We were struggling. We didn't really know what to do next. We had come at this problem from every angle that made sense and nothing had changed. We sat there in silence and I thought to myself "I'm the mom. I should know how to fix this." Then I felt that gentle tug on my heart.
Feeling silly for not thinking of it before, I said "Let's pray." So, we joined hands and prayed. We told God that we didn't know what to do next to fix this situation and we were tired and frustrated. We asked that He bring healing and guidance and focus and patience. And then we said Amen...and tried again.
During the rest of the day, we kept talking and listening. We even cried a little bit at times. We also made brownies and breathed deeply. And then talked some more. Towards evening, we expanded the circle to include some friends who brought understanding and laughter.
It wasn't until the day was over that we realized that we were better... maybe not fixed....but better. The burden felt lighter and the way seemed clearer. We didn't have to try so hard to breathe deeply.
As I lay in bed thinking about the day, I gratefully realized that the shift happened when we stopped to pray. Not a lightening bolt or a miraculous healing, but a way forward that felt manageable. A letting down and a letting go that allowed us to wade through the fear and worry to a place of hope and calm. A place that felt safe...a place to begin.
As I said my tearful thank you, I felt Him say "I was just waiting for you to ask."