "Agreeing to disagree" in terms of homosexual ordination was seen as tantamount to endorsing homosexual ordination.   In fact, this was one of the biggest issues for many who now seek to leave the PCUSA. As a layperson, I was under the impression that "local option" was a bad word....that local option meant we were copping out and couldn't decide what we believed...that local option meant we were allowing our core beliefs to be highjacked by extremists within the faith.   Although the NWAC maintains that they believe the ordination of women is biblical, they seem to be comfortable aligning themselves with a denominational structure that allows the option of relegating women back to a position as second class citizens in doing the work of the Kingdom. 

Despite my concerns, much of the material that I read about NWAC was wonderful.  They are trying to be faithful to the direction in which God is leading them and make the best of a very difficult situation.  Despite my concerns, much of the material that I read about the EPC was also wonderful.  They too are trying to be faithful to God's leading and attempting to strengthen the Kingdom by providing their PCUSA brothers and sisters(?) with a viable option.  That is what makes this so confusing.

So far, one whole day into this discussion, I just can't get past this "ordination of women" hurdle.  Would a church who decided to join the NWAC and leave the PCUSA to be part of this New Wineskins Presbytery of the EPC not be giving tacit approval to those who seek to discriminate against women in the ministry?  What if the EPC held to a "local option" standard for the ordination of black men....would it still be OK to align ourselves with them?  Clearly, that would be wrong...a deal-breaker for sure!!  Do we not feel as strongly about the biblical basis for the ordination of women?  Could we just overlook that one little thing in order to make this work?   If we do, aren't we compromising our core beliefs all over again?  Maybe we will change them from within the system...maybe our influence will convince them of the "error of their ways."  But, if we believe that is possible, wouldn't we want to stay and try to be that influence within the PCUSA?  What if a church is made up of people who have a variety of beliefs on a variety of issues?  How would that church determine what their "essential" and "non-essential" issues are then?  As a family with two daughters, could we in good conscience be part of a denomination that may or may not support our girls if they felt God calling them to the ministry?  What are our "essential" and "non-essential" issues in terms of our faith?

Just some thoughts on the future of the PCUSA on a day when I am stuck at home with a sick kid....pray for my baby girl, she has the flu!  We are all on Tamiflu at our house in an attempt avoid spreading it around.  We are also expecting a huge ice storm, so I may have a lot of time to read and write in the next few days!

I wonder what Jesus thinks of all this (the church stuff, not the flu...I feel quite certain He is firmly against the flu :-)

It's official!!

Senator Obama sent me a little personal message today (me and a few million other interested people!) Thought you might enjoy hearing what he had to say!

Godspell

If you grew up in the 70s, you are familiar with the musical "Godspell."  It is a wonderful play, based primarily on the Gospel of Matthew.  The music includes some of my all-time favorites.  My oldest daughter and I are in the cast of our church's upcoming production.  If you live in the Northern Virginia area, you can get tickets to the production here on our church's website.  Our cast ranges in age from 10 to 50-something and, if I do say so myself, we have an amazing number of talented performers.  We are having a blast rehearsing...you can see what a fun group it is in the picture! 

I'll talk more about Godspell as we get closer, but wanted to get ticket information out now!

Deeper Water

I read an entry on one of my favorite blogs the other day that has been bouncing around in my head ever since.  I have recommended don't eat alone to you before...Milton's writing is truly a blessing to me.  His wife, Ginger,is a pastor and he referenced one of her sermons the other day.  As far as I can tell, the sermon was based on this passage from the book of Luke:

Push Out into Deep Water (The Message)

1-3Once when he was standing on the shore of Lake Gennesaret, the crowd was pushing in on him to better hear the Word of God. He noticed two boats tied up. The fishermen had just left them and were out scrubbing their nets. He climbed into the boat that was Simon's and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Sitting there, using the boat for a pulpit, he taught the crowd.

4When he finished teaching, he said to Simon, "Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch."

5-7Simon said, "Master, we've been fishing hard all night and haven't caught even a minnow. But if you say so, I'll let out the nets." It was no sooner said than done—a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity. They waved to their partners in the other boat to come help them. They filled both boats, nearly swamping them with the catch.

8-10Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell to his knees before Jesus. "Master, leave. I'm a sinner and can't handle this holiness. Leave me to myself." When they pulled in that catch of fish, awe overwhelmed Simon and everyone with him. It was the same with James and John, Zebedee's sons, coworkers with Simon.

10-11Jesus said to Simon, "There is nothing to fear. From now on you'll be fishing for men and women." They pulled their boats up on the beach, left them, nets and all, and followed him.

In Milton's post, he referenced several times this idea of "casting our nets into deeper waters."  This is the phrase that has stuck with me since Sunday.

Sometimes, against our will, our boats get pushed into deeper waters...unknown, scary waters...and we wonder if we should paddle for shore or go ahead and do some fishing while we are there...we've heard rumors of some great fish from these waters.  Or maybe, we are considering choosing a new fishing spot.  When we first began fishing, the safer water near the shore felt just right.  Now, however, we know every nook and cranny of those shallower waters and we suspect that it is time to move on to those deeper, less familiar waters.  Yet, despite our boredom with these familiar waters, we do feel awfully safe and comfy here in our home near the shore, so we talk a lot about our plans to explore those deeper waters someday....just not right now.  Sometimes, like in this story, Jesus calls us to intentionally push out into the deeper waters with Him and then invites us to cast our nets even though our experience tells us that the fishing has been really stinky lately.  Knowing that He is an expert fisherman, we are drawn to explore those unknown waters in spite of our fear.

However we get there...pushed, dragged, pulled, beckoned, drawn, invited...the deeper waters hold different treasures than the shallow waters.  I love the part in the story when Peter, overwhelmed by the enormity of the catch, cried out that he "can't handle this holiness.  Leave me to myself."  Of course, that's the thing about the deeper waters...we absolutely can't handle it by ourselves.  Deeper waters require a guide...a lifeguard...someone to help us haul in our nets when we are overwhelmed by the magnificience of the catch.  We aren't safe in the deeper waters.  The deeper waters change and transform us.  Once we cast our net in the deeper waters, the shallow waters lose their appeal.

This metaphor of deeper waters really resonates with me right now.  I have the privilege right now of being involved in several small group settings where I hear the yearning of my fellow sojourners for deeper waters.  Perhaps they have been stuck on the shore and are finally ready to put their toe in the water.  Perhaps they have been too scared to venture far from shore in the past, but are finding it increasingly difficult to resist the invitation to explore the deeper waters.  Perhaps they are just beginning to believe that Jesus is a trustworthy fishing guide.  Perhaps, they have delved into the deeper waters before and were overwhelmed by the potential haul.  In their fear....in MY fear...retreat to shallower waters seemed preferable to the heavy lifting that might be required by life in the deeper waters. 

So, what do we make of all this talk of fishing?  I guess my hope, my prayer, would be that we would all face towards the deeper water...whether we are on the shore or in up to our waist...and take one step deeper, one step further, one step closer.  Then we let out our nets and see what happens!

More from Senator Obama

I am reading Senator Obama's two books right now. He is an eloquent writer, as well as a gifted speaker. I am enjoying the opportunity to learn more about the journey that has brought him to this moment in history.  Whatever happens in the election, he is a dynamic leader who speaks clearly about values that many of us share.  Regardless of your politics, you might enjoy the following video that tells a little more about this rising political star.